Rachael - posted on 10/14/2009 ( 40 moms have responded )
I had a talk once with my husband. He said that I don't show enough affection to his daughter...that maybe part of the reason she's got attitude so much is that I don't ever stop to hug her or tell her I love her or make the same kind of comments to her that I do my own daughter. Now, this attitude is not geared towards me; she is the same to my husband, her teacher, her friends, etc. So, I don't think my lack of affection has anything to do with it. However, to keep on subject, I just don't feel comfortable doing those things to her. My own children are just that...my own children. I grew them in my belly, I gave birth to them, I nursed them, I held them for too many sleepless nights, I see my 3 year old turning into a mini-me and am excited about my youngest being the same. I give my babies lots of hugs & kisses...but not my step-daughter. I take 7,000 pictures of my children (who are with me all day long) and none of my step-daughter unless she's in the picture with my kids. I make scrapbooks of my children and not of my step-daughter. I take my 3 year old on auditions and sign her up for pageants and dance classes and other extra-curricular events...but not my step-daughter. I'm not trying to exclude her or anything. She's at school all day long. My step-daughters mom never really did all of these things for or with her so I think my husband feels that she's missing out & I should pick up the slack. I am planning on putting my daughter in Girl Scouts and my husband got upset that his ex wouldn't take his daughter. I guess he just expects that I will do all the "normal" mom stuff for all of our kids and I feel that, as a divorced parent, YOU should pick up the slack when your ex falls short, not expect another person to do it for you. Am I being too harsh? I just can't seem to force myself to be more affectionate; I don't feel the desire to make sure I hug her before she goes to bed at night or give her a kiss when I drop her off at school. My husband does these things to my daughter sometimes...but it's just not me. Does anyone else feel this way?