Joanna - posted on 08/03/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )
I have 2 children from my previous marriage, 7yrs old and 9yrs old. My husband has 2 children from previous relationships, 5yrs old and 7yrs old and we have a 9month old baby together. My kids stay with their dad 2 evenings a week after school and then every other sat & sun night and currently this works well. My ex hasn't got a new partner, so he can be quite flexible with the kids. However, my husband's kids have stayed with us almost every week, either friday night or saturday night or sometimes 2 nights. We have his kids on those weekends, when I got mine as well, otherwise it would be difficult to have time for just us and our baby.
Now during the summer holidays, my 2 children have gone away with their dad for 2 weeks and I'm certainly enjoying the break. However, my husband works monday to friday and obviously his ex is asking when he is seeing his 5yr son (his 7yrs old is with his ex-wife and the 5yrs with an ex girlfriend). I said to my husband that you';; have to see him during the weekend as I'm not prepared to look after him during the week when he's at work. Am I being unfair??? I just feel that I never get a break, I have responsibility constantly for 3 children and now that my 2 kids are away I feel that I need the break for myself. The mother of the 5yrs is very difficult and acts very bitter. She has moved away from the area and this makes it even harder to organise access. She thinks that it's fair that my husband should pick his son from 30miles away and drop him off. I feel that this is difficult as we have 3other kids leaving with us and sometimes it is difficult to drive that far. Am I unfair saying that our family ie. my kids and the baby, takes now priority? My husband's ex cheated on him and treated him very badly, he tried to stay in the relationship as long as he could for the sake of his son.
Am I unfair for wanting to spend time with my husband and our baby?? We only got married 2 weeks ago.
Thanks for reading and I hope this makes some sense....