Leslie - posted on 10/11/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )
Okay this may be long but I am goin to try my best to keep it short. My hubby and I have been together for 9 and half years, We had only been dating for about 2 weeks when his daughter came to live with him, not long after that we moved in together. I had 3 kids of my own, and had been a single happy mother for over a year. I had no problem with her staying with us at all. At first the little things she did didn't bother me, but it got to the point that my hubby wanted to get onto my kids for something but when she did he always seemed not to notice. I was the type of person that she was not mine so I did not have any place to really get onto her the way I do my own. After a few months of this I started treating her the same way no excuses. That was fine. Her mom comes and goes out of her life, and up and moved off to Detriot with no good byes, nothing. We did not hear form her and I took on the role of her full time mama. I did everything for her as I did my own then 3 years later her mama pops back in and the next thing I know my hubby is takin the daughter to go spend the weekend with her "mama" did not even talk to me bout it nothing. I was mad but what ever... So as time has went on I am stuck always cleaning up her mamas messes. She is now 14 and this is where my problems come in.... She is real boy crazy... I understand that she is 14 and that just so happens to come with her age thats fine I have no problem with that. Its the way she carries herself around them. Her clothes have to be so skin tight like her pants are sprayed painted on her she will not wear a t- shirt unless its tight, She has a cute lil figured and does not look 14 she looks more 16 or even 17. I DO NOT but her clothes the way she likes them, I dont buy them baggy and 2 sizes to big either I dont mind her wearing clothes that fit but do they always have to show everything off?! I have tried talking to her but with no luck. I was just like her at 14 and had my first child at 15, I do not want his for her. I let her have a myspace but I moniter everything on it. I do not trust her for anything. She has lied to me so many times that its not even funny. Over the summer I let her spend the night with the girl rite next door, it was 9 at nite but its rite next door, come to find out she went to the movies with the girls bf and his dad!! I did not even know she went and not to mention I did not even Know the bf or his dad!! When I addressed it with her her dad never spoke up and said anything! I will not allow her to wear short shorts, the one that they seem to only make and how she ends up with them is beyond me! Her dad never seems to notice, her nana is buying the tight clothes and I am at the point to where I should just shut up. I am tired of always being the bad guy, and sick of her attitude. We wnt on a cruise this summer and I bought her a new bathing suit, its a one piece and it looks very cute on her. Of course she hates it, she went to her moms and came back with a string bikini!! Her dad did get upset on that one just b/c I pointed it out. We just found out she is type 1 diabetice, and now I am the bad guy cuz I am on her all the time to check her sugar, no you can not have this cuz its 500 and I get her huffin and puffin and rollin her eyes. She has told all my friends that i yell at her all the time and how she wishes she had a relationship with me like my 13 year old son. Yes me and my son have a great realationship, he tells me everything, however... he has never lied to me he has never snuck behind my back he listens to me. I so not always yell at her yes I am on her for her clothes and the way she acts around boys, even my 13 yo son is on her bout the way she acts round boys. She does not listen. She has to check her sugar before every meal and she "forgets" to she forgets to take the right amount of insulin. I am sick of everyone on my hubby side catering to her and fellin sorry for her. Yes seh has had a tuff life but she has been with me for almost 10 years now so she does not have a excuse. Yes she has a dead beat mom but my kids have a dead beat dad but oh well!! I do not know what to do any longer, should I still stay on her about the way she dresses and acts even if I do not get any back up from her dad or should I just be like 4 get it do whatever. If she comes up knocked up sit back and tell everybody told you so..... I am at my wits end!!