Can u Help with step daughter please?

Shelontae - posted on 05/19/2012

Okay, I know where you are coming from here. I would first like to know where is her biological mother? This question is asked because while she is in school during the day she knows the difference now. Her classmates talk about various topics that we adults would not remotely think that a child would discuss during their day. This is a very sensitive topic for her and she does not know why. Try talking with dad first before her and find a very positive way of approaching this subject matter. She may be experiencing some emotional attention deficit. This would only be because she thinks that her family is not the same as her classmates families. Also, does she spend time with her mothers family? Does she talk with them on the phone at times? These are all very important to her because her mother is not there.

I have a 8 year old son that has gone through the same thing. I have taken these steps and over time he is beginning to understand and to feel much better about himself and participate more in class. He started doing the same thing. I found that my son felt rejected. So, I implemented his father's family into his life more and more and he is feeling better about himself. Now, he is not around his father but, his father's family.

Also, if there is a school social worker that works at the school have him/her involved when she is having a rough moment. Therefore, she feels that there is someone in school that can help her and understand her when she is going through a rough moment. Lastly, I would say to love her and not give her a different treatment just because she is seemingly rebellious in school. This will let her know that you and daddy love her no matter what and that you both will treat her the same no matter what she may be experiencing. Good luck and God bless you and your family.

Sharon - posted on 05/16/2012

Having read your post, just make sure that it is stubbornness and not another problem.

My now 16 year old son decided in K that he didn't need to learn to read and write. I'm not so sure that that was the case, I believe that it was that he couldn't. His fine motor skills never developed that he could do Lego or Mechano. He is in Gr 11 now and reads at maybe a GR 3 level. His math is only good enough for common everyday math usage, banking type and simple arithmetic. However, his common sense is rated as higher than most in his Gr level.

We never did anything about it and we are hoping that he will be able to make it in life, but short of the reading thing, he is normal.

Just make sure that it is stubborn and not something else.

Sol4J - posted on 05/09/2012

Your desire to be the best step mom you can came through in your words. It's evident you deeply love your step daughter. You may take comfort in listening to two radio programs that are on Focus on the Family's website. They were also very helpful to me and I know about them during my time with Focus. Just go to www.focusonthefamily.com and then type the name "Cynthia Tobias" on the search field. The programs"Surviving the Strong Willed Child" Part 1 and 2 and also "Helping Your Child Succeed" Part 1 and 2 will pop up. The speaker is a former teacher who has plenty of practical advice for frazzled parents of strong-willed children. Also, she offers advice and encouragement from her books, "The Way They Learn" and "Every Child Can Succeed." Hope this helps. Blessings!

Kelly - posted on 05/08/2012

Have you spoken to your sd about why she is making these choices? It might be that it is something that she can control. Other then that put her is summer school and explain to her that because of the choices she has made rather then getting 2 months off to play and do fun summer things that she will be going to school. Then make sure that you and your ss do everything you have planned for the summer and hopefully she will make better choices next year. By putting her is summer school and do what the teacher and school have recommended it will show her that school is important. Also does the school send home that work she is not doing or that she needs to work on?