Kristen - posted on 01/25/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )
I have an 8 year old step son who lives with my husband and I, his bio sister (age 11) and my 2 sons (ages 10 and 6) full time - they go see their "other parents" 4 days a month. Our 8 year old seems to be greatly affected by this lately.... They switched schools in August to live with us full time and went from 50/50 last year to seeing his bio mom only a few days a month now. She is now engaged to live-in boyfriend #5 in 3 years. She lives 10 minutes down the street and doesn't even know where the kids new school is. She chose to miss their award ceremony in which he received an art award and the dean's list honor for leadership in behavior. She chose not to come see him as the star in the Christmas eve play at church.....The list is endless. In their parenting plan, she has the option for a 3rd weekend every month AND a dinner night every week - neither of which she has ever taken. She has caught a nasty habit of telling the kids "I'll try to come take you to dinner" or "this month I can come get you all 3 weekends" and then doesn't show. She gives him this false hope all the time. Our 8 year old is devastated, I'm guessing it's because he's feeling abandoned. He is very immature when they talk on the phone, he asks her almost every day if she will come see him, she always says maybe, we'll see, I'll try and never does. He is hyper-sensitive and ADHD. He threw a FIT about us buying him new shoes and throwing his old ones away (that his mom bought him) they were 2 sizes too small, holes in the heels and his toes were poked out the front, saying they "are special." It seems like it is getting worse by the day! We have found his diary of a wimpy kid in which he is leaving me out of everything - like draw your family - he draws everyone in both houses except me. Every open topic school paper is things like "I did this on winter break but my mom didn't come watch or pick me up" but then an attitude of she's God-like and can do no wrong. He told our youngest that I'm evil - which we found out she told him about me because we had filed contempt. Over the last few years, she has told him that Daddy loves me and my kids more than them, the power is shut off bc Daddy didn't love us enough to send money so she could pay it, Daddy is stealing his shoes (when they were forgot one weekend)..... completely and totally out of line things to say to a 5-7 year old! I'm wondering if this current behavior is a result of what she put in his head early on and the abandonment he's feeling bc she refuses to make him a priority of time. Can anyone relate offer advice and help????