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Help! I am a stepmother to 3 children now aged, 20, 15 and 11.

Michelle - posted on 04/28/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Help! I am a stepmother to 3 children now aged, 20, 15 and 11. I've been with their father for 10 years, and we see them everyother weekend. They live with their mother and stepdad, with their 6 year old daughter. However recently when they the latter 2 come to see us for the weekend, I really can't stand to be around them. My whole body tenses up and I become very irratiable with them, especially the 11 year old, this affects my whole demeanour with all around me. I feel sometimes like I'm going mad, I'm woman of faith and I know having these feelings are wrong, I do pray to the Lord to change my atittude. I want to say to my husband how I really feel about his children, but I know he will be really upset. I do love them but at the moment I find them really irritating, especially the 11 year old girl. She doesn't like to do any housework when we ask her, it is her mothers fault, who i'm really have bad feelings about. I really do pray that the Lord changes my heart, but i do not feel happy when they are around. I forgot to mention I have a 2 year old daughter also, and I do feel having her has made my relationship change towards them, is that normal, right? I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't want to feel the way I'm feeling. Any construtive advice is most welcome. Thank you.

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Spikey - posted on 05/07/2012

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OH YES...I understand that all toooo well. My husbands ex is into wiccan (after being a proclaimed baptist). So I completely get it.
I pray over all of us and hug the children in the name of Jesus. Sometimes they pull away and after a bit of being away from her they come around in a loving way. But I keep it in prayer and even ask my mom to pray with me. Having 2 or more believing in prayer helps. I will keep you in prayer.
I'm not saying you still wont have challenges, we do, but its a relief knowing Gods there::))

Remember take care of health and pray for better health, strength, and a release from her evil over your household and family. God Bless!!

Michelle - posted on 05/07/2012

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Hi Spikey, was really encouraged by your comment. The thing is regarding our home and rules, I have told them this, maybe when I haven't been at my calmest, but they know we are a Christian household and somethings that are said and done at their home, is not abided by in our home.
I believe though that Satan is trying to attack the children via me, so I know I have to keep praying aganist that and renewing my mind on all the goodness that the Lord has and continues to show me.
Not easy, but as I say to my husband, the children are growing up not down, they will be free from the infleunce of their mother.
Thank you again for the encouragement.

Spikey - posted on 05/01/2012

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Its not easy being a parent or a step parent. First, you are doing the right thing in keeping this is prayer:)
In my opinion, Your husband and you should be on the same page when it comes to the frustrations of his ex. This way he can support you and be able to sit your 11 year old down and help her understand she has 2 homes and 2 sets of rules she needs to abide by. He can also make sure she remembers you make him happy and you have been in her life loving her no matter what and that you have earned all their respect. There are ways to demonstrate by examples that what their bio-mother is telling them is wrong and its out of her own insecurities.
Be strong and remember Gods there. The ex is NOT worth your well being or your health!!!! God Bless and good luck::))

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