C - posted on 11/03/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )
I really need to rant! I really need some advice.
A quick look- I have 2 girls 12 and 14 years, I have 1 son 3 years. I am married - 5 years. My husband and I run our own company. I work from home my husband works in the field. We have a dog, large extended family, a home and I want to go back to school.
I have great kids they are truly awesome little people! They are very different and always pulling me in every directions due to thier ages. I have a difficult but good marriage and our business is thriving!
My rant!! Here it goes..
Every day they (kids and husband) wake up and I do everything I can for them. I set my husband up for the days work, I make sure my kids feel good for the day. I help find shoes, homework, car keys. I get started on work, I answer emails. I get my three year old up and happy. I talk to my brother in law. I start the laundry. I solve all the mornings problems for all of them....I remember all thier fundraisers, due dates, lunch money, bill dates, work guidelines. I AM the go to person for all of them... I am THE MOM
They leave and the house I just cleaned yesterday is a mess, the office is a disaster, the laundry is still on the bathroom floor. The dinner/breakfast dishes are still in the sink. The dog is not fed, mud on the floor from work boots.... and so on and so on..
I feel all used up and very alone every morning when they leave.. I feel like a tornado hit me then threw me on the floor laughing as I lay overwhelmed and sad.
My three year old is home with me. I work about 6-8 hours a day at home. I am able on most days to schedule it at times it works for me and my son. I spend the day cleaning, teaching and
working... I enjoy most of the day after I get over the morning.
THEN... they all come home!!!
I pick up my oldest from band every day its an hour trip.. She wants to talk and talk and talk... She is all about her and her stuff as it should be..Its, I need this and I need that and I wont be here at all this week and oh dont forget this and this and this....
My middle comes home on the bus and the homewok fight begins. I say do your vocabulary today.. and she pretends she is looking them up only she is writting a bunch of jiberish.. I tell her no clarinet until she is done with her homework and she gets the clarinet before she is done with her homework. I ask if she has a test to correct and she says no... Then I find it under her bed. She is twelve and I have no control at all. I say finish this before your shower and she takes a shower with out finishing it. Its silly stuff but its a problem.
My husband comes home and all that comes out of his mouth is WORk WORK WORK. He is stressed and on the phone or starring at the TV the remainder of the night. He tries not to take his stress out on us But he is totally absent, hardly ever does anything around the house or with the kids UNTIL I SAY TOO.
I clean the house, I cook all the food, I do all the shopping, I clean up the yard and HIS GARAGE. I do all the laundry. I pay all bills. I take care of the kids and all of thier stuff. Every need, question and issue is my job and I DO IT ALL.
I am a neat freak and I work and live in my house all day every day. I like it very clean. So I made a family HUB. everyone has chores except my husband. My girls have two 10 minute chores a day each. My son also has two small chores a day. We have a calander. The girls are suppose to write thier needs and special events on it.
UNLESS I say do your chores and write your stuff on the calander -They dont do it.
I have fitness goals but I am never with out a child ever ever... So I work out at 5:30 am. while thay all sleep. I am never with out a child so I have a hard time getting a hair cut or doing any thing.
In order to get time alone.... I have to cook dinner, clean the house and hope that my husband makes it home. If he does and I leave for an hour or two, when I come home- no homework is done - no showers are taken and my three year old is cranky and hungry.
My husband says its unfair to set my standards for him when he has the kids... I dont think dinner and showers and homework are standards - just parenting.
This morning when my husband was loading for work. I went out side to ask a work question and he was loading his dirt bike. I try hard not to say anything when he gets a few hours to play becuase he works ALOT and its usually few and far between.. But I was very tired this morning as he has restless leg syndrome and I slept on our couch last night.... And this is the second time this week he went riding.
I am just not having much fun myself! I dont get a free minute. I cant even shower with out my son talking to me the entire time. Or I find his dad outside and him playing sword fight on the STAIRS! ( a few days ago)
I need a break !!!!!
It really helps to let it out I know its very long... But Thanks