His Daughter starts alot of drama in my home

Mel - posted on 07/27/2012

I talked to my hubby. I let him know she was being disrespectful. I told him that I was going to leave it up to him. I took the role that most people take. I left it up to the parent. He asked for advice. We quietly discussed options and I gave him my suggestions. He decided what he thought was best. He took some of them and left some out. I also told him the things that were unacceptable to me and why. He took care of it. She won't be angry at him to long :)

Chaya - posted on 07/10/2012

If you don't insist on the child eating what you eat, you're going to have a kid with eating disorders before long. Allergies and intolerances excepted. (They are not the same thing. Allergies will cause a physical reaction, intolerance will cause GI issues.)
My rule at that age was that my kids have to eat something healthy before they can have junk food.
You and your sweetheart need to decide what the rules are going to be. You don't have to be hyper strict, but if the chore is to put your laundry away, and she refusesb, fine, she doesn't have to do her chores, you don't have to do yours. Mine would include dinner. My 9 year old
Try doing things with her, no so much for her. If she wants cookies, bake cookies with her. It'll teach her fractions and she can eat her results.
Cell phone- an 11 year old needs one, preferably with a camera. If I were to cause your kid a problem, she could take a pcture of me and call 911.
Bedtime should be negotiated, In the summer, my kids can stay up as late as they wish as long as they're quiet.
Tattling, tell her to mind her own business. Eventually she'll figure out that it doesn't pay to tattle. My twin once told my dad that I wet my pants, she failed to tell him that I wet my pants because I had a knife pulled on me. Someone else told him.
You need to put your foot down with both the boyfriend and the child, otherwise, the children will grow to resent each other, and the relationship will fall apart

Stefani - posted on 07/02/2012

Chasitidy
Thank you so much and I wish you and yours the best too!!!

Chasitidy - posted on 07/01/2012

Your welcome I would say Im sorry to hear you split up with him but that would be a lie lol Im much happier knowing you were smart enough to get out while you could. Just remember the next time you meet a guy you like and he mentions an x or kids RUN RUN FAST LITTLE BUDDY!!!! No really I wish you and your son the best.

Stefani - posted on 07/01/2012

Chasitidy
UPDATE
My SO and I just split. I couldnt deal with him or her anymore. His daughter is really proving her colors the older she gets. The last straw was this spring break, she had one whole week of school off. And she stayed with us the whole week. She was in my face every two seconds for attention. I kept telling her to go outside I cannot entertain her all day i have computer work to do. Her and my son got into an argument bc he was playing a video game and she kept calling him stupid when i walked into the room she had her fist up, i almost lost my cool. She complained the whole week. My son got into trouble and my SO took his ps3 away but when his daughter got into trouble that week he would let her keep her cell phone. I ended up taking it away from her. Ive caught her n that phone so many times talking crap about me and my kid to her mom. So when we sent her home i got a phone call from her mother who was upset bc her daughter went back and told her that we made her sit in our house all week. We paid for 6 months of karate for my son. My son has a better life and blah blah. Her mom signed her up for gymnastics months ago, but bc my son is in karate and she thinks her dad paid for it she thinks she should go too. Ive washed my hands. I cannot live this way anymore, I havent seen that devious little face in 4 months now and i can say that im satisfied. They are going to have so many problems with her when shes older they might now see now, but i have and i know one day they'll wish they listned to me. Shes sneaky, Lies, manipulates to get what she needs, plays sides, steals, plays the victim, cannot take fault. Good luck to them but im done. Thank you Chasitidy for letting me vent and giving me advice! Its sorta nice in a way to know im not alone!

Chasitidy - posted on 07/01/2012

LOL I know its not funny but you sound like me. I have a step daughter she was 6 when me and her father got together 7 yrs ago. She acted just the same way to me that your step daughter is acting towards you. My husband was blind to how hateful and disrespectful she was toward me. He refused to disipline her. He always says and still does to this very day that he never wants to upset her cause then she wont come back. He would buy her anything give her anything. I spent the last 7yrs bending over backwards trying to win her love respect heck Im not sure what i wanted from her it just irked me that no matter how nice I was or what I did for her I was never good enough. It made no sense to me I also have 3 step sons her brothers and they love me. We get along great. Than about a year ago I told my husband I wash my hands of the whole mess when shes here ill stay to myself let them have their time. I was done letting it effect our marriage and my sanity but it still hurt me that he wouldnt do what was right and make the hateful spoiled bratt treat me decent. At least answer me when I asked her a simple yes or no question instead of rolling her eyes and looking the other way. It was about that same time that daddy's little girl became a teenager and noticed boys and cell phones. It has been 8 mnths since she spent more than 20 min at hour house and that was only because it was to hot to sit in the car and her mom who is a good friend of mine was here visiting with all her kids. Now daddys little girl is to good to speak to him she says she has better things to do. Her hateful looks and attitude have now carried over to both her real parents as she calls them. I just sit back and smile I told them both for yrs she was getting out of hand. My advice to you is wait it out lol puberty is just around the corner the last thing any teenage girl wants to do is spend time at their dads house or with the women she couldnt get rid of no matter how hard she tried. When that time comes do what I do now enjoy quite weekends watching cartoons with the ones that do love me or cuddleing with the heart broken daddy that I dont have to share anymore.

Rachel - posted on 06/17/2012

patience...... and don't discipline her.... when she comes for the weekend, take your son and go do something fun and when she asks if she can come, let her know it's on your terms and she has to follow your rules, or if she doesn't then good too. let her have some undivided attention from her dad, and let him know that you are removing yourself from the situation so as not to create resentment toward her. she's only going to get worse as she gets older but before you know it she'll be 18 and then 25 and she'll remember the way you treated her as a child when she's grown.