how can i marry the man i love with out becomming responsible for his child support order for a child outside our relationship?

Elizabeth - posted on 05/09/2013

Why would you support and marry a man who doesn't work? How did he even afford a ring? Sorry but it sounds like he is using you and his first "baby mama" was lucky to get out of that relationship with him! Both people need to contribute in a relationship, the kids can go to daycare and be social with other kids!

Jana - posted on 11/19/2012

Reguardless of wheather your financially responsible someone will have to be held responsible, so even if they don't make you pay he will have to either by going to jail or paying it. I think of that in my siutation too, my fiance pays a 1000.00$ a month and in the event that he lost his job could his ex legally take us to court and could I be held financially responsible .....I'm not sure !! It's bad enough when your living with less to give to another household, i would rather just take more respnsibility of the kids.

Evelyn - posted on 11/17/2012

As far as I know, if you marry him they can take it out of your paycheck to pay the support. He needs to get a job and start paying for his kid's support. He should have been doing it all along. I am surprised he has not been taken in by the law for non-payment after six years. I think there is a federal and state level laws on this. He needs to check with a lawyer on this. If you knew this was going on then why did you continue with him? My question is this: If you two break off and have kids, do you know for a fact that he is going to pay their support too?

Ariel - posted on 11/03/2012

Ur soon to be is not helping anyone by not paying support. I live in Tennessee. And if his daughter is on government insurance he will get like a 20000 dollar bill in the mail for her insurance. And even if she isn't. Then he will be getting a big bill in the mail bout child support. And even tho it won't be your bill to pay. U will still end up being strai.ed by it because ur husband will have to pay it. And that takes money pit ur household. Tell ur soon to be to get up and go make some money to pay for his child. My baby's father pays for her thank god. But this is after court court court. So he already has a lot of bacchild support to pay. We also pay child support to my step daughters mother. And it ain't even through the courts yet and we been layin this for 3 years. So I'm tellin u right now if ur really in love with this guy then u will make him do the right thing by his daughter cause he isn't hurting anyone but her.

Ariana - posted on 10/31/2012

Sounds like your hubby needs to get a part-time job. I mean he has a 6 year old who he's not paying for. How would you feel if you had a child who's Dad refused to pay for anything for them?

Rachel - posted on 10/30/2012

I think it depends on the state you live in but as far as I know, it wouldn't be your responsibility to pay his child support, even if you get married.

Child support is for his child so they can't expect you to pay it. If anything, it will go into arrears.

Denise - posted on 10/23/2012

Depending on the state you live in you shouldn't be responsible for your soon to be husband's daughter even if you are the only income. My husband is the only income most of the time and I pay support to my ex because I didn't want my kids in my school district and he is a great father and my husband is not responsible for my support order. I am. It just comes out of anything I make and my taxes when I file. He needs to get a job and stop being a stay at home dad, I'm sorry but in this day and age there are plenty of jobs he can do from home. Time to step up and start paying that support order before he lands in jail for non-support.

MamaTo2 - posted on 10/05/2012

The laws are different depending where you live. If money is tight your best bet would be to call around to some local lawyers and ask if any of them offer a one-time free consultation so you can sit down and talk about all this with someone who is educated on the laws where you live. I know where I live any debt accrued prior to marriage does not fall on your spouse, and they don't take anything about your spouse or other children together into consideration when ordering or enforcing child support. But as someone above mentioned, they DO in some places. You may be able to find the laws on a government website. I found all my state's child support statutes on the state child support site, so dig around the web too. But be sure they are credible sites you're getting the info from. And I would for sure get in touch with a lawyer, even if you can't afford to retain them, they can at least give you some info specific to your situation. But also, as the person above mentioned, you have more to be concerned about than just whether or not the state will come after your paycheck. Your fiance HAS to pay that. If not now, eventually. Consequences vary from place to place, but the repercussions of not paying it now could be huge on your family. So it is still going to affect you either way.

Linda - posted on 10/03/2012

Where I live, they take both the estranged husband and his new wife's income into account as to what % they will take from his check.

If they are both working they take more of a % from his check up to 25% before taxes are taken out. If his wife does not work and they have children together, it decreases the % of what the first wife or girlfriend will get in support for the child she had with him.



They used to take the 25% off the top of the husbands check regardless if he married again or how many kids they had. The judges used to tell the guys....well you knew you already had a kid to take care of before you decided to start another whole family! Men did not have many rights to their kids then either...and it really wasn't that long ago...maybe 10 years.



So be careful! And if you are the only one working and you are only making it paycheck to paycheck, why isn't your soon to be hubby pitching in??? Even disabled there are a lot of things he can do!! I know because I am and I still earn a paycheck!!



Be careful and think your life through very carefully.....remember....what you see is what you get!

Good luck.

Sandra - posted on 10/01/2012

I live in Tennessee. Here all parents have to pay child support whether they work or not. The court orders are based on what the court determines your income should be. Then if the parents doesn't

pay they take their license and then they put them in jail.



My ex has always worked and has always paid child support but I have seen hundreds of moms and dads thrown in jail while in child support court. Most of them didn't have jobs either.



Sounds like your bf doesn't work or works under the table to avoid paying to support his child. It amazes me that anyone would want to marry a man like this. A better question is if you get married and have a child then get divorced how can you collect support from this man?



I work for myself and after all of my self employment deductions I don't make much according to my taxes. I am assigned an income that is slightly higher. I am the custodial parent but my income and his are used to figure out what each parent shares are for the children.

AMY - posted on 09/26/2012

I live in Alabama and even if you get married, they will still base his child support solely on his income, they will not even bring you in the picture as that is not your child to support.

Misty - posted on 09/16/2012

I don't know how things are where you live, but legally where I am, they cannot legally hold you responsible for his child support!! It is not your child therefore you cannot be summoned for child support!! Like I said, I don't know how it is where you live, but that's how it is where I live!!

Ana - posted on 09/13/2012

Hummm..I really don't know for sure, but Child Support may not be the only issue for payment of debts incurred prior to marriage especially if you are the only one working..



If I were you I would check with family court in your area, or get legal counsel, because to be honest with you, the Child Support is still going to effect your life and money that comes in your house even married because he still has to pay it, married or not. And may have to face jail time if he doesn't...



So if he doesn't work, or cannot work, this is going to be an issue for this man until the child is 18, and if you marry him, even if legally courts may not be able to make you responsible, it's still going to be a family debt....



Hope you can get the info you need.