Amber - posted on 05/18/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )
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I have a 9 year old step son that I have literally raised since I was 17 (yes, I was a child bride and I would do it all over again because I'm married to a wonderful loving man) His biological "mother" (using the term lightly in regards to her) abandoned them when he was only a few months old and did not even try to come back into their lives until my husband and I started seeing each other romatically (we had known each other for years prior) and then it was only to try to break up our relationship. Even when she ended up in jail, she was still finding ways to harass us. She kidnapped J on his 1st birthday and crossed state lines, then defaulted on custody and luckily we got him back. Then two years ago, she took her expired court papers (the ones she had defaulted on) to the school board and recieved the ok to get him and they even gave her the name of the school. The school did not notify us untill after she had taken him, dropped him from the school and ran off. We scrambled that whole day to locate her and finally my mother talked her into giving him back to us. He had not been fed, washed and had suspicious marks on him. He was very upset saying the crazy lady said she was his mom and that her new baby was his brother. He kept telling me, "she's not my momma, she's not my momma, YOU'RE my momma" thankfully (for us) she ran off to another state when cps came after her new baby for the hardcore drugs in his system. She still tries to contact my husband, but NEVER mentions their son, and tells members of both of their families that I constantly abuse him. I would love to just be able to forget her, but J has gotten old enough to wonder why there are no pictures of me holding him as a new baby or of me being pregnant with him. He also caught a glimpse of his birth certicate and wanted to know why they had put the wrong name for mother on it. I know she will be back at some point and I'm very scared about how this will all affect him when she does. Any tips on how we should explain the situation and how to prepare him for the battle that will surely one day come? I keep subtly (I hope) changing the subject when he asks these questions, but honestly, the boy's not stupid and knows SOMETHING is up. I'm just thankful that he realizes that I'm his mother in all the ways it truly counts, I hope it'll be enough when she returns to spread more of her sickness and poison :(
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