Amber - posted on 10/31/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )
ok my family is blended 2 " baby daddy's" 2 "baby mommas" and one marriage.... ours. well there are 9 kids in the mix of it all! about a year ago we moved our family to a diff state to get away from it all(and other family) and we are loving it! over this past summer we had two of our other children then 7 n 10. my husband was out of town at work so it was just me.... and we didn't have any problems (not unusual ones anyway) at first. the mother rarely called and the kids rarely asked to call her.... then when child-support was cut off, all hell breaks loose! she starts all types of drama cause she knows my hubby is too far away to really help.well we send the kids back to her and just lv it alone.
well now we haven't seen or heard from them in months and i feel bad cause they aren't always in the best situation.....on top of that he has this 5 yr old that he never really new cause he has been unsure if it's his...(and no.. not my idea)but anyway i have a huge issue w/ absent fathers. he is by far not a deadbeat because he has always tried to be there. over the past four years he has always been current in child support and tried to visit w/ the older three kids.but every single visit that does not end w/ extra cash for her ends violence ..broken, windows, fights, police, pfa's etc. even w/ the other 5 yr old we have had domestics w/ her and he hasn't spoken to her in 31/2 yrs!!! i don't really even know what she wants...i don't think she knows.
well in all the mess there are still 4 kids w/o a dad...so i try to talk to him about seeing them (maybe visitation rights) and i think he wants to but he never does. we had an argument cause i felt he didn't stand up for them and he didn't agree. he says that he loves his kids but he has a family that he has to think of. he says that he can't deal w/ the drama or the violence and can't put the kids in our house through it anymore. on top of that he works two jobs and has enough on his plate.
i do understand but i feel that this is y people have to live w/ the choices that they make. I don't want my kids witnessing the drama and I don't want to be part of it(even though everything he does is my fault lol). he is a good dad, he is very hands on despite the two jobs. i hate for his natural children not to benefit. All the kids are innocent, but to force my hand and make him go get some visitation will only bring drama on my house.... i just don't know what to do.