I'm looking for a sweet, loving way to kick my children out.

Michelle - posted on 02/06/2010

I agree . pack everything and change the locks while placing it all on the porch . Hell I would even go as far as to tape an envelope with a bill in it to the top most box ! Charging for room and board from the day they turned 18 !



My mom has dealt with my little brother mooching off her , then being a jerk that she didn't do more for him . He won't get a job and it is always what can she do for him .

Danielle - posted on 02/05/2010

tough love. There is no sweet way to handle this situation, since they don't take you seriously. My children aren't grown, but we recently had to kick out my mother for the same reasons. I know that sounds weird, but it is what it is. I would tell them that you love them, but they are done taking advantage. Good luck. I know it's extra hard with a grandbaby involved.

Glory - posted on 02/05/2010

Being a mom is just tough...people that have little ones have no idea what is coming to them, they don't realize they got it good...ok so this is my advice...you need to know that you are not kicking them out!! they are kicking themselves out....you have given them the option to get a job and contribute or save their money so they can get a place on their own...if they choose not to get a job, then is on them...once you put your foot down and they see mom means business, you'll see a total diffrent outlook!! I have a 21 year son, at the time he was 19. Good kid, honor roll student, I swore this kid was going to go to collegue, WELL I WAS WRONG..after highschool, my husband got him a job delivering pizza (my husband told his friend, the job was only temporary), don't get me wrong he was making good money...then we moved far from his job so I told him he had to find another job closer to home...once the kid was not in collegue, I refused to give him money, and I made him pay his own cell phone bill. Well the days past on and he would get up late, play XBOX all day and stay on the computer until weee hours in the morning ..I HAD A BUM..yet here is my husband going to work,,,That was it!! I told him if he did not get a job, or at least try to find a job he had to find somewhere else to go...IT BROKE MY HEART!! the day came and I told him that was it..he told me he wanted to go back to NY, so I bought him a ticket (not knowin where he was going to stay) and send him on his way..I have family out there so I knew he was going to fugure it out...He moved with my mother, got a job working for the Board of Education, with children with disabilities..Now he is going to register for community collegue and be a teacher...AS LONG AS YOUR CHILDREN KNOW YUR WORDS ARE JUST WORDS, THEY ARE GOING TO ABUSE THE PREVILEGE,,,SEND THEM OUT ON THEIR MERRY WAY, believe me two things are going to happen, either they will find another sucker, or they will be scared and know mom means business, so the will probably ask to come back but this time they will get a job or their ass is OUT!

Veronica - posted on 02/04/2010

Rhoda is right - Im young and my oldest is only 7 - so I havent come to that point in life yet. However - I watched this occur with my mom with two of my younger siblings. I dont understand how they could sit and use her - and how she could sit and enable them, when she is on disability and ssi -- (they are out now finally) If you dont get them out now, give them tough love - too bad! They will continue to disrespect you, and stay right where they are -- you really have to grow a pair and cut the cord (not to sound harsh) - but I am surrounded by some family that enable people, and I just dont get it -- my husband and i work our tails off to provide for our children, home, food, etc. We dont go to others to pamper our asses -- we do what we have to do. It should be no different for anyone else in this world. Besides - they are being selfish - and should respect that you and your husband did your time, and struggles and raised your children etc. - now its time for you to be able to do what you want to do now.

Boot them out - pray for the Holy Spirit to guide them - and they will be alright.

Rhoda - posted on 01/16/2010

You feel bad because it's hard to be tough....your kids are your babies, and always will be. Being a mom of seven, I've had to be tough...gee, you want this or that? better get a job, cuz I'm not paying for it. Some kids need more pushing than others.
Comfort yourself with this, you're loving them better by making them stand on their own two feet.

Teresa - posted on 01/16/2010

I'm gonna have to. To be truthful I've put up with my 21 year old slacking for over four years. She has started and quit everything, I pushed her to begin her life while she was living at home. WORK you can save for a car, down payments for future rent, what ever or SCHOOL get better educated while the economy is bad. Right before Christmas I came to the reality how much time has past and she hasn't helped with one gift for her daughter's x-mas not a gallon of milk but gets $10 a buys herself clothes I'm gonna have to just shove her out of the nest. I thought I showed her hard working, independent, life style. I'll let go now and pray it kicks in. Why do I feel so bad?

Rhoda - posted on 01/15/2010

You pack their stuff, put it on the porch, and change the locks on the doors exactly two weeks from today.

It sounds tough, but if they're old enough to have a baby, they're old enough to either contribute to household expenses or get out.

My oldest is now 17. I have already informed her that once she is out of school, I expect her to contribute or move out...