Is cuddling with my 8 year old son wrong?

[deleted account] ( 14 moms have responded )

My husband (step dad to my son) thinks it is wrong for my son and I to cuddle on the couch while watching a movie?? I am happy to cuddle and cherish the moments because I doubt he will want to "hang out" as much when he gets older. He also seems to think I won't ever love another child the same (if we were to have a child). I think this is crazy and he cannot possibly imagine the love a parent has for her child/children because he doesnt have one. I think he is jealous??

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Stefani - posted on 06/08/2012

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My 8 yr old Son still loves to cuddle with me and hold my hand. My SO ( his step dad) has little tantrums about it too. I constantly remind him where the door is if he doesnt like it :)

Alisha - posted on 08/07/2012

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Not wrong at all! Maybe he wants his cuddle time too? 8 is still a young child, why would he think it's wrong?? Maybe do this when he's not around if he doesn't want to be around it, and cuddle with him during your time with him, is that what he's upset about?

Julie - posted on 07/04/2012

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i cuddled my kids as long as they would let me there is nothing wrong with it and as you say he won't want to hang out with you forever bless him. i was gutted when at the school gate one day my son wouldnt give me a cuddle goodbye as he always did becasue he said he was too big now. he still liked the odd cuddle at home na dnow is 24 this month and still gives me the odd cuddle as he passes. he amkes me laugh when he was drunk once and he shouted to all who would listen that he loves his mam and then gave me a big cuddle. he will even dance with me sometimes. my husband is amazed at the bond we have because he grew up in a family who never showed emotion like that and so i have taught him how to be a nice affectionate father and he now has a good relationship with both his kids but my daughter is still a daddies girl even though i knw she loves her mummy. tell your partner to shut up thers nothing wrong with it he should try it himself sometimes its the best way to relax and watch a movie. as for not loving any other child thats nonsence. the way i see it i have 2 knees and 2 arms and 2 children the perfect combination but if i had had any more then my knee is big enough and if not the sofa is big enough to fit us all on and beleive me i have even had the dog in the mix too

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Crystal - posted on 03/09/2014

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Thank you! My husband told me I shouldn't cuddle my 8 yr old son...and my first instinct told me that my husband was just jealous.

Chaya - posted on 07/10/2012

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Your husband has a geranium in his cranium.
You should hug, cuddle snuggle, whatever works as long as it's appropriate for both of you. He'd probably be uncomfortable with it when he's 12, but touching is affection. It's entirely different than how you'd be affectionate to your husband or parent, but no less important.

Amomentintime - posted on 06/17/2012

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I dont mean to be rude but your hubby is out of touch with his inner child we cuddle with our kids and some are teens..was you hubby neglected as a child??

Dawn - posted on 11/02/2011

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Girl there is nothing wrong at all with the two of you cuddling up together regardless if it is on the couch or on the bedroom watching movies together.
My son is 11 years old and my husband and I both cuddle up with him. We have been together since he was 21 months old and he is "daddy's baby".
We have a total of 5 children between us, 3 are his from a previous marriage and 1 is mine then we have 1 together.
However only 4 of them live with us his middle daughter lives with her mother, and my 11 year old is by far the one that loves to cuddle the most.
Please do not give up that special time you and your son spend together cuddling cause one day he will not want to cuddle any more. "CHARISH IT"

Sharlene - posted on 10/26/2011

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Hi . darls it sound's like his jealous, The bond between mother and chils is precious cherrish every moment with him.LOL I wish my 8 yr old son would do that I take the piss out of him bye kissing him good bye outside school ground so just cherish them darls.Cheers

Denikka - posted on 10/17/2011

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I sure hope that my son still cuddles with me when he's 8!!
My brothers (10yrs and 14yrs now) and my sister (17yrs) STILL cuddle up with my mom a few times a week. Movies were a big thing for them and they'd usually end up in a big puppy pile, all snugged up, on my moms bed.
I see nothing wrong with it unless you are actually taking away from your relationship with your hubby. And by that I mean preferring the company of your son over the company of your husband frequently or something along those lines.

Aimee - posted on 10/12/2011

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my son is 7 years old and comes 4 cuddles with me and his step dad who loves him as much as i do no it is not wrong he is showin you he loves you get them why u can cause when he gets older he wont want them then it hurts u keep givin him your luv girl hope this helps

Shana - posted on 10/01/2011

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yes he is ridiculous. Dont let ANYONE come between you are your son. Hug him love and enjoy him he will be off and running before you know it. I had STEP parents 5.....and they NEVER get it. Even if they are nice and kind etc....it rarely works.

Rochell - posted on 10/01/2011

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Jealousy for sure... Just make sure you make movie cuddling time on the couch with your husband as well :-)) When my husband and I got together, he has a girl and I have 3 boys. His daughter was so jealous of me at first and every moment she could, she would snag her dad away from me. We started doing weekend movie nights and laying blankets down and we would all lay and watch movies together. Once his daugther and I began to do things together, it got better and now we are the best of friends. Her mother has never been around either... so it was hard for me to squeeze my butt into "their" life.

Dee - posted on 09/06/2011

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Hi Kellie:

I can't ever see how cuddling with your 8yo son is anything but the way a parent acts with their child. I'm sorry that your husband has an issue with it. I think you may be right that jealousy is playing a factor here.

Have you considered reading any books together as a couple that are designed for step-parents/blended families? There are books like "7 Habits for Highly Effective Families" that also are great resources. If he won't read them, you can raise an issue from one of the books and ask his opinion. I also would encourage you to think about any local blended family groups, or take time to read more of these blended COM posts.

I don't think that this is an insurmountable issue, but you may need some emotional support to feel that your closeness ( and your husband's distance) to your son is normal. Your husband may also need to just have more time to develop that type of relationship with him. You didn't say how long you have been married, but sometimes it takes a bit to work out these parenting differences with "steps".

Hope this helps! Take a break and give yourself, your husband and your son a hug, You're a good parent!

Dee

User - posted on 09/02/2011

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I have to agree with you.I love it when my 8 yr old son wants to cuddle and spend time with me,as well as the 3 younger kids.I know all to well that as they grow up they pull away.It's hard just trying to get my almost 17 yr old son to even watch tv with me.Enjoy it while you can.

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