Eileen - posted on 08/28/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )
In the last ten years, I've lost five and had four.
Its been a pattern three times I lost one, within the next cycle, concieved again and carried to delivery. Four beautiful children.
Till the last one, last September I lost one, again, early, but still.. it was there one day, then gone the next.
Only this time, my husband was not up to try again., and still isn't. The one we lost wasn't exactly planned.. but, we were happy about it.
Its been a year almost and no baby. no consolation. nothing to fill the void. ease the pain. If anything, its getting worse.
Has anyone lost a pregnancy and healed from it WITHOUT having another? so far everyone i have talked to about it has had the same experience as i did with the first few, try again.
I know the four I have are a blessing, and I pour myself into them everyday, and I am very grateful to have each one of them. Still, I feel so lost and empty, like somone's always missing from the dinner table. The family photo just doesn't look complete.
But, he doesn't understand how my I'm hurting. He is afraid he's too old (nearly 40), that he'll be too old once they all leave home. That it's too tough financially. That It would be too much to deal with five kids at home.. I understand each of his reasons, and I respect them. But still, logic can't take away the hurt.
I know I am not alone in this.. I know others have gone through similar experiences.. how do you get through and get past it, other than having another child?