Jennifer - posted on 04/24/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )
I'm in a blended family situation with my daughter who is almost 5, and my boyfriend who has a 4 year old and a 2 year old, ALL GIRLS
We all moved into a new house together about 6 months ago. We are getting married next year.
My boyfriend is a very devoted loving father and he takes AMAZING care of the girls. He has his girls half of every week and every other weekend, so he sees them as much as he possibly could. He sees my daughter every single night because i have full custody. He puts her to bed if im working (rare), gives her baths, cooks for her, plays with her, attends her games, etc etc. Everything i would expect a father figure to do for a child.
Problem is, my daughter will occasionally call him "dad" or "daddy", not always but enough its causing some issues. His 2 girls are kind of insecure about him living here with my daughter all the time as they are very close to their daddy. They went through a lot with the divorce too. When my daughter calls him that, they both will say "No thats my daddy" or something to that effect. That then starts a fight
Ive discussed this with my boyfriend and he thinks that out of respect for his bond with his daughters and their feelings she should call him something else. Maybe something special (besides just first name) but perhaps not daddy.
My issue with this is that her father only sees her a few times a month for half a day, and he never puts any effort in. So im worried she has issues because she DOES know thats her dad and hes not involved, and then finally she has this man in her life to be like a dad and she cant call him daddy... yet she sees these other two girls calling him daddy.
However i understand there are other feelings to respect and i want no feet stepped on here. Im sure its hard knowing your father is living with another little girl getting his attention
what is the best route to take? ive asked my boyfriend if this changes when we get married and he said he didnt think so, but he supported my idea of posting here to get some feedback from other parents maybe dealing with the same issue
again, he LOVES my daughter and hes not trying to single her out, nor do i think the girls say that to her in a malicious way, i just think this all happened sooner than we expected and we dont know how to handle it