My Step Kids and there CRAZY Mom

Candice - posted on 04/06/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I truly need some advise before I go coo coo. This woman has been making me crazy for the past 8 years and I am at the end of my rope with the whole deal. My step kids used to be so sweet to me and now they act like her and they drive me crazy with the hatefulness, never minding ,smarting off all the time and lack of respect for the younger siblings. CAN SOME ONE PLEASE HELP ME OUT. If so can you respond to candicebeasley@hotmail.com. I am knew to Facebook and I have no clue how to check a response to this posting.
Thanks and God Bless to everyone

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Barby - posted on 04/18/2009

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oh, and other than things like dont hit your brother, stay away from the dicipline, you cant win. and ultimately - what a relief!

Barby - posted on 04/18/2009

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I have been with my guy for 6 years. He was married before and had 2 children waaay before he even met me he left his wife. She has always been way too interested in his personal life and making him account for things that have nothing to do with her. Since Ive been with him she has acted like I took him from her.

She has said that my kids dont matter as long as hers are taken care of and has told her children as much. So when his son was bullying mine there were no consiquences because my husband would get a blast from his x as soon as his son told on daddy.

I had to talk to him about taking care of eachother and not being hurtful but by myself as to not cause a fight witht he "grown-ups"

i figured out that the kids were going home and reporting everything i said and did (we'd been together for 4 -5 years by this point) they were standing on the other side of closed doors and telling their mom what they heard us talking about. then she'd phone my husband demanding to why i was crying or what exactly was said.

Finally when my husband and i had one of our rare arguments his 13 year old called her mother to let her know. the woman decided to call my husband and demanded to know what we were arguing about.

That was it for me. when my guy went to work i went into each of the kids' rooms and had the same conversation twice. they were 12 and 10 by this time.

we layed it all on the line

I told each of them that if they didnt like me that was ok but the way they were treating me and the other children was not. i said i understood that their mom had taught them to behave this way, and that was her unfortunate chioce, but they were now old enough to understand that they were being hurtful, and they could now make their own choices.

i told them that myself and my children had every right to feel comfortable and safe in our home and that included privacy. I said i would not continue to allow this destructive hurtful behavior in my home anymore and if it was to continue, as much as i loved their dad, i would leave him that day.

I said i wanted be with their dad forever and that was too long for me and my children to be uncomfortable in our house, i told them i was nervous when they were there and couldnt wait for them to go not because i didnt like them but because there was always potential for consiquences for my behavior when they reported back to mom.

i was honest and didnt judge their mom for what we knew she had done. i didnt blame the kids for what they had done and told them i understood it was hard to be in that situation.

they both appologised to me on their own accord, which i said i appreciated but was unnecessary. i really dont think they realized they were really affecting the family in a negative way or to the extent.

since that day everything has changed.

the son treats mine like any other kid (instead of a target), its not perfect but now its normal and respectful.

the inevidable sunday night phonecalls have stopped and now the conversations between my husband and his x are more within normal boundaries.

she wont stop being vendictive but a fog has been lifted from our home and i feel 100 lbs lighter

but i guess you have to mean it if you say you will leave, and let them know how this is effecting you and your children. you may have to leave or things will change, but either way you and your family will be better for it.

Ruth - posted on 04/14/2009

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Hi, I'm Ruth and I hear you on that. My step son is just like his mom , and she' s a real B***h. She's always after my husband and now she has her son doing it for her. He's mouthy and he doesn't really care if he hurts his step sisters or not. However I've been told that I should not do all the desaplining. That is father should be doing that and to keep telling him that we love no matter what. Other then that I'm not really sure what to do , but we are seeing a family work for blended families and we'll see how that goes, but for now it's all the same.

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