need help to get chores figured out any advice ?

Dori - posted on 05/13/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have 4 kids and 1 on the way recently getting ful custody of my 2 oldest ages 12 and 8 when with there dad they pretty much had no rules and zilch for chores and lived in a complete pig sty. We have given them small chores my daughter does dishes after dinner but drags it out so it will take her 2 hours and my son sweeps after dinner but constantly have to get on him for it and they both have a bathroom on the weekends which my son does so half assed its almost to the point to why even bother since he'll come and ask me to check and pretty much it looks the same as when he starts i have taken the time to show him what has to be done and i'm not annel about it simple clean toilet,and wipe off counter and sink not hard here . i think they should be able to do more but it get so frustrating when they can even seem to tackle the basics .AAARRRGGGGGG lol any advice on what to do cause really i am so close to just bagging every thing and chucking it i am so tired of having to tell them over and over put this away, dont leave that there. sorry bit of a rant but i do need so advice thx

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Chaya - posted on 07/10/2012

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Decide what a child that age can do, then assign chores accordingly. Point out that if they drag an hours worth of chores to three hours, that's two hours that they don't have to play video games or watch television. If they refuse to do a chore because that's a girls job, or a boys job, tell them that when they have their own place, they're going to have to cook, clean, take the garbage out, etc. reguardles of gender. You may also point out that the best chefs in the world are generally men. You can find other people who break down gender stereotypes. There's a guy in my church who is probably the best knitter I've ever met, you can find people like that.
I give my daugthers allowance based on their needs. My 9 year old plays an oboe, so she gets a bigger allowance than my 17 year old because oboe reeds are expensive. When I get her a reed machine so she can make her own, her allowance will go down, and I'll buy the raw products. I give my children allowance so they can learn to save and spend responsibly, I give them chores so they can grow up and run their own house accordinglyl I do pay them extra for doing chores I should be doing, because I have mobility issues.

Dori - posted on 07/01/2012

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i like your cup idea Chasitidy as that is one of my biggext pet peeves we go through them like crazy i tried the paper cup route and all theat did was make more mess cause then the little ones got them and and pieces would be all over the place clothing wise im thinking of bagging all my older boys clothes and just leaving him a couple pairs of each hes makes a worse mess with his clothes then my girls

Chasitidy - posted on 07/01/2012

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Well I don't know if this is good advice for you or not but I know it will make you smile. We have 9 children ages 13-1. Thank the dear lord above the only time I have all 9 for any extended time is during the summer for 3 mnths. This all began last summer. We dont ask our kids to do chores of any kind. The summers are theirs to do with what they want if they were all here all the time it would be different im sure. Anyway I drove myself crazzy last summer trying to get them to do simple common sense things. Keep in mind they were 13,12,11,10,10,5,4,3, I had the 9th one since then. I asked them to please throw their dirty clothes on the floor in front of the washer after they get out of the shower. Take your plates to the sink or counter at least when you finished eating. If you eat a snack or drink a juice throw the trash in the trash can. And my biggest pet peeve of all pop sickle wrappers. You know the kind you buy and freeze. I used to buy them by the bannana boxes full a thousand at a time. All I asked please dnt throw the wrappers down in the yard when your done with them I even put a trash can next to the deep freeze in the garage for the. I repeatedly made the same requests and always got the same results. I had to fish soaking wet clothes out of the flooded bathroom floor every night. I found my dished in the trash under the furniture or laying in the floor. (MIND YOU THEY EAT AT THE TABLE AT MEAL TIME) I had snack cake wrappers and bug juice bottles from one end of my house to the other and in the yard. And to top the summer off I got a big fat fine from the city because of all the trash in my yard. Yep plastic wrappers. This summer when they all got here they were confused and disappointed. My husband put a shower in the garage for them no more flooded bathroom. I hope they brought enough clothes cause if they r not in front of the washer they dont get washed. We took all the chairs out of the kitchen and i am making them eat mostly finger foods at the counter. The only snacks are celery sticks and they each got a cup with their name on it for water or milk if they dont take it to the sink their gonna get thirsty. The deep freeze is empty of popsickles. And they all have to do lawn duty until they pay me back they money I paid the city for the fine. We are a month and a half into it and they are helping out more than I ever expected.

Lisa - posted on 06/08/2012

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I have 7 children. 14-6. We are blended and large as well!

I just implemented a chore chart about 4 weeks ago. I made it on my computer and place it on fridge every Sunday evening, for the upcoming week.

I simply placed each of their names, and a chore for every weekday.

ex: Andrew: dust wood table in living room

They all do chores after breakfast, I give them the proper cleaning supplies. Each chore takes about 10-20 min. I check them too. You may want to do the chore along side younger ones at first, they will get the hang of it, over time. Make a game out of it, play and clean, play music, dance. It all depends on the child and what motivates them.

If they do their chore.....give them a prize. Ex: 1 piece of candy
Ex: 1 popsicle
Ex: outing to special park, with picnic
My children get money at the end of the week. If they carry on and whine...they lose the money for that day. I tell them they are about to lose that day's chore prize and they usually straighten up. Make sure you follow through with the prize though!

Debbie - posted on 06/01/2012

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I have 12 and 18 year old step-sons that live with their fanther and me full time. The boys have have chores but we have explained, we all have chores. It is part of being a family and everyone pitching in to make the family work well. Children tend to have a different time schedule and level of clean than adults do. I tell my boys exactaly what I want done, how I would like it done, and I give them a time window. If they take a ton of time doing something then I just say the quicker you get it done the quicker you can play your games, chat with friends, watch tv, etc. Once that is said they move faster. I am learning if it takes 2 hours to clean their bathroom then it takes 2 hours. It gets done and they aren't in front of the tv or games. I try to pick my battles, because I don't want a constant battle. I love the boys and they constantly tell me they love me.

Amber - posted on 05/14/2012

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I don't do chores for my kids. I ask them to help out when I need it. As in "could you please take out the garbage?" if I can't get to it. I expect them to pick up after themselves but I don't do "chores"... I have found they are more willing to help when I don't say "you have to do this and that on this day, this day, and that day"...

It works for my kids.

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