Rude or stupid things people say to you when you have a big family

Tonya - posted on 04/24/2009

My family thinks we have a "BIG FAMILY' - and i only have 3 boys (9,7,4) - even so I still get the comments - "trying for a girl? Don't you want a (girl)friend when they grow up" - "wow 3 boys - boys are harder than girls"my comments usually is "If God wanted me to have girls I would have had one in the first 3" even though we haven't offically said no more the rude people dont have to know that. I think my husband secretly wants his own baseball team. :)

Shari - posted on 04/24/2009

Love reading the comments!

We have 6 - 4 boys & 2 girls. I remember a lady asking me when I was pregnant with #3 if I had a blended family or cheated on my hubby (my hubby, #1 & I have dark brown hair, but #2 was blond). Hello? Didn't you take high school biology? I still get asked about the blended family thing a lot, as half our children are brunettes & the other half blonds.

I also had the hospital pediatrician tell me with #6 that I should stop having children because I might possibly bleed to death the next time. I never had bleeding problems with any of my pregnancies, so I pressed him to find out why he would think that. Apparently, he lost his mom that way when she was on her 5th pregnancy, while she delivered twins. He expressed how painful it was for him to grow up without a mother (he was the oldest). I felt badly for him, so just nodded my head in sympathy. However, I won't let his loss affect my decision - why? A mother of one can get killed in a car accident (and probably more likely than death through childbirth), so there's no point worrying about it when there's no medical evidence that this will happen.

One comeback my hubby uses that I love:

"You're crazy having so many children"

"Which one of them do you want me to take back?"

Jasmine - posted on 04/23/2009

I too hear all the normal thing people have. Try explaining this....i have a 11 year old and 10 year old from my first marriage. these two look like my current husband. then we have a three year old little girl who is my husbands from a relationship he had while were seperated for six months. this little girl looks identical to him as well. Then we have a son who is 23 days younger than his little girl and looks a little like him. And last but not least we have a little girl who just turned 2. Everyone always asks "r they all yours?" of course we say yes ...but....then we have a problem....the next questions is " oh twins?...how wonderful" now what can u say to that? we can't say yes cause that is a lie and our kids shouldn't hear that but when we say no they always ask "adopted" "steppeing out?" ect. We would just say they r twins but the biological mother associates with people in town. ahahahahah it is so confusing for me . I can only inagine how it is for the kids

Mary - posted on 04/23/2009

Hi, new here as well. I have 5 children by 3 different fathers...judge me if you want...the youngest is bi-racial and the others are all white. They are now 28,27,25,22, and 19. The three oldest have blessed me with 11 grandchildren in 11 years. I became a grandmother for the first time at 35. And all of my grandchildren are half Mexican. You should see the looks we get when we all go out to dinner. Or a family event looks like a small party.

I have always said that the more children you have, the easier they are to raise. The older ones love to help. They will hold the baby or change diapers while you get dinner ready. My 11 yr old grandson loves to hold his baby sister (8 mos) while he reads or works on the computer, so he is teaching her stuff. Also, the "baby" of a large family tends to be brighter and faster at doing things like walking and talking, because they want to get down and participate.

Angela - posted on 04/20/2009

I am a mother of four boys and one girl so quite frequently we get "so you kept trying until you got that girl..." Honestly no, we wanted a large family and it so happend that we had our four boys first. It really bugs me because they don't know my pregnancy history as far as being pregnant 8 times, and having three miscarriages. Despite having 5 living children, my body does not like being pregnant. I would love to have more, so I think we will adopt!



I also get, "looks like you have your hands full" and I politely respond "no, I want more!"

Tammy - posted on 04/19/2009

What bugs me the most is that people look at you like you must have lost brain cells with each conception, like your IQ lowered with each birth or something.

Tammy - posted on 04/19/2009

to Questie and Amy regarding bruises and kids. i have five boys. 3 out of the house now and 2 still at home but high school aged. when they were little and being "boys" I would tell them that if it wasn't broken or bleeding deal with it! If I hadn't, I would have spent all day dealing with every little boo-boo. I get that docs have to be watchfull but maybe a dose of reality would benefit some of them.

Barby - posted on 04/18/2009

We have 5 altogether. My husband ahd 2 before, I have a son, and we had 2 together. people not only comment on how many we have but apparently feel obligated to say who looks more like which sibling/parent. Nobody stops the think that maybe my oldest boy- the only one with coloring like brad pitt, the others are all shades of brown- never hears how he fits in with the rest. He is the only one that my husband is not biologically responsible for, and whether directly or indirectly, he has to have that pointed out every time we are in public. We are a family in the truest sence of the word. It would be nice if those that feel like they need to comment could think of the feelings of the kids and thier very valid right to feel like they belong to their family if nothing else.

Barby - posted on 04/18/2009

Quoting Margaret:

Incredible. There are no boundaries anymore. The dominant thought is 2 kids is it and any more-you're nuts. We have 8 and when I go out in public it's like being a celebrity, so many questions and many of them rude. I try to be polite. My husband has a comeback for "Why don't you get a TV?" He asks what kind of loser prefers to TV to sex? : )

Thats fantastic!  We have 5 and here that all the time.  We say we finally figured out what causes pregnancy. I also say i just sat beside him and look what happened. But i never feel good about people commenting. it makes me feel like we have to explain ourselves to people we dont even know.

Debbie - posted on 04/17/2009

Hi I'm new and just found this site. I think it is great. My husband and I have 5 children (3 are mine and 2 are his from previous marriages- 2nd marriage for both of us) I usually get the comment wow you must be busy, or my favorite they ask if 2 of the boys are twins (they are actaully 8 days apart) I tell them was born on the 18th and the other on the 26. I've actually had a few ask why the doctor would let me be in labor for that long. lol

Elizabeth - posted on 04/17/2009

I also have six kid's five boy's and one girl. I almost hate going to the store we get looked at like ow wow a circus. some of my comments are they can't all be yours you look to younge to even have one kid. Or my Fav is Why do you have that many kid's. I' try not to be rude back but sometime's you just have to . Also when my twins ( Boy and Girl) were little he was in all blue she was in all pink I got the comment from an older women aw those are some good looking boy's??? I feel your pain lol

Raye - posted on 04/16/2009

Hi, I am a mother of 6. I loved reading the posts! My fav is when I get asked if they are my real kids! LOL my come back is last time I checked they didn't have an off switch, or maybe I didn't read the instructions right? 1 is home made 4 are adopted and one is foster. I love the looks we get when I say we want 4 more! LOL I'm def going to use the "better full then empty" when I get told I have my hands full. Which I hear daily!

Letitia - posted on 04/14/2009

We have five kids and when people ask me if their all mine,I say No.  They're my husbands, too! They always laugh!

Letitia - posted on 04/14/2009

We have five kids and when people ask me if their all mine,I say No.  They're my husbands, too! They always laugh!

Jennifer - posted on 04/13/2009

hi everyone i am new to this site and so far i like  i wanted to comment on this because i think it is true what you all have wrote i was married and has two children we divorced and i met a wonderful man with whom i had another child with not to bad three children but he had 5 other children when we got together so now we are one big happy blended family but the comments people make can be hurtful or mean but  we are happy and the children all get along some of our friends call us the brady bunch but we would have it no other way here's to big families

Taunya - posted on 04/11/2009

I always get "They are not ALL yours...are they?"...RUDE!

Katrina - posted on 04/04/2009

Quoting Sandy:

I know exactly what you mean i have seven kid's and the question i hate the most is do they all have the same Father !!! i mean what is that and then they don't understand when i get upset about it  i mean it'snone of there business anyway and when my husband is standing right next to me makes it even worse he had a shirt made that say's yes there all mine and we own 4 t.v.'s

I know that one and all mine look alike  and lok like their father i say weel they are a spit out of there father but and yes i have a tv in fact we have five a larger one each time i have had a baby

Katrina - posted on 04/04/2009

know how you feel  my family say that iam a professional breader which hurt as i have a hard time having children .other say your ma kettle   be proud you have a happy family  that large

Katrina - posted on 04/04/2009

say  the bigger the better you will never be lonley and your children will always have a friend my children look for each other at school and will alway protect each other.

Katrina - posted on 04/04/2009

Iam happy to say I have 7 and would have been 9 but we lost 2 I can say iam bleesed every day and when people say wow when are you going to stop or dont you think you are having too many i say

i would love 1 more even numbers are so good

or iam going to keep going to I get an ungly one

or  i have to keep going to I get one I like  or when they look this good and are this special i want a 12 or at lest i will get a good old people home ( i want ever be lonely )

or as I siad after my last child I was doing paper work in the hospital and only stoped to push and was back to work within 5 day and baby 5 i was back 2 work on day 2 so I pay my way.

Melissa - posted on 04/03/2009

My husband and I were sitting in a booth with our 4 children when the waitress comes over and says "Wow are all these yours or are you having a sleep over?" Nice ha! I said no these are all ours, yours, mine and ours....

Denise - posted on 04/03/2009

I just wanted to add one in. I have 10 children and TTC.My kids ages are 16,14,11,10,7,5,3,22 month twins and 7 months. I have heard it all but tonight I got a laugh and had to share. I work weekends at Target and sometimes I have to go up and cashier. Tonight I was checking out a couple and they had an older son and they were buying groceries for them and there son. They were checking out and had gotten a US magazine with the octoplets mom on there and they were saying how crazy she was and so on. The man stops and looks at me and say "Honey you shouldn't talk like that you never know this lady might have 8 kids and started laughing". I said " Actually I have 10 children". The laugh went away quickly and started asking how we can afford so many. I told him we manage and do fine. He started trying to figure out how old my oldest will be when my youngest is 18 and said you have quite a few yrs. till they are out of the home. I said actually were not done yet. He said you must be Catholic and I said no. We just like having children. Then he was quiet. I just laughed inside. It's thought it was funny. If I cared what people thought I would have stopped at 2. I hope to have 15 or more. We'll see what Gods plans are.

Denise

Kendra - posted on 04/03/2009

I have had the pretty not so nice comments to. It started when I had four and now we have 7. "Don't you guys have a t.v.?" "What are you going to do to fix that?" " Oh no not another one what are you going to do!!!" We have got the greatest kids People always compliment on our kids but there are those ones, and those people are 99% usually strangers and oblivious that children are a blessing. My thought to people who are for abortion is sure glad your mommy didn't abort you. Sometimes people don't think or don't care! Just bless em' and pray for em'. They are then left to themselves. They will see the light one day. :0) Have a blessed day.

Sandy - posted on 04/03/2009

I know exactly what you mean i have seven kid's and the question i hate the most is do they all have the same Father !!! i mean what is that and then they don't understand when i get upset about it  i mean it'snone of there business anyway and when my husband is standing right next to me makes it even worse he had a shirt made that say's yes there all mine and we own 4 t.v.'s

Lisa - posted on 04/03/2009

I have a large blended family - 5 kids (one adopted, three are "his", one is "mine" and one is "ours"). We get the stupid comments, too, but luckily my hubby has a sense of humor. He always fires back with something funny (non-offensive) and people usually "get it" or at least drop it. I think the best way to deal with people like that is to straight out let them know they are being offensive or if you can come up with something smart & quick, have a witty comeback. As much as I'd love to haul off & clock some of them or be rude right back, I know it won't get me anywhere.



I would definitely agree that there are a lot more people nowadays that have NO filter or tact than there were 20+ years ago. The garbage just falls out of their mouths. Unfortunately it seems to be the world we live in. As much as I try to teach our kids NOT to be that way, they seem to still suffer from "foot-in-mouth" disease at times. I'm not sure what the solution is (if any), but if someone figures it out, please let me know! The only thing I can come up with is to become a hermit & avoid "people" at all costs. LOL

Gillian - posted on 04/02/2009

I have 5 kids all under the age of 9....I am a bit fed up with the quote..."do you not have a tv in your house", Why cant people just say, good for you or something along they lines...I dont see 5 kids as a chore or stress, i see it as a blessing and i cope very well with it....I honestly think the more kids in the house is more easier....Unfortunetly i cant have any more, but if I was given the chance I would maybe have another 3....Good luck to everyone expanding their families, Gillian xx

Nicole - posted on 04/02/2009

hahahhaahah lovely comments... my fav comeback is most people tell my hubby to tie it in a knot one night at a business dinner one of his bosses said that to him and i replied seriously but it doesnt work well when we do that!!!!his boss spit his drink out an d i laughed he never said it again......

Nicole - posted on 04/02/2009

I love all your comments and think sadly to as an aunt who said to me once as I was reading the paper about someone who left a chinese baby on the doorstep of a church( i turned to my hubby and said hun i always wanted a chinese one and he nodded and i said we could fit her in none would notice)the aunt said to me dont you think you have enough on your plate already??i was so hurt i had to leave and we had 7 at the time..she wont talk to me anymore we have nine now and sadly the rest of my family makes fun of us all the time.....i refuse to see them i love my kids and take very good care of them and when people insult them i take offense.....

Leslie - posted on 03/31/2009

Hi, I am also new here.  I have 6 that we have fostered to adopt.  People count us as we walk by and I get the are they all yours comments a lot.  But some of the things that have really bothered me was one time I got the "Are you  Catholic?  Have you stopped to think what it is going to cost to put them in college?"  Or the lady who stopped me at McDonalds just to let me know that she had the good sense to stop at 2.   As they are all close in age, sometimes when people ask if any of them are multiples and I explain that they are 2 adopted sibling groups I have been asked to point out who goes with who.  That is the worst.

My kids are very proud of their family and once while shopping with them all, my son , then age 5 told a lady in the store that "these are my brothers and sisters" she replied "I bet you all have to fight for a bed at night."  He didn't even realize she was slamming him so he just smiled and said, "Oh no we all have our own beds"  I could have slapped her.

Leslie - posted on 03/31/2009

Hi, I am also new here.  I have 6 that we have fostered to adopt.  People count us as we walk by and I get the are they all yours comments a lot.  But some of the things that have really bothered me was one time I got the "Are you  Catholic?  Have you stopped to think what it is going to cost to put them in college?"  Or the lady who stopped me at McDonalds just to let me know that she had the good sense to stop at 2.   As they are all close in age, sometimes when people ask if any of them are multiples and I explain that they are 2 adopted sibling groups I have been asked to point out who goes with who.  That is the worst.

My kids are very proud of their family and once while shopping with them all, my son , then age 5 told a lady in the store that "these are my brothers and sisters" she replied "I bet you all have to fight for a bed at night."  He didn't even realize she was slamming him so he just smiled and said, "Oh no we all have our own beds"  I could have slapped her.

Amy - posted on 03/30/2009

Quoting Amy:

In response to the "How do you afford it?" comment, I read something great the other day: Children aren't expensive...Lifestyles are expensive. I try to remember that one whenever people ask us about our finances. Not that it is their business, but that quiets them pretty well.

I agree I hate when people ask how do you afford it. Its not their business nor their conern. I'm not living off welfare so they shouldnt worry.

Alicia - posted on 03/26/2009

Oh man that is a GREAT ONE!!

Heather - posted on 03/26/2009

Heard a good response the other day -

"Are all those children yours?"

"No, I work for a condom company - these are customer complaints"



Smile!

Alicia - posted on 03/26/2009

Well here is mine that i get sick of hearing from my peers...I'm a 33 year old single mother of 4 i have 2 children by birth and i adopted to little girls (sisters) 3 years ago, but prior to the adoption i was their foster mom for two years. i get "Why would you do that you are still young"? or just when i tell people they will simply say WHY? (some people just do not get sometimes is rewarding to help others in need)

Jody - posted on 03/23/2009

Hello Everyone,

Let me start by saying I have 5.  Three are my husbands and two are mine.  ( They still are all mine).  We get the eyes everytime we go out to eat or go shopping.. People are always saying to us also, How in the world can  you afford all of those mouths. Well this really bothers me to no end. My children are always dressed very well, name brand clothes, and shoes. So tell me how else we could offord it.. WE WORK... HELLO its called a job.

I have been kinda of rude to several of the lady's so to speak.  So the next time someone tell ya'll do you know what cause's all of the children say yes we do, but we have more kids to get more earned income credit, and just watch them walk away.. lol

Sherri - posted on 03/22/2009

I have a good friend who has 8 children.  He likes to tell people that they only plan on having 2.  They just haven't decided yet which 2 they are keeping.  That shuts people up (plus I think it's hilarious). 

I had my tubes tied after our last one (6 wks old) because I have lupus.  Now whenever I tell people that he is our last, they roll their eyes and say things like "oh, sure."   I wish they'd make up their minds.  How irresponsible of me to have so many but they ridicule me when I say we're done.  Which is it already?!

Melissa - posted on 03/22/2009

We have 6.  My husband enjoys when people ask "Don't you know what causes that?"
He always replies " Everyone is good at something."  My pet peeve is people asking me if I got my tubes tied like just because we have a large family my reproductive system suddenly became thier bussiness

Sherri - posted on 03/21/2009

Anytime someone makes a comment, have them come to this forum to see how many people actually have large families.  I like the new shows on TLC? Discovery? that highlight people who really have LARGE families (more than 10).  We have 7 total ( 2-his, 1-mine, 4 together; 17, 12, 11, 6, 4, 20 mo and 6 wks).  We live in a small community where there are quite a few large families from a wide variety of religions (it's not just a Mormon or Catholic thing).  I really hate the comments but I can't imagine living without my brood.  I tell my kids that the are blessed by having so many siblings - there is a better chance that they'll like at list one of them and there are more people to turn to in a crisis.  God bless all of you for having the guts NOT to succumb to peer pressure!

Rhonda - posted on 03/19/2009

I have 7 children, and I too get all types of remarks. How could you afford that?? You do know what causes that?? Are you two getting fixed?? How many more do you want??? It's like it is any of their business. I wish sometimes that they would all grow up, get a life and leave me alone.

Barbara - posted on 03/19/2009

I can SO relate!  We also have 6 children, and pay for them "all by ourselves"!  A waitress once asked us if we were Catholic or Mormon.  When I said "neither, we're Methodist", she said she didn't realize we had "birth control laws too"!  People just don't seem to think before they speak.

Felicia - posted on 03/19/2009

i have 5 and would love to have more but people are so mean i hate the looks

Felicia - posted on 03/19/2009

i have 5 and would love to have more but people are so mean i hate the looks

Felicia - posted on 03/19/2009

i have 5 and would love to have more but people are so mean i hate the looks

Samantha - posted on 03/11/2009

i know where you are coming from Aylesha. i myself had 4 children by the time i was 22 so i can completely understand the stares and comments you must be getting.

Leitia - posted on 03/11/2009

I have just had our 5th child (3 weeks ago) and the comments drive me crazy..."you need a new hobby" "TV broken is it?" "ever heard of contraception?" "you must have been at it like rabbits" etc etc, grr it drives me insane, and the looks we get people stare at us like we are from another planet, how dare they judge us!

Samantha - posted on 03/10/2009

i am new at this and have loved reading everyones comments i live in a small town in victoria australia and my partner and i have 8 children between us.we have 5 living with us all the time and the other 3 come on weekends.It is very common when we go places with all 8 kids for people to stare and point as our children are very similar ages.we have one 13 then 12,11,10,9 then two 8 year olds and a 3 year old. The most common comments we get are "Dont you own a T.V." or "You do know how that happens dont you" i find it funnier than offencive because i myself came from a large blended family i have an older sister and brother a younger brother and 3 step brothers that i grew up with and when i was 15 my father started again so i now have another brother and sister that are around the same age as  my children as i had my first at 16 and that starts a whole other set of comments because my eldest is older by 13 months than his aunty so then you get some real strange looks when you tell people that one

Aylesha - posted on 03/10/2009

hi i just get fed up with some peoples looks, i have four children aged 8,5,4 and newborn, and because i look quite young for my age people look at me as if i have a disease or some thing. i am a young mum of 25.

Rene - posted on 03/09/2009

my favorite thing is to embarass the person who is rude enough to say "are those all yours?"no there givin em away at walmart" it like a game the kids think its funny "how do you take care of so many?""I dont they take turns being locked in the basement" i like to tell them when they say do you know what causes that "well yeah but we didnt have cable for a long time."

Tangi - posted on 03/09/2009

Hello every1.

at the age of 46 soon i always get silly remarks,

havent u had enuff or how can u afford to keep them all,even worse get urself tied.

only thing is i bite back with the answer mind ur own bees wack dont share get ur own, dont get me wrong here i love big family and i always will.

Tina - posted on 03/09/2009

dont you have a tv is really my favourite and children are so expensive as long as you can affford it. people just cannot help but be negative