The Looks We Get!

Jennifer - posted on 06/18/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have 5 children which seems so minimal compared to so many others in this group ;) but I was wondering if anyone else notices the looks and stares from people when you have less than 3 kids!! It really bothers me, and I don't know if it is the close age of my children or perhaps the burst in large family themed reality shows that spikes peoples curiosity, but come on! Maybe people could be a little less obvious when "counting" my children! Any advice or thoughts on this?

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Jennifer - posted on 07/05/2009

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I have 5 kids too!! the comments I get from random strangers can be very annoying when I'm out with all of them !!! one old lady asked me if they were all mine then said I'd done my bit for the population!!!!

grrrr

why???? I have 5 girls and will be having one more to try and get a boy!

its what i was born to do! I work and my husband holds down 2 jobs why cant we live our lives the way we want? with however many children we want

Rachel - posted on 07/03/2009

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We get stares and rude comments all the time. I have 9 adopted and 3 grandchildren that live with me. Taking them out is always entertaining. We now have our outbursts under control but there was a time when my mentally ill children couldn't handle the public and had violent tantrums that forced me to restrain them in the middle of the store for everyone's protection. People call the police on us and say mean things about birth control. I have learned to bring humor to the situation and tell tall tales about our situation when they are rude. We now get lovely comments about how well behaved they are and how beautiful so I am more willing to talk about how we became a family.

Vicki - posted on 07/03/2009

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I have 4 and people always ask me are these ALL yours... yes all 4! Then the little laugh/comment "My you have your have your hands full!" Chuckle chuckle!

Its four, four is not alot. Four is four! Wait till I have alot and then make your comments!

Laurieann - posted on 07/01/2009

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My husband and I are interracially married, and we are the proud parents of 6 kids!!! a combo from 2 previous marriages... getting looked @ comes w/ the territory since day one. But I know what you mean, sometimes I just wish people would just keep walking...

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2009

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I have 5 children too and usually get the looks when we go to a restaurant like we're going to ruin everyone's quiet evening out. I've learned to ignore it because I know that my 5 are much better behaved than 95% of those people gawking. In fact, one evening we were almost finished our dinner when a stranger came up behind me and gave me a hug and told me how well behaved my children were and how pleased she was to see it with such a large family when so many other small families have such difficulties attaining the same.

Some people are just ignorant and that is what their children are learning, One day when we're old and have a house full at the holidays it will be worth all the looks. Especially when you think about those people who raised ignorance and are sitting home alone.

[deleted account]

I have 10, so I get twice as many stares you get(LOL) anyway I have heard the dumbest things, Rude, intrusive, ignorant and hurtful. One afternoon i was walking to the store with my kids and 2 women were staring and counting and talking and counting again and pointing and finally I yelled STOP to the kids and they all stopped and I turned and said to these 2 women "10, there is 10 children-6 boys, 4 girls...10 now you can go about your business and I can take my circus act into the store. Probably not the best approach. But, sometimes a mom can only take so much and it is not like I walk up to people and count 2 children and say something equally stupid like "what only 2 kids, did you just quit trying?"

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2009

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lol alot of people think my oldest Ty is my fiance (stephen child) and that Ray is someone elses because of hair colour i wasnt happy when i heard that but its fine its true the Ty hair colour is closer to steve then rays is ray has blond and steve and ty both have brown im the only red head :(

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2009

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my family is not that big well close but no cigar i have one child of my own then my fiance and i have our son and my fiance has 2 other children to 2 different women we dont get to see his other children as much as wed like. I guess id be one of the people counting your children and thinking wow i struggle with my 2 that women has to be organised i agree with Tammy though with the rules and discipline. my parents had 5 children only the youngest 2 are to my step dads (biological anyways) i have my own father and my older sis and bro have thier own father but my parents house was always well kept and us children knew food would always be on the table and we knew "our rules" like no throwing balls in the house and we knew but didnt listen to"no wrestling in the house" my parents still have problems with that rule the 2 youngest of my siblings are 18 and 19 both still live at home and both wrestle in the kitchen, dining, hallway, entrance, livingroom ext: but lol they have 2 acres to go play fight in ( i get in there 2 im not proud of it but it looks like to much fun to watch) i cant imagion having 5 children all close to the same age my parents kids for example are 38,36, 25, 19 and 18. and lol my fiance children and mine go like so 5,4,3 and 2 (oldest is mathew his mom is Pam, 4 yr old is Ty hes mine to a different man "sperm donater", 3 yr old is joseph hes to Tabatha and the 2 yr old is Ray both my fiance and mine. We get to see \jospeh more then Mathew and it is really cute to watch them play even though we see Joseph a few times a yr the children all know each other well and get along very well and they love when thier dad plays the "mostr or monster "

Missi - posted on 06/19/2009

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i cant imagine the reactions you all get for such large families!! i only have 2 children 1 mine 1 my partners! people dont understrand why me, my partner and our 2 kids have different surnames they just assume i have 2 kids to different dads and neither of them belong to my partner!! it rediculous!! i say good on ya! to all the mums that can have lots!! i would love more but its not realistic we struggle enough as it is financially! i would love to have more but i just cant afford too!!

Teliah - posted on 06/18/2009

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I whole heartedly agree with Tammy and could not have found better words in which to say it:-)

[deleted account]

I think people are just so indoctrinated in PC crap that they cannot IMAGINE someone wanting more than 2 kids. For most people I know, two was really pushing it! In my experience with people who think I'm a nut case, several factors play in:

Moms who work usually can't afford to pay for daycare for more than 2 kids and since most moms work...

Since many people have very liberal views on child rearing they often have children that are out of control so to them having more than two would be like owning a zoo! They don't realize that large families usually have rules and discipline so our kids do not act like maniacs (well, less often anyway and not all at once)

Having a lot of children is, by definition, a very unselfish act. I find that's a word which has lost its meaning and popularity in the last 20 years or so. Children are very "inconvenient" and expensive and most people have "better" things to do with their time and money than having gobs of kids.

Motherhood, particularly AT HOME motherhood has been so completely devalued in our society that many women think it is "below" them to have a houseful of kids who they then have to spend the time raising. They believe (they've told me this to my face with no shame whatsoever) that being at home is a waste of time and that they have better, more productive things to do with their time.



I'm sorry for them! They're missing all the fun. ;-)

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