Alternative Names for Dad and Alternative Names for Mom

Nicole - posted on 04/20/2009 ( 30 moms have responded )

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I'm new to this group (which I'm loving and desperately needed) and I'm hoping that there is someone out there that has some new and fresh ideas for my husband and I.



We have a his, mine, and ours situation. I have an eleven year old son that lives with us from my first marriage. He has an 8 and 7 year old that we have on the weekends from his first marriage and together we have a 3 month old baby girl.



We would love for all of our children to call us by the same names. Obviously his children wouldn't call me mom and my son wouldn't call him dad, so we are looking for some hip new suggestions for alternatives to "mom" & "dad" that all of our children can call us.



We both LOVE this idea but the only problem is......... WE CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially since POP has already been taken by his step-father.



So, if there is anyone out there that has some ideas on other names for dad or other names for mom I would love to hear them.



Thanks

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Cristine - posted on 08/02/2013

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I googled alternative names for mom and dad and found this forum- love it. My hubby and I just adopted 3 older kids. The 10 year old announced on her 2nd day here that they will not call anyone mom or dad because they have a mom and dad (they were taken from the home due to neglect). I consulted with a psychologist who specializes in attachment disorders and he adamantly emphasize the need for children who we "parent" to NOT address us by first names but to use some for of mom and dad (alternates to what they use for their biological parents) as the "title" implies a different level of respect towards all aspects of parenting (private and in public). Would you call your teacher by their first names? Or a police officer or a clergy? Of course not. The psychologist has seen adoptees who were allowed to call their adoptive parents by first names and when they were teens the lack of respect only is enlarged by this. My 2 cents...

Sofia - posted on 02/22/2012

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While I think your idea of having all the children call you and hubby by the same name is very hip and new-age, I'm wondering how the older children who have been calling you mom, and him dad all of their lives, are feelling about this change? If my mom had asked me to not call her mom and call her something else when she remarried ( I was 9) I would have been like "What? I dont think so. " I guess I was a bit of a tough cookie as a kid lol.

So, if the older kids are fine with it, I think it's a great idea.

If they are not warming up to it, then you might need to rethink it.

Grace - posted on 04/29/2009

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My oldest son won't call his step dad, "Dad". Which is fine and I thought about this idea too. We tried to ask him what other stuff he'd like to call him besides his real name, Ben, just because he's so much more than just Ben. But he's just not gonna call him any thing else at this point. He tells all his friends that he's his dad but won't call him Dad. I guess it's just like changing someones name at this point. Hopefully one day he will realize that he deserves to be called his Dad. He's REAL father doesn't deserve that title.

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Erin - posted on 06/08/2014

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Honestly, you should just let the entire name calling process be a natural one for your children. Coming up with names for them to call you is just going to make the entire situation worse. When I was 8, my mom got remarried and asked me to call my step-dad "Dad." My biological father was never in the picture but I can remember the entire situation made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to call my step-dad "Dad" because it felt uncomfortable and then I felt like I was being disrespectful to my mom if I continued to call him by his first name (which is what I was doing until she asked me to call him Dad). So then I went 10 years with not calling him anything and never knowing how to address him. It was awful. Forcing the issue and asking your kids to call a step parent something in particular isn't really what is best for them. Instead, you should tell all of your children that they can call you whatever they want and then honor it. Trust me, not everyone needs the same title to make a family and like Sophia posted- what about your children who have been calling you mom and dad. How do they feel changing your names?

Yolanda - posted on 12/21/2013

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Thanks for the site that gave suggestions for dad in other languages. My 9 year old likes Padre :-)

Lisa - posted on 06/08/2012

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I am mom of 7, blended. I have 3 bio and 4 step-children. We allow the kids to call us whatever they wish. Whatever is comfortable for them. Each child has responded uniquely.

Cyndel - posted on 05/24/2012

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I love Marmy from Little women, and I love Papa, which is what I use for my husband sometimes, "Go to your Papa".

Sophia - posted on 05/21/2012

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In our house, we use either our first names or a choice of two different terms: Family Mom/ Family Dad or Bonus Mom/ Bonus Dad. The kids are comfortable with the titles and so are we. It's refreshing and positive to drop the age-old "step" that was coined too long ago and carries a negative connotation.

[deleted account]

Certainly would ask the children involved what their suggestions are. Do they want to call their step-parents by their first names, a nickname or 'Mum'/'Dad'.



Here's some ideas:

Mum: Ma, Mam, Mum, Mom, Mother, Mummy, Mama

Dad: Pa, Papa.



Think the children and you as step-parents need to find an easy medium, that you are all happy with. Why not make it a fun session and get all the adults and children involved in it and see where it leads. Obviously the final names have to be agreed by all and also children/adults need to be able to use them in public.

Melissa - posted on 08/22/2011

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My three ½ year old started calling my fiance Da-Da David when he moved in with us. Seeing how her biological Father isn't apart of her life anymore, I'm hoping one day she will feel comfortable enough to drop the "David" and just call him Daddy. Maybe one day ;)

Allanya - posted on 05/26/2009

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Quoting Jan:

Have you looked into Mom and Dad in other languages? Here's an article I found: http://www.bonusfamilies.com/articles/in...



What a great site!  Thanks for adding the link, I've saved it to my favourites and will  enjoy having a read of the different articles as time allows.   It also gave me the idea to consider asking my sons to use Matua (pronounced  ma-too-ah) for their step-Dad as it is a word that is used in both his and my ethnic languages.  I am part-Maori and he is Niuean, both Pacific nations, and the word is used to mean father, parents or grandparents.  It would be a perfect fit and shows respect as well as fondness. I hadn't even considered other languages as an alternative as we speak English on a day-to-day basis!  :-D

Allanya - posted on 05/26/2009

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I know how you feel about this! I met my partner 2 years ago, but my kids didn't meet him intil 6 months laster. We only all began living to gether 6 months ago. My kids were 8 and 4 when they met him, and their Dad has always been a present part of their lives so I don't want them to feel someone else is trying to be their Dad. My ex husband was also adamant he didn't want to share that title with another man, and I understand his feelings as I would find it hurtful if they called another woman Mum.

My problem for my partner is he has so many names already! He's from a large Pacific Island family and nicknames are usual, so he is already known to one side of his family by his Niuean name, Toamoana (or variations are used = Toa or Moana). The other side of the family calls him Moan or Shrek, I call him Hun and his given name is actually Jas! Talk about confusing lol.

At the moment the boys just call him Jas, but for me it is impersonal and it feels a little disrespectful as I was raised to called people in authority or from an older generation Mr and Mrs, and would like my kids to have the same values around respect. I of course don't want them to address him so formally, but its not easy finding a balance.

This thread is great as now I will go away and have a discussion with my boys about what they would choose to call him, as I hope that will help to encourage a bit more intimacy and trust for them.

Dyana - posted on 05/26/2009

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Names for Dad: papa, poppie(poppy), dadot, pawpaw
Names for Mom: nonnie (nonny)

Also ask your children what they can come up with... it gets them involved on a personal level and the names would be unique and special to them

[deleted account]

I have five step daughters ages 2-8. The baby calls me Momma or Michele. The others call me Michele. I had a woman in the grocery store hear them calling me Michele and she said, "how disrespectful for them to call you by your name". Now I'm not sure why she felt the need to comment, but how did she know what my relationship with them was? I could have been a baby sitter!

Elizabeth - posted on 05/13/2009

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My daughter was barely talking when my hubby & I started out, and since she rarely ever sees or hears from her biological father, the "dad" word was never used. She came up with his name all on her own = "babe".... that's what she always heard me call him, so I guess she figured that was his name! Now that we have a baby together I know the "dad" thing will definitely come up.... we'll take it as we go I suppose...



Jus tlet your kids decide... they usually know what they want...

Gina - posted on 05/07/2009

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My girls call my husband "JimiDaddy." It sounds so catchy, his own sons have used it sometimes! Maybe something like that? Like, "DaddyBob." IDK...that's a tough one!

Rabaab - posted on 05/04/2009

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Some great names for dad and some other names for mom are: Pappa, mummy , Ammi, Amma, or nonee

[deleted account]

How about just your real names? My daughter calls her step mum 'Trish'. Otherwise here are some good alternatives to dad and alternatives to mom:

Ma and Da or Mamma and Dadda or Ma Nic and Dad - whatever, my daughter calls my current partner 'Steph' short for Stephen and when other kids ask her whether he is her dad, she just says 'No, he's my mum's partner'. We could give you the Aussie Mum and Dad I guess but doesn't really solve your problem. I'm liking Ma and Pa or Da though.

Nicole - posted on 04/21/2009

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Nonee and Poppa are great suggestions... I especially like Nonee. It's very original Thank you..

Cody - posted on 04/20/2009

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I have had foster children who have called me Nonee and my husband Poppa (i see Pop is already taken)...what about a variation of your first names or nicknames? Not sure how formal you want to be but I called my mom by her first name after she remarried...some people think its weird but for me it is actually a very loving way to identify her.

Dyana - posted on 05/26/2009

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Names for Dad: papa, poppie(poppy), dadot, pawpaw
Names for Mom: nonnie (nonny)

Also ask your children what they can come up with... it gets them involved on a personal level and the names would be unique and special to them

Rabaab - posted on 05/04/2009

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Some great names for dad and some other names for mom are: Pappa, mummy , Ammi, Amma, or nonee

[deleted account]

How about just your real names? My daughter calls her step mum 'Trish'. Otherwise here are some good alternatives to dad and alternatives to mom:

Ma and Da or Mamma and Dadda or Ma Nic and Dad - whatever, my daughter calls my current partner 'Steph' short for Stephen and when other kids ask her whether he is her dad, she just says 'No, he's my mum's partner'. We could give you the Aussie Mum and Dad I guess but doesn't really solve your problem. I'm liking Ma and Pa or Da though.

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