What to do when step child is telling lies to bio mom

Ashley - posted on 09/24/2010

ya things have gotten worse i have read a lot of court papers the mother was the one to put boy in supervision judge allowed it it was only suppose to be for a short time till they could get a court date again to deal with allegations anyway things are crazy we will have to wait and see court is posponed now because she has made more allegations have to hire a lawyer to deal with it all let u know how it goes

Ellen - posted on 09/24/2010

Well, something isn't right here. A seven year old cannot supervise visitation with a 2 year old. No judge would order that. I think you need to read the court order and find out the truth here.

Ashley - posted on 09/16/2010

Thank you for your replies she will not send boy anymore and wont tell him were asking for him so now he feels like we have abandoned him all to make him hate us so she has control its so sick anyway we will c if it changes after court but thanks again.

Thuy-Linh - posted on 09/16/2010

Ashley,

First off, you need to calm down. The Good Lord is looking out for you, just try to be patient and live your life the best way possible. As the other mothers said, love both children. They DO NOT have control of who their parents are and what parental examples they have. Show both of the kids the right path in life. You are the example, be strong for them.

As to your boyfriend's step-son, just love him. Have your boyfriend have a man-to-man conversation with him. Ask him what is going on. Ask him how is his life. Ask him what interests him. Children crave love and attention, but they also need boundaries. Your boyfriend needs to set those boundaries. He needs to be firm, but loving to the child. Ask him about the rumors. And then tell him how hurt you both are because of the rumors. DO NOT blame the child. He's lashing out. Find the root of it.

As to court, document everything and live your life to the highest standards possible. See if you guys can find credible, honest witnesses who can vouch for the care and well-being of your children.

And be professional and courteous in court. The way you carry yourself, your body language, says a lot without you even opening your mouth. Don't be aggressive or defensive. Stay calm, cool, and collective and you should be all right. If I were you, (and if you can afford it) I would hire a family lawyer to help out. They know the how the court systems work.

Linda - posted on 09/14/2010

Many biological parents are insecure about the new relationship. Typically you can't do much about this, but love the child, be an example of honesty, be over diligent in being sure EVERYTHING is in order all of the time and document document document. Our ex (my hubby's) did the same thing but we were able to disprove everything. You will have to put in extra effort but that pays off in the long run... The child will grow up and know the difference, my step daughter is 10 and is seeing the differences very clearly lately. It doesn't stop mom from trying but we keep things organized and above board, mom's dishonesty is quickly loosing power on the child.
Best of luck to you....

Anitta - posted on 09/14/2010

are you sure it is the boy lying to his mum or is the mum just saying he said that to try to make things more difficult? reassure the boy that he is as love and as special as his sister and that you enjoy having them both, let him feel safe and let him know that you are there for him if he needs you. good luck in court