Any other Single Moms with special needs children?

EHChgo - posted on 11/03/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I Am a single mom I have been a member since 1999. I always feel strange about not being married but God hasn't put anyone in my life yet. My son is special needs we miss Church often and lately he is really just not wanting to go. I have a hard time getting him up on Sundays (well every day really)

The Church has always been incredible. I recently changed wards. Something happened at the new ward with my son that was a, taken way out of context and b, blow extremely out of proportion - now he does not want to go to the new ward. Nothing I say matters and another young man even wrote to him but still nothing. He wants to go back to the old ward.

Sometimes it seems like people think I don't want to be involved but thats not true, I love Christ and want to be involved, its just never seems to work. My son is autistic and has seizures which have increased lately. I really miss Sunday School. Our old Bishop did have a better understanding of what I go through because his grandson is also special needs.

Feeling Lost.

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Tamara - posted on 11/29/2011

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I was going to offer alot of the same suggestions that Andree did, its hard. Maybe what you can do is since its Christmas time is maybe have a gathering or something for the young men on an off day (when there is no scouts or anything) that way its at your home when you son feels safe and its a fun way for all the boys to do something fun in a relaxed atmosphere maybe make a call to the RS pres and let her know your idea, suggest that it be a relaxed event so they can have fun and talk more as boys vs 'the young mens group' it may help him get to know them on that level then want to go. I don't know it helped my 16 year old who is PTSD and has trust issues with men, Good Luck

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Esther - posted on 03/02/2012

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I'm not single but my husband is not a member. So I feel like I'm single when I'm at church. I too have a child with special needs. My baby is 19 months old and she was born with down syndrome, which caused her to have a heart defect. She fortunately had heart surgery to repair the defect and has healed wonderfully. However, she is still feed by a GI tube. I haven't been able to attend church since her birth. It is difficult I understand how hard it has been for you too. Try not to be discouraged. GOD knows your heart! He knows your trials too. Turn to Heavenly Father for guidance and strength. He will soften the hearts of those listening to the Holy Ghost and they will seek you out. If you can't make it to church that is OK. Study the scriptures when you have a little time. Even if it is just 5 minutes. Read the Ensign. You can view it for free on lds.org. These are ways that you can feed you spirit. I suggest that you ask for a priesthood blessing. It will help. You can call the temple and have your name and your son's name placed on the pray list. Also, you can always invite the missionaries over for a meal and they can provide you with some up lifting message or they are always willing to help with some chores. I hope you find comfort.

EHChgo - posted on 11/09/2011

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Thank you. Yes I think you are right I have to put myself out there more but sometimes I am exhausted. I am very tired even tonight but if I go to bed now I will be up at 3. My son is 14 but does not have the priesthood yet - something has gotten in the way. I can't see it. The Bishop made his way with one of his counselors one evening nd even though my son hid under the blanket he was enjoying the conversation and when they left he said how glad he was that they came. I will just have to try harder on my end. Thanks for the feedback.

Andrée Claire - posted on 11/08/2011

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Hi there!
I am a mum of a special little girl who's only 2.5. My husband is not active, so going to Church just me and my little one can be quite tough. But I know it is where I and her need to be on a Sunday. It sounds like your son is much older - is he a young man? I'd say you need to involve people from the new ward to reach out to your son - a young man has written to him, maybe they could come and visit him, invite him to activities, etc. If your son starts to know the other children, then he may want to come to Church. You may want to seek help from your bishop, visiting sisters or the RS president, and your son's teachers. They may not be as understanding, but give them a chance to get to know you and your son first. Most of the time, people just don't know how to react to special needs kids, and they can feel awkward, even if they want to help, they don't know how. And it's for us parents to educate them so they can be more understanding, and know how to be with our children. Also, what you do in the home with your son, family prayers, family home evenings, scripture study, etc is very important to help him gain his own testimony so he wants to go to Church. Are his seizures preventing him to go to Church - is it a problem for school as well? Maybe it is time for a review by his doctor.
Not sure if you feel any of this is of help to you, but I hope you find a way. And remember, you are not alone, our Heavenly Father loves you and wants to bless you and your family, keep faithful and keep trying. (that's what I need to tell myself every single day!).

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