Having a hard time balancing being a mother and a student HELP!!

Meagan - posted on 06/18/2009

I'm at BYU too and recently had a baby, although I took the semester off. I also lost complete interest in school, but luckily I'm almost done and can finish my classes independent study.
That has to be really hard for you. Maybe sit down and talk to your husband about how you feel, he may just be oblivious. Maybe you should look into a degree that allows you to take classes from home, rather than classes that require you to go to campus. Visiting Teachers can help a little, if only to listen and offer advice.
You're not a bad mother if you don't spend all your time with your baby, but if it's making you feel bad about yourself, maybe you should cut back and only do school part-time, or something along those lines.
Anyways, I feel for you. I hope you figure this out, and in the meantime, I'll pray for you.

Taffany - posted on 06/12/2009

Hi Brittni, Just an idea I do not know about BYU but I do no that going to school and being a full time mom is a lot. I do it. My kids are a lot older then your baby so we do have home work time togeather and I wait till they are in bed to the rest. I take my class's on line right now. I have a son with asbugers so I feel I need to be close to him. I like you do not have the option of just droping him off at grandmas. Maybe check with other sisters in your ward that may be able to help time to time and take her for a few hours so that you can get your done. IT is as Jennifer says importent that you show your baby that no obstical is too big and you can do anything. By compleating your schooling you are setting a great example for your baby. You can do it good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 03/15/2009

Hi, Brittni, I can really feel for you. I had 2 while up at the U (Yes, I'm Utah based, too). It is so hard, I know how you feel. I know your husband is about to go back to school (I read your thing on the Utah Moms community). See if he can take care of your little joy for a few extra minutes while you do homework or while she (ok, I think she's a she) is sleeping, but I can only imagine how tired you are too and need that nap, too. See if there is a neighbor or friend who could take your little one for a couple of hours a week for you to hit the books really hard. I know how hard it is to be away even more, but it will help you study. If she is really good, depending on your teacher, you might try what I did, I was able to take my oldest in a tummy pack to a couple of my classes, especially one night class when my husband had class, too, and he would just sleep while I took notes. He was a bit older, so I don't know if that would work, but it also gives you some of the bonding time. Don't think of it as neglecting your role as mother as you finish school. It is important to show your baby when they are older that you can make a commitment as important as education and follow through. It does get easier and, believe it or not, there are lots of other fun stages of development ahead of you that you won't miss because of school. The Brotheren have told us that education is important. You sound like you are on the downhill slide, just tough it out, it will be worth it. My son, now 18, is getting ready for his mission and looking forward to school as soon as he gets home, and my daughter, 16, is already talking about what she is going to major in not if she is going to go because mom went and got her BS and part of her Masters.

YOU CAN DO IT. It will be hard, but you can do it. As she gets older, it will get easier, you will both get in a bit of a routine. And just think, when I was pregnant with my second and working on my masters, husband in school and both of us working, they called him into the elders quararm presidency and me as relief society president. YOU CAN DO IT!! You'll be blessed for it, too.