My daughter and her tantrums; HELP.....

Dawn - posted on 04/21/2009

I don't claim to have good advice, but.....my daughter when she was three , she had horrible moments too. Hers were mostly because of stress. I was going through a devorce, her dad was pretty violent, so it was a learned behavior. I tried the time out on the wall for a while... she would bang her head into the wall, throw herself on the floor and continuosly bang her head against the floor. I found that putting her in a room (not necessarly her room) that way the screaming is not effecting you. Sooner or later she will relize that. Sometimes primary songs in the backround helps. Some would think of that as a bit of reward...but if there is that much rage in a child a little reminder that they are a child of God can't hurt them. I know it helped my little girl to calm down and tell me what made her so upset in the first place. The most important thing is you tell her how much you love her, but I don't think I need to tell you that. Good luck on your journey.

Wendy - posted on 04/08/2009

Wow!  The second of my five childred had anger issues. He would always blame any htin that happened even if it was his fault on someone or something else.  He would get really mad.  The thing that worked for m e was to tell him he needed to go to his room and calm down.  i would then go up in a few minutes so we could talk.  He alway held all of his feelings in. didn't want to talk about them.  He would usually tell me to leave.  I would go and hold him in my lap and tell him that I loved him.  He would usually fight it but I would just hold on and tell him why I loved  him and other good things about him.  After a few min. he would completely relax and then we could talk about things.  He would then be able to tell be how he felt, what made him mad or why he dissobeyed.  We would talk about anger.  I would tell him that feeling anger is ok.  Heavenly Father gave us feelings and anger was one of them, but there are good and bad ways to show anger.  We would come up with a list of lo ways to show anger. If a punishment was needed then he would give me ideas on what he though were good.  His were always worse than mine.  He is an adult now and handles things well.  When he gets angy now he lets himself calm down then he can talk about it.  We also talked about how everything we do has a consequence.  I would name a good or bad choice and he would tell me what the good or bad consequence would be.  sometimes before he made a choice I would remind him that his choice would have a consequence and that he had the ability to choose if it would be a good one or a bad one.  When he realized how much controll he had over his consequences he usually went for the good one.  I hope this gives you some ideas.  Good luck!

Whitney - posted on 02/17/2009

I can the utmost empathy for you. I found myself with concerns of my three year old, and his doctor also said it was his age. I finally looked through the approved providers under my insurance and founda  pediatric behavioral therapist. They had us come in for a consultation and reccommended some options and other resources that I was not aware of. It sounds to me like you are doing as much as you can, and you need help so you can be there as much for your daughter as you can for your son. I would reccommend finding a beahvioral therapist under your insurance.

Gina - posted on 02/14/2009

I am just curious if this started after your second baby was born? My first child, a son, was such a good baby and toddler until I had my daughter. Then he changed drastically, and was naughty all the time. I think he couldn't handle not having all of my attention. He really didn't outgrow it, now that he's older he's getting a lot better, but he does not get along with his sister at all. He is almost 11 now, so hopefully he will get a long with her better in the future.

I also have a 4 year old son, and he kind of acts like your daughter. He absolutely hates church, and wearing church clothes. He screams so loud that it caused ringing in my ears for a while!  Kids are just a challenge sometimes, it really makes you realize what heavenly father must go through!

Emily - posted on 02/10/2009

www.loveandlogic.com I promise you from one mother to another these ways to raise your children will save your life. I am a mother of 4 and my life "mother hood" has become so much easier because of these Cd's, books, dvds

User - posted on 02/05/2009

thankyou; when she is on time-out i tell her i will start the timer when she is ready to sit quietly... if she starts to scream again or get off i put her back on and restart the timer... I am a second oldest of eight kids and i have babysat allot on my days; i've never seen a baby or child act the way she does... i have talked to the doctor he just tells me it's her age. but she has been this way since she popped out! always screaming and demanding to get her own way... then when i had my son and he actually slept and was quiet most of the time i was in amazement! I love my daughter so much; it scares me when she gets like that. someone gave me the idea of using a anger box wit plato and bubbles and balloons so she can focus her anger into squeezign it out with plato, or blowing it out with the bubble breathing or blowing up a ballloon. those are such good ideas but if she does a stop touch and is screaming i don't want to reward her by letting her play with those things... if that makes any sense. so i don't know:(

Emily - posted on 02/04/2009

Wow, I'm sorry you're going through this! It sounds like you are doing everything right - being consistent, not giving in, ignoring the bad attitude and using time-outs. If she's always been this way - have you talked to her dr about it? Maybe there's something else medically that's affecting her. I have a 4 yr old (I know every child is different) and he's pretty much over the terrible twos - which hit when he was 3! Do you let her off timeout while she's screaming? My boy has a 4 minute timeout - which means 4 calm minutes. If he's still screaming after the first 4 I remind him that he has to stay in timeout until he can calm down and be quiet for 4 minutes - then I remind him at 4 minute intervals till it happens.