why dosent my daughter like my new Girlfriend?

Sara - posted on 07/25/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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i moved in with my girlfriend (the love of my life still today)when my daughter was just at a year old. she left me just this past February... My daughter is now 6 and I have recently met a woman and I like her a lot! we dont live together but she does come over a lot. the last few weeks when she has been over my daughter has gone to her room and not said anything to her at all. i broke down and asked her whats wrong, she told me she dosent like my her.... what can i do about this? i really do like this girl but i dont want my daughter to be upset either...

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JuLeah - posted on 08/23/2011

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Your daughter is frightened of getting hurt/left again. She feels loyal to the other woman and feels like she would be doing a bad thing to like this new person, she is frightened this new person will take you from her or be more important to you then she is ... I could go on and on ... go very very slow. No sleep overs while your daughter is there.

Have them spend time alone doing something fun.

If you really like this woman and she is a good fit for your family she will agree with you to go as slow as needed

You also need to find out what kind of a parent she will be and if she can parent, if she can't it will never work

Make sure you spend time with your daughter without this woman there

But, if you don't think this relationship will be long term (I mean many years) don't even bother with having her meet your child ... my daughter has not met most of the woman I have dated. I need to be very very sure before I bring her into the picture, and then will do so very verly slowly

Beth - posted on 08/14/2011

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Your daughter has had you for all her needs full-time all her life, and now she has to share you! You have been there for her when she is sick, hurt, need comfort and all of it- and you still are- but she doesn't see it that way. It;s like her sharing her favorite toy- "Here, you play with my best toy for awhile, I love it and want to play with it myself but you take it." It doesn't work that way.

Denise - posted on 08/10/2011

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Go slow. Your daughter may see her as a threat to your relationship with her. Suddenly you have this other person around, you are paying attention to her, when before it was you and your dtr. She had all your attention. Do fun things together just the two of you and also the three of you. Make sure your dtr is getting your attention, but you cannot let her decide on your relationships.
My dtrs took to my partner quite quickly, but the oldest girl still really resents her dad's wife. This woman has always been perfectly nice to her, but for some reason my dtr always refused to accept her. I still have no idea why.

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