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Am I responsible for your child ?

Theresa - posted on 10/07/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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For those of you who don't know, I am a child care provider. For over 3 years I have been caring for children in my home. My clients have ranged in age from 1 year-9 years old. At one point I was going to expand my home day care to a day care center, but because of the economy, I will be closing August of 2010.



Anyway, my eldest child turned 6 years old this past September. On his birthday, his first tooth became loose! He was sooo excited! We talked about where we would keep his first tooth after it fell out and what 'treat" he could buy for reaching that milestone. Two of my clients parents had a fit! They are very upset with me! They said that my son told their children that the "tooth fairy" wasn't real, just like "Santa Claus" and the 'Easter Bunny' wasn't real. They said their children were "traumatized" because of what my son told them. They said I was irresonsible in telling my child that information, knowing that he might tell their children.



I apologized to them. BUT I told them that I can't be responsible for what my child says to their children and I certainly wasn't going to lie to MY child in order to reinforce what lie or story they chose to tell THEIR children. They didn't mind when my son was helping their kids learn to read or count, but now he is a problem! I find them to be hypocritical and unrealistic. We don't shove our beliefs down anyone's throat, but I'm not going to participate in certain charades. What do you think?

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JL - posted on 10/07/2009

3,635

48

Well, I second Sara....good for you for keeping your ground. As a parent I am under no delusion about this stuff I know that at some point somewhere..whether at daycare, a friends house, school or at the playground my child is going encounter another child or even an adult who will tell them Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are not real. I will not freak out about it in fact I will use the opprotunity to sit down and explain the reality versus the spirit of these things.



Honestly in my house we have not been that big on the whole tooth fairy thing. My daughter knows about the tooth fairy stories but she is more aware of the idea that she will get money in exchange for a lost tooth because they whole idea that some stranger comes into her room at night while she sleeps really bothers her so we don't encourage the tooth fairy stories.



With Santa Claus we bought her a book that talks about how Christmas is celebrated around the world and it talks about how each country regards the "santa claus" figure. We thought that if we establish a foundation of her understanding the different aspects and the various stories she will understand when she is finally told he is not real the spirit behind the idea of the "santa claus" figure.



I would have done the same as you. It is not your job to uphold their believes and control all the other children's believes in order to not upset them.

Sara - posted on 10/07/2009

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Good for you for standing up for yourself and not taking responsibility for that. If parents want to propagate a stupid lie like the tooth fairy, santa and the easter bunny that's fine, but they should be prepared for their child to hear things like "Santa's not real" someplace. Jeez.

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