Why am I so angry at everyone else?

Jennifer - posted on 10/08/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband and I just suffered a miscarriage this September, the day after my son's second birthday. After trying for almost a year for another baby this loss has been just devastating for me. I knew after an ER visit I was going to miscarriage ( although no one there would tell me that, just that my dates might be off and it may be too early to see anything). I was bleeding pretty badly and have charted my cycles and temps for over a year I knew I was seven weeks. No one told me what to expect. I though I would just feel like I had a bad period. I went to work , I'm a 4th grade teacher. I miscarried at work. I just left work and managed to keep it to myself. Although I face constant questions of when am I going to have another and have more pregnant friends than not. My sister-in -law having another has been unbearable for me. She was not planning to have a second child, it just happened. She is having a girl, the first girl in the fam. Oh how I obsess about a girl. She has trouble with just about everything and has a very rocky marriage. The baby was born three weeks after mine died. I was able to escape going to see her at the hospital. My in-laws know about my miscarriage, but are so happy and talk about their little girl constantly, send me pictures and make me look at little dresses. I hurt so bad, I don't ever want to meet my niece. My sister-in-law and I don't have much of a relationship, but other than her mom I'm all she has. I know I'm selfish, but I hate what happened and can't stop asking why me and not all these dam happy people around me. Will I ever stop being so angry and bitter? What so I do about my new niece?

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Bella - posted on 03/09/2015

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After a miscarriage, making the decision to try for another pregnancy can be difficult. It is natural to want to become pregnant again right away after going through the heartache of losing a baby. However, you should wait to attempt again until you are physically, as well as emotionally ready. You may want to check the http://pregnancyhours.com site for information on trying to conceive after miscarriage, there’s lots of very useful information like how to boost your chances of getting pregnant, what you should and shouldn't do, what kind of food that actually boost your fertility, how to have a healthy pregnancy and so much more.

Veronica - posted on 10/30/2012

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One of my closest friends is pregnant now, and she is due about a week before I was. I lost my little girl on July 27th at almost 9 weeks. I don't want to take away the joy she has with her pregnancy, so I didn't tell her I was pregnant at all (I only knew a week and a half before I lost her), let alone tell her about my loss. Reading your post makes me wonder how I will feel when her little boy is born in February. Maybe we can get through this together?

This was my third miscarriage, so I understand the frustration, anger, jealousy, and crippling sadness all too well. I felt exactly how you feel now, back in 2008 when my nephew was born (I was due 3 months after he was born). I told my sister about it a few months after he was born. I couldn't bring myself to tell her any sooner. I had the help of a therapist before that. Honestly, just talking about it to a neutral but sympathetic third party was what really helped me keep it together. Have you looked into that?

If you ever want to talk, I'm here.

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