My life is upside down because of my son's ODD.. need support

Samantha - posted on 11/08/2011 ( no moms have responded yet )

I am a single mom to three kiddos. I have a 14 y.o. daughter, 13 y.o son and 9 y.o. son. All of them have attention deficit and my 13 y.o. has ODD/ADHD. I was unable to find a local support group so I am happy to see there is at least something online. I have been struggling with my son's defiance and behavior since preschool, but didn't know at the time that this is what I was dealing with. I just found out the beginning of this year he is actually ODD. I am so sad,frustrated and lonely, no one really understands how much work a parent puts into this type of child and always have judgement or criticism. I just had a very stressful last few weeks because my son was almost kicked out of school due to his reactions to teachers and they are going crazy not knowing how to deal with him. I felt like all they wanted to do was get him kicked out and not help, so I had to cause a little trouble to get some help from them by asking for a 504 plan. I now the least favorite parent at the school right now :( but he still needs his education. I don't know sometimes what to do when he is arguing, yelling, name calling because sometimes he will take the consequence like it was no big deal just to win the battle.



Things are the same at home. I live with my mom,sister and my mom's boyfriend. I am always being told by my family how I am not doing what I need to do to get him to act right. I just need to put my foot down and be consistent and he will start acting better. He has already punched holes in doors in my mom's home and yells at all the adults. His siblings get the brunt of his frustrations and I feel like I am ready for the insane asylum!! He gets into really strong arguments with my mother's boyfriend and has actually slapped him and stuff. OMG I am living in a tornado of problems right now. I love my son very much and have a good amount of patience, but I think I am the only one in this world that can handle him. My heart bleeds for how people reject him and don't like him and behave as though its a reflection of my parenting. He just annoys other people so bad and his teachers and family are burnt out. I am lost I don't know what else to do. I give him consequences and talk to him when he is calm to explain other choices he can make to solve problems. I feel guilty for saying this but I am actually always trying to keep him calm because I don't want to deal with his angry outbursts, so I let him play lots and lots of xbox. Just feel alone with this are there any other parents out there going through this?