Need some support.

Theresa - posted on 07/15/2012

Vanessa, sorry to hear you are going through this. My ex husband married a very good friend of mine. I know it is twice as hard feeling the betrayal from both of them. I have been friends and next door neighbors since grade school. She was in my wedding. I would vent to her about how he broke my heart then she turns around and does the same thing. It is very hard to accept. Hang in there. As someone else posted there are nice people out there and time will heal. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulde. Maybe some counseling to help get through it, but even without counseling you will be ok.....hang in there

Courtney - posted on 06/28/2012

I don't know how I would feel in your situation but I do know what it feels like to feel abandoned and left with the responsibility of raising your children alone. That was me at one point. I'm still not sure why he left or what his intentions were at the time but we are now together and worked through it. Some women would say its not worth it but at the same time when you have kids and you still love that person, your heart will not let you let go. Seeing him also hurt me and we left so many words upspoken. I always wondered how things may have been if one of us would just speak up! (without arguing).



I know in your situation, 11 years is a long marriage to give up on but you have to find it within yourself to know that you are worth more than to be an option to someone else. With time, things did get better for me and I decided to work on myself and my self esteem before working on us. For you, I think you should move on only because the damage is done. I always felt it wasn't like he just hurt me but also our daughter because I'm sure she felt the tension and felt me hurting. Guys do regret things after time but you can't make it easy for him and show him that you are hurting. You're a strong mother! And you have a lot to look forward to so focus on that and your kids.

Bettina - posted on 06/17/2012

Hi Vanessa, I know It's easier said then done but time heals all wounds and you WILL heal but it all depends how soon you want to move on. I am a straight shooter when it comes to situations like this because I too have been cheated on over and over with the same guy in the past and let me tell you it does get better and you WILL find a MAN that will respect you because I am now married to a great guy who is not the father of my children and he amazing, not perfect but much better then my children's father . I was single for aloooong time focusing on myself and education so that I could provide for my children and now I have a great career with a man not a boy! You have two beautiful children that need their mom so if needed of course cry and let out what needs to be then dust yourself off and move on. There is no need to try and sit around wondering what if or maybe I should have, he made his decision, now you need to evaluate your life and move on to bigger and better things. The tables always turn (trust me) there are so many rules in life and your husband broke one of the most sacred ones there are so please don't beat yourself up over it. Remember "guys" are idiots not "Men". You will get better I can guarantee that :)

Cindy - posted on 06/03/2012

I am really sorry to hear about what you are going through. I am sure it is very hard for you, but it really sounds like you have your children's best interest in mind by staying civil. I am sure it will be a difficult journey but no woman deserves that. Find a great support system, take care of yourself, and know that with time it will get better.

Mindy - posted on 06/01/2012

I don't understand why some men don't appreciate what they have. He will regret it if he did that to you he will do it to her too. I would suggest to try your best not to see him for a while. If he comes to pick up your kids then let someone else give them to him a friend or someone else. You need to heal. Also value yourself!!! Your a lot more worth. Be happy cherish yourself get glamour up and keep your head always up. He will see that what he lost was unreplacable. I wish you the best

Roxana - posted on 05/30/2012

It's really bad your situation, I can't imagine how you feel but at least you know now about 2 persons that don't deserve more tears from you. Life goes around. Smile for your kids, teach them respect and you are going to make good people.