The Expectations of a Latina mother and housewife.

Magaly - posted on 08/06/2009 ( 53 moms have responded )

42

32

2

I think as a Latina mother, traditionally, we are brought up to be "super" moms and dedicated wives. The family pressure to keep a clean home, raise well-mannered children (minus the dirt uunder the fingernails) and be fabulous cooks can be a little overwhelming. I've been blessed with a mother who is not overbearing with criticism, but til this day she has yet to eat a meal i cook, cuz well, she's the cook of the family. I'm raising 3 beautiful girls, and although I want to pass down certain family traditions (like making coquito & pasteles for xmas) i certainly dont want them to feel like i wouldnt enjoy a meal in their home.

And its a whole other story sharing parenthood with a Latino...lol



I started my "Organized Chaos" community to unite women in the struggle for order in their home. (FEEL FREE TO JOIN!) But i'm curious to hear the challenges that Latina women specifically face. Please share :)

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Suhey Marina - posted on 08/07/2009

4

42

1

Megaly you are so right on the pressure to be super mom and super wife.

I too was brought up in a home where tradition of cooking was very important to master and pass along future generations. I have only one healthy baby boy (11 months) and I don't cook for my husband as I should. I have a 3 story house 2 dogs (husky & chihuahua) and 2 cats. My day is consumed with cleaning and tending to my little boy with very little time for myself let alone have time to cook aroz habichuela and carne (did I spell that right?). My husband works in construction and has to commute every day about 90 minutes each way. His line of work is not easy and I would love for him to come home to a hot plate evry night but it is just not possible. He puts little effort in helping out with the baby ...I have to tell him to do this or that..instead of him initiating it.

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I get very irritable that I don't get a chance to pamper myself as every woman needs to. Things like shaving my legs or washing my hair or just even reading a magazine of some sort. Sometimes it drives me insane.

Then my husband expects to find me glamorous every day... I laugh. I'm still laughing.

Julie - posted on 06/26/2010

103

8

23

LATINA MOMMY ALERT!!!!! i say this not to judge,but to share what i have learned and believe to be sooo true.we woman DO NOT pick our (significate other) they choose us.the women before us that they(so-call) didn't love.are truly woman that they saw signs of NOT being at thier every beck and call.and tooo much woman for them.as for us the "choosen one".we showed all the signs of doing as we are "expected" to do.and here we are.playing "supermom." i learned this at a womens group with professional therapist.guys know what they are looking for.and we "THINK"we found what we were looking for.with in time.that night and shining armour is gone and will never come back.generaly speaking.not every situation.but of course.we think our is the ecception.i'm not going to play that (stuggling) role for his benefit.i'm worth much more than that,even he doen't think so.POWER UP MAMI LATINAS.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

53 Comments

View replies by

Karina - posted on 03/06/2013

13

0

0

Hi ladies!! I totally agree with all of you. Suhey you and I are on the same page! I was also raised to be a "good wife" by cooking, keeping a clean home and attending my husband. Well I have a 8 month old baby boy and now that he is moving around i see that is becoming more difficult and frustrating to keep clean, tending my son and cooking. My son is a very active baby and doesn't like to sit in one place for a long period of time while mommy cleans or cooks. My husband also drives the whole day doing sales, I try my very best to have a hot plate ready for him. Its becoming more difficult but I manage. I do feel guilty when he comes home and there is toys all over the place and of course no looking glamorous for him. The easiest thing that is to put on some eye make up has become the hardest. So sometimes i wish my husband would be more understanding and a little more helpful but i guess they think they have the hard part. And then he tries to under estimate me that i can't do things on my own! Plz....once we have a child we realize that we had the SUPER MOM inside of us and we didn't even know it!!! Good luck to all!!!

Shantelle - posted on 03/03/2013

17

7

3

You definitely hit the nail on the head with the pressure thing. Im 27. I have 2 children. A 6 y/o girl and a 1y/o son. Im recently married Sept. My mom is from Dominican Republic and made sure to teach me how im "SUPPOSE" to do it as a Latin women. Ive been cooking since I was 10-11 year old. My mom made it a point to teaching me how to cook and clean and when I was older her and my abuela made sure I knew the things your suppose to do when your married. Now I feel like im a well trained Hispanic women because my mom made it second nature, lol. To always have a clean house (that's tough), clean well behaved kids(that's easier), and make sure that my family is always well fed and my husband is always happy. I deff wouldn't trade my gig for anything and im also happy to say that my mother has eaten my food, even though I know half the time shes a skeptic. I started a little notebook that I write down recipes the family likes and I told my daughter she could have it when shes older and then add her own stuff the bigger she gets then give it to her kids. To me its good to make sure that my kids get some aspect of their latin side in there somewhere especially since I cant teach them Spanish.

Irmarie - posted on 01/12/2013

12

0

0

It saddens me to say, i failed and couldnt keep up. I love to cook and care for my kids but with my fulltime job and the house and kids i just couldnt find time for intimacy. Sometimes i cant gain the energy to keep the house spick and span. I feel like a failiar! Am i ever gonna be a latino super women that can keep her man, and kids and house up to date? La soledad se a convertido en mi mejor amiga..... any suggestions

Isolina - posted on 01/03/2013

16

0

0

It is definitely hard to be the super mom, so I know that sharing any tips are so helpful! I found that Nutress Hair products definitely helped cut down some of the challenges of doing my nene's hair. I hope that I can help someone else by sharing!

Tatiana - posted on 07/06/2010

1

17

0

Great post! I am a Latina mom too. I am from Brazil and I live in Miami, FL. Join the mami and me fan club we have a website dedicated to latina mamis www.mamiandme.com
I would love to join your community too. Is it www.organizedchaos.com?
Tatiana Da Silva

Julie - posted on 06/24/2010

103

8

23

girl,your expected to be supermom.because you don't expect or let your hubby know.your NOT supermom and y'all can do the family thing together.i did the supermom thing.when i was tired ,frustrated and srtessed out.i could only blame MYSELF for letting him NOT get involved.and like all guys.he didn't want ot get involved.but like i got stressed,i STRESSED he HAD to participate in our family routine.when i sit down,you sit down.womens work is never done,and thier work is never done either.now that's fair.and if a man can't do that with you.he does not have your best interest at heart.only his own.

Suhey Marina - posted on 06/22/2010

4

42

1

All the stories have been quite interesting. It's good to know there is a place we can vent.

Karima - posted on 12/07/2009

46

14

6

hey ladies , well im not hispanic but i have been with latinos since i was 15 so i wasnt brought up like that but i see all the mexican freinds i have and i try my best to be a typical latina housewife i clean all day take care of the kids and make my man dinner i even make hand made tortillas for him i just feel like a latino home has more of a family feeling i just want my kids to grow up well in the latino way since i didnt have that but its hard cuz my husbands family isnt here so im kinda just doing what i see other woman doing

Daysha - posted on 11/29/2009

10

28

0

finally i can vent about my frustrations.lol.my father is first generation mexican american and my mother is"white".well my parents divorced when i was a baby so i was raised in 2 seperate households.i had my "white"family and i had my "mexican family.my father wasnt around all that much so i was basically raised my my step dad who also was"white".my mexican grandma never really taught us grandkids the hispanic culture or traditions.i mean we knew what a quincenera was and e few other things like that.she always cooked traditional mexican food but never taught us.she hates people in her kitchen.now that im out on my own i hate it.my husband is salvadorena and he was born and raised there.he is jsut starting to learn english and im starting to learn spanish.very difficult to comunicate.well when i traveled to el salvador for the first time i tried to help his mother cook and do things around the house so i could learn that culture and see where my husband came from and so i can pass it to my daughter.my husband also expects me to keep the house shining baby clean ME clean food cooked and to work a full time job.oh and dont forget the sex.when he wants it it doesnt matter how tired i am or how late it is.if i dont give it up we fight all night.LITERALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenny - posted on 11/28/2009

11

15

0

Hi ladies.. Im not latina but my boyfriend and his family are dominican.. and I can not say i was raised in a latin home but italian and there really isnt much difference.. My mother in law is always telling me i need to learn how to cook for her son, and I am the one who has to be able to take care of the house and clean up after everyone, Its insane and Ive tred to explain how the responsibilities should be split.. and she is so not trying to hear me. It drives me crazy as if taking care of all the finances and a 4 month old and cleaning the house isnt enough!!

I so understand what you are saying. My husband is your typical black male and was raised different. I am a Latina woman who believes the house chores should be shared. Being a husband and father means allot more than just going out and putting in your eight hours at work and whatever overtime you can get. It also means coming home and helping with the baby and the household chores. My marriage is on shaky ground because this is something that I refuse to back down from.

Nora - posted on 11/28/2009

8

10

2

Quoting Claudia:

I am a latina mom with 3 kids. I was raised by an obsessively clean and religious, bi polar, single Latin mother. She didn't teach us how to cook and criticized our housework, always correcting it herself. So I grow up, and I find it turns out I am the opposite of my mom, in every way. I had to learn how not to beat myself and feel guilty when I don't measure up. I realize now I lived with a very ill person, and sometimes her expectations are a little high for a person that is not obsessed with neatness and organization. I've had to learn accept me and care about myself, just as I am. Not every household is the same. Needless to say, I didn't marry a Latin Male, it could never work out....I don't cook well. I avoid my cultural dishes often..cause I'll get chunky or try to cook an alternative. I can't keep up with the mess of very messy 3 and 5 year olds. The laundry is constantly taunting me. But guess what? I still like to take time to go out with my family, work out, nap or read a book. I am a mother, not a martyr...and that just doesn't fly with a traditional Latin man.



I completely agree!

Nora - posted on 11/28/2009

8

10

2

please dont get me started!
I am expected to stay with my husband no matter what,if he cheats on me its my fault because i didnt "take care" of him,um hes not a damn baby!if he hits me its because i said the wrong thing.etc etc.
I am suppose to have my home cleaned at all times,my son is to be well dressed,dinner should always be on the table.i am to ALWAYS have some type of dessert ready,laundry should always be put away but before putting it away i need to iron it.
Im also suppose to stay home and make babies.Im suppose to discipline the kids and not bother my husband with my "troubles" i am basically suppose to be a doormat,i am not my mother,i am me.and my husband knows that! ha
I know not all latino men are the same but i did not marry a mexican from my hometown bc half the time they are all the same.

Gloria - posted on 11/19/2009

4

14

0

Hi everyone, My name is Gloria and I'm new to circle of moms and also a mami latina =) I just wanted to say hello to all the mamis here!

Claudia - posted on 11/16/2009

6

0

2

I am a latina mom with 3 kids. I was raised by an obsessively clean and religious, bi polar, single Latin mother. She didn't teach us how to cook and criticized our housework, always correcting it herself. So I grow up, and I find it turns out I am the opposite of my mom, in every way. I had to learn how not to beat myself and feel guilty when I don't measure up. I realize now I lived with a very ill person, and sometimes her expectations are a little high for a person that is not obsessed with neatness and organization. I've had to learn accept me and care about myself, just as I am. Not every household is the same. Needless to say, I didn't marry a Latin Male, it could never work out....I don't cook well. I avoid my cultural dishes often..cause I'll get chunky or try to cook an alternative. I can't keep up with the mess of very messy 3 and 5 year olds. The laundry is constantly taunting me. But guess what? I still like to take time to go out with my family, work out, nap or read a book. I am a mother, not a martyr...and that just doesn't fly with a traditional Latin man.

Kristen - posted on 11/15/2009

31

36

5

Hi ladies.. Im not latina but my boyfriend and his family are dominican.. and I can not say i was raised in a latin home but italian and there really isnt much difference.. My mother in law is always telling me i need to learn how to cook for her son, and I am the one who has to be able to take care of the house and clean up after everyone, Its insane and Ive tred to explain how the responsibilities should be split.. and she is so not trying to hear me. It drives me crazy as if taking care of all the finances and a 4 month old and cleaning the house isnt enough!!

Lenae - posted on 11/14/2009

5

9

1

I am glad to see that I am not alone. I am 26 and have 4 kids; 9,6,3, and 3 months. I met my husband when I was 15 and we had our first son when I was 16. It was great he was such a gentelman, opening doors holding my purse, taking me out on dates. We got married 3 years ago and that is when it all went down hill.



He is from Mexico and I am Native American and Latina. I was raised both ways in that in native american culture what ever the woman says.....goes. If the woman wants to live near her family then that's what it's going to be. If she becomes a mother, she is a mother, but not a maid.



My husband has a wonderful job but it's not enough for our big family and he refuses to get another job. So gues what ladies, I am working 3 jobs. Yes 3! Saturdays I woulk at an apartment complex, 3 days a week I woulk with twin men who have autism, and then I have a 8am to 4pm job mon -fri. All the while I am expected to take the kids to school, pick them up from daycare, do homework, have dinner ready, shower the kids, feed the baby, do laundry, maintain a clean home, go to soccer and basketball practices, and clean up after my husband!



I am a strong woman so I am trying to teach my sons that a woman can be independant and not rely on a man, and I'm trying to teach my daughters that you don't need a man to rely on. It's hard cause they see me and how tired I am all the time, but I have put my foot down in the past and it does no good.



I guess it is up to us to decide how much we are going to take and it's up to us to determine how we want our lives to be. I was going to college and was going for a career and I gave that all up for 3 jobs and 4 kids and a husband. But ladies, we have opinions and we know what our limits are, and if our men can't handle that, then in my opinion, they can find someone that will be a slave to them. But me, I am working for my kids only.

Maria - posted on 11/11/2009

31

23

1

when we live in this time (this generation) we are still expected to be those traditional latina housewives...even if we work a full time job - we must come home and cook, clean, take care of the children, do the alundry, feed and walk the dog and still be gorgeous...high heels while cooking and all...its too much pressure.

luckily, my husband is a godsent and helps with our son...

Monica - posted on 11/09/2009

15

27

0

so true i work cook clean laundry you name it i do it and have 5 kids 2 dogs and a hubby but still people say i don't do enough, wish they could wallk a day in my shoes

Muriel - posted on 11/08/2009

4

10

0

I have been married 13 years and today is my anniversary. I am too familiar to some of you guys issues. I realized long time ago that I will never be my mother or my mother in law and I told my husband that. I demanded that he help more around the house. I believe that marriage is a 50-50 deal. I am not going to tell you that it was easy but i got tired of doing it all. I will remind him all the time. if I came home from work after he did and he was sleeping in the couch and the dishes were dirty, I will not cook until he took care of them. I told him that he should not expected me to do it all because it wasn't fair, after all I help with the bills around the house, he should help with the house work. After 13 years it still a work in progress and he will be taking care of the house, children while I am away working. I love the guy. :-0

Muriel - posted on 11/08/2009

4

10

0

Hi, I feel you. I am dominican and my mother in law is Puerto Rican which by the way I love to death. The problem is that as latina we associate healthty kids with body weight. I tried to make sure that my children have a well balanced meal every day and that they do not over eat sweets and fast food. The issue is that my sweet mother in law feels that if my children are not poping out of their clothes, I am not feeding them well. Needless to say, every time she comes over or the children goes to visit her, I feel as if my performance will be judge on a scale of 1-10 and my final score will be 0.

Priscilla - posted on 11/07/2009

3

15

0

Being a latina mom and married to a latino is exhausting!!!! my husband seems to think that im the only one responsible for the kids and for the home, all he has to do is work... so that leaves me with working a full time job, coming home helping my 6 yr old do her homework and get her ready for school the next day, tend to and play with my 1 yr old and also do all the chores a women has in the house while all he does is sleep and work. Thank God that his grandmother is stayin with us for a while and she helps with the cooking cause if theres one thing i hate is cooking (which im sure u guys kno is VERY frowned upon in the latino community). I really don't know what im gonna do when she leaves :o(

[deleted account]

Im also a latin mother with 3 kids and I work full time a as nurse. I don't think I could possibly do it with out my husband. He helps me so much with everythin ect. cleaning,cooking, homework. He is also a full time sales manager. I thank GOD so much for him. We make it work even though sometimes its hard.

Tricia - posted on 10/25/2009

12

56

1

i with u all on this but my thing is my mother in law she feels that i dont do my share of things...i hav a wonderful husband that helps wit everything (he cant cook so thats all me) so i hav to hear from my mil that in mexcio the women there do this n that...im so sick of it...sorry need to vent.

Dangelys - posted on 10/20/2009

38

23

3

I think as a latin woman its hard to just relax. We are raised to be super women and we see our moms do it every day. Its hard especially at 24 when im expected to cook , clean, grocery shop, atted to the baby my hubz and the dog... omg when is it my time????

Cynthia - posted on 10/19/2009

1

7

0

You are sooooo right. I'm 24 yrs old and I have 2 kids, my boy is 6 and the girl is 9 months. I have to cook everyday, clean and go to school to finish my 2nd degree, I can't imagine if I was still working, which I will be doing this upcoming January. I don't get time alone just to relax. All I'm asking for is a little bit of time to even sit down and enjoy a magazine. My hisband really doesn't help me. It's 6:15am as I'm writing this and I only slept 1 and a half hours. Now I have to get up and get my son and I ready to go to school. Its crazy.

Rebeca - posted on 10/18/2009

8

14

0

so true!!!! its funny cuz when i got married i didnt know how to cook, till this day im trying so hard, and its like i never stop cleaning, it is a little overwhelming...

Luly - posted on 10/18/2009

5

32

0



Quoting Paloma:

I'm a Mexican mom. I recently got a divorced, because the pressure of a very macho mexican husband, and a very traditional mom and family was just too much for me. He expected a spotless house, three course meal and well behaved kids on top of clean laundry etc, etc, the list could go on. My mom instead of supporting me or even listening to me would simpathize with him, because, well, he's a man and I am not! So to make a long story short, I'm happily divorced, raising my son and daughter as equals, in a home where both are valued and respected the same no matter their gender and they also have the same shores around the house!
Now, don't get me wrong, divorce is not the answer, but I do think we need to make sure newer generations leave behind the not so good parts of our culture, yet value and treasure the good ones!



 



Your story reminds me of my older sister.  She too married a macho mexicano and she is also divorced.  I'm very glad she left him... He expected too much and contributed too little...


 

Leslie - posted on 10/11/2009

4

10

0

What you say is so true, but I think we as latinas/mamas/mujeres, we put this on ourselves. Instead of asking for help we get mad. I have three kids 6,4,and 2, owe and my husband. It is exhausting trying to keep up, so I have delegated my authority to my husband. I don't have dinner ready anymore, If I am not exhausted from working, picking up the kids doing homework, going to ballet, or faith formationg than maybe I will put something away but you know what, we both have full times jobs how is it that I have all the collateral duties. I'm giving it back, I'm tired of being a single mom, when I have a husband at home, sorry had to vent and I thought you all could understand.

Arlene - posted on 10/09/2009

11

16

0

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one that feels this way either, I am an Hispanic with 2 kids and I live w/my bf. It drives me crazy that rite now i'm the only one working and wen I get home, he tells me that I have to take care of the house & the kids because it is my responsibility! I just think that is outrageous. We need to let these guys know that we r now in times where the woman goes to work & it is the responsibility of both parents to help w/the kids & the house! They expect us to do everything while they sit and do nothing. It's just not fair!!!

C. Jeannette - posted on 10/08/2009

15

5

0

I am sorry to hear that it ended up in divorce. However, unfortunately, some men are confused. They need a maid , not a wife!!

C. Jeannette - posted on 10/08/2009

15

5

0

Good for you! Some women are ok with staying at home and taking care of the entire household. That is great. However, for me, that is not what makes me happy. As a matter of fact, it would depress me. I am married with 2 children who are both high honor roll. The fact that I have a career does not take away from my parenting. I have everyone contribute with the house chores. I choose to work and be home at the same time my children come home from school. Choosing the right career is important to make it work.

Angelina - posted on 10/01/2009

2

11

0

I completely agree! We are raised to think that if our houses aren't emaculate, our kids aren't well behaved at all times and look good straight out of bed then we are lazy or just plain failures. I find myself cleaning all day but when my mom comes oh believe me she will point out what should have been done before she got there! uhhh drives me nuts! I have many friends from many different backgrounds and they for the most part don't care and don't stress about the house being clean and when their husband walk in they ask "did you make dinner" Not "what did you make for dinner?" But on the upside keep in mind ladies that our kids will always remember that mama always had beans cooking, had my clothes smelling fresh and still got whistled at when we went to the store! lol Its hard but it's us and whether we like it or not it will always be us as latina mamas.

Yvette - posted on 09/26/2009

2

15

0

Selene Rodriguez,

I have to say you are lucky!! I was in the Military and was married and still my husband then thought I had all the time in the world!! He would not do a thing, and expected me to do all the cleaning, cooking, taking care of a 3 month old baby and still be a wife. He would complain that I was not a Sgt but at the same time complained that I did not spend enough time at home!! I refueled aircrafts so I was on call a lot. To say the least he is no longer my hubby... :-) Now I have a partner that cooks if he gets home first and does clean the house without being told.

Paloma - posted on 09/23/2009

1

5

0

I'm a Mexican mom. I recently got a divorced, because the pressure of a very macho mexican husband, and a very traditional mom and family was just too much for me. He expected a spotless house, three course meal and well behaved kids on top of clean laundry etc, etc, the list could go on. My mom instead of supporting me or even listening to me would simpathize with him, because, well, he's a man and I am not! So to make a long story short, I'm happily divorced, raising my son and daughter as equals, in a home where both are valued and respected the same no matter their gender and they also have the same shores around the house!

Now, don't get me wrong, divorce is not the answer, but I do think we need to make sure newer generations leave behind the not so good parts of our culture, yet value and treasure the good ones!

VANESSA - posted on 09/23/2009

18

41

1

i know what ya mean about having to take care of all the kids including the hubby. i have a two story house to clean and four children to clean after, make sure they are ready to go to school and try to please the hubby at the same time if we ever have the chance. the thing is when us latinas women have our men malo acostumbrados, to when we ask them to do something they say yeah i'll do it in a minute and they never do, and we get mad and do it for them. are we dumb or what. but i stopped that little horsey ride. lol. we need to be a little strong with them just a tiny bit more, not to push them over the edge but just to find a way around them. we are strong women.

Sary - posted on 09/22/2009

13

10

0

Hi chicas! Well my day usually starts at 3am now (i have a 1 month old). I get up this early to get myself ready before my husband goes to work (5am). I cook breakfast and make lunches for both my husband and I. I make sure we spend time in the morning before he goes off to work. Then I usually turn on the news to see what's going on, begin to get the baby ready, feed her. Then I take her to her madrina's house where they take care of her because I work fulltime. I make sure I run all my errands during lunch time (sometimes i forget to even eat) that way i shorten my to do list. By the time I get off work it's late so I pick up my baby girl and go straight home. I start dinner and bathe the baby. I clean here and there and by the time my husband gets home dinners usually done. If not he finishes it and cleans whatever is left while I feed her. I put her to sleep and we sit down to eat dinner together. That's when we talk about our day and get to enjoy eachother's company. I usually get to go to sleep at midnight! I try and do the whole supermom thing cause I was blessed with a wonderfull husband that helps without me having to ask him to.

Iysha - posted on 09/03/2009

1,914

26

201

I tried dong the whole good house wife thing and I got real sick of it. I wanted to be like my mom and do the cooking, cleaning and all that. I was happy doing it until I realized it was for nothing. I got thank you's from my boyfriend, but he'd get drunk that night and totally wreck the house. I'm talking vomit everywhere in the bathroom but the toilet, food everywhere, cigarettes everywhere, beer cans everywhere. I was preggo and tired and... I couldn't take it anymore!! so I left the house a mess and haven't lifted a finger to clean up since. It has been a little under 10 months and HE now cleans our room, does laundry, cooks, washes dishes. He actually does it all better than I do! I help out a little when I feel like it every now and again. I'm on maternity leave so I get bored doing nothing all day. I couldn't believe how easy it was to have a total role reversal. All it took was pregnancy hormones to make me say " I'm over it!"

Carrie - posted on 08/29/2009

5

14

0

I am also blessed that my husband tell me to relax I am doing a wonderful job. But we r harder on ourselves a lot of times then anyone else. I also know a lot of the who cares group that r a lot more relaxed about everything.

Carrie - posted on 08/29/2009

5

14

0

It is a Latin Mom thing La Casa, Los hijos y el marido siempre primero but look good ladies while you put them first how exactly does that work? You have to b able to eat off of your floors or else forget it. I was brought up Cuban style and so was my husband so guess what it makes it even harder because everyones expectations are double

Carrie - posted on 08/29/2009

5

14

0

Oh yes that is also a must for Latina Moms,wives you must act & look a certain way because "what are people going 2 say." We have a lot of pressures.

Carrie - posted on 08/29/2009

5

14

0

I agree with you 100% it is harder for us. Just remember when our mothers were raising us they didn't have the day to day activities that we do today. We could play outside and b kids now everything is organized and with very demanding sch. for us & our children. Just look at the amount of school wrk they get. My 2nd grader has a ton of homewrk and tests my 10th grader well she is a teen but I have been blessed she is wonderful. Yes my girls r 8 yrs apart & no it is not easy. Another thing wait till your girls are older & friends don't understand why you have so many rules. Im so glad I joined your group.

Selene - posted on 08/25/2009

6

16

1

Hi ladies, i am new to Circle of Moms. Being latina we are raised from little girls to do all the "woman roles". From cooking, cleaning, baby bearing, be a slave to your husband and kids. My husband is lucky that i love to cook...so there is always a warm plate when he gets home. LOL When we first got married he tried to get me to do everything his mom did for him....guess what? That didn't work for me. As time went on he decided he would try to prove a point. He's in the Army and works all day. So his plan was to work all day and then come home and do everything i had to do and prove to me that i was being lazy. Well he didn't finish half the chores i normally do! HAHA He apologized to me and from that day on he now helps me, gives me breaks and most importantly he says Thank you. I love my husband and i do take him up on the help at times but since i do stay home i try to get as much done throughout the day so when he and the kids get home, we have time to enjoy each other and our kids.

Patricia - posted on 08/23/2009

22

5

0

Hola amigas, I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling that like everyday is a mission impossible. Cleaning, cooking, and caring for a two year old, a two month old and a latino husband is insane sometimes. I'm glad my husband understands how hard it can be, but he doesn't take the initiative to ease the stress. I'm not the best cook, but I try to make food as close to his mothers' as I can. I love being home with my babies and providing a comfortable home for my husband but I wish I could do more for myself. There is no "Me Time"!! The funniest thing is that my husband is thinking about another baby; he wants to try for a boy by next year?!?!

Luz - posted on 08/21/2009

4

7

0

Hello girls. I love this topic, and all of you are so right. Being a mami latina is something that not everybody can handle; specially when you stay at home. Sometimes it seems like nobody values all your hard work keeping your house and your family on track. The worse part is most of us love to do it for free, and I am not talking just about money; many of us do not even get compliments from husband, or credits from the in-laws. I am so fortunate that my husband thinks I am a good cook and a good mom. He also thinks I kind of freak out about keeping my house clean, but I would like to be even more organized. I also have noticed that there are exceptions to the rule, I know several latino families who do not care about good looking kids, house or husband. I guess they got involved in a "who cares" environment, don't you think?

Magaly - posted on 08/11/2009

42

32

2

I hear u Rosy...its a tough act being supermom...and kudos to u for also being the family's primary breadwinner. I'm assuming a lot of us put ourselves on the backburner as we tend to our homes, our children & our partners...so is there anything u all do to reconnect with yourselves? how do you find the time, or MAKE it rather?

Rosanna - posted on 08/10/2009

17

22

0

Hi Ladies! I'm new to Circle of Moms.....how is everyone? I love this topic....Well, I too was raised in a Latino household ( Im Cuban). I was brought up the exact same way. But as we all know this is a different generations, than that of our parents/grandparents. I right now am the only one working in the household (full-time). I too am expected to cook, clean, and tend to the beb when I get off work (8 hr shft). I get home with enough energy to bathe my baby and feed him.......cooking is the least of my worries! I feel bad, when I dont cook for the bf, but at the same time, he is home all day taking care of the baby while I work. BUt we all know men! LOL I can definitely say , it is overwhelming trying to be a super-mom.

Magaly - posted on 08/10/2009

42

32

2

the still looking good while doing ALL of that is what gets me...like R U SERIOUS?!?!?!?

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms