Almost 3 and temper tantrums are killing me

Kate CP - posted on 02/28/2009

I wish you the best of luck on this one! Is she in preschool?

Chastity - posted on 02/28/2009

I've been trying to be extra encouraging lately for good behavior with her. She responds to that really well. I just have to take it one step at a time I guess. It's always something different that sets her off.

Kate CP - posted on 02/28/2009

Try showing her how to appropriately show emotions-punching a pillow or even screaming into a pillow. Kids need that physical release more than adults do. Sometimes getting the older kids to teach the younger ones a new skill helps with rivalry.

Chastity - posted on 02/28/2009

Thanks Kate. We do time outs and try very hard to be consistant. It gets hard with 2 little ones running around. When she hits and I ask her why she did it, she'll tell me something like I'm so upset or I'm frusterated. Communication isn't so much the issue. She's acting out sine her brother is older and more active. I don't know what to make of it. It gets trying.

Kate CP - posted on 02/28/2009

Sounds like she needs more defined boundaries. When children get physical it's usually because they can't vocalize their emotions. When she does become physical it should be an immediate time out. When I say "time out" I mean she needs to go to a place and cool off (and so do you!). Set a timer for no more than 3 minutes and put her in her room or if she'll stay in a chair or her time out area and let her cool off. It won't sound like she's cooling off because she'll be screaming and fighting but it's her way of dealing with that frustration. When the timer rings is when it's time to talk about what just happened: "Do you know why I put you in a time out? Use your words to tell me something." The temper tantrums are also her way of communicating because she can't otherwise. When my daughter starts a fit all I have to say is "I can't understand you when you scream and cry. Take a deep breath and use your words. What's wrong?" and she'll calm down and talk to me. Just knowing that you're trying to understand them will help them a lot. I only have one child, but I did grow up with a little sister. My mother found out that the best way to stop the fights between us was to force us to different rooms-we hated being away from each other that much. I don't know if it will work for you, but it's worth a shot! Don't be afraid to give yourself a time out, too. Even Mommies need a chance to cool down. :)