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How to teach a 5 year old "tact"?????

Cindy - posted on 04/18/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

19

15

We went to my daughters pre-school for a parent update.

Teacher is very happy with our lo. She tells us that all the kids want to play with our lo. She is a true leader and everyone in the class follows. She doesn’t have only 1 (bff) in her class and plays with everyone, but on her terms…

(I know her “bff” is in the older class, thus they only play at home after school)

Our lo is loved by all the kids and the teachers, she is also very honest… and this is where the problem comes in. According to her teacher she sometimes is too honest!!

For example: she could only invite 5 friends to her birthday party. We gave out the invites and that was it. Then at school she would tell the classmates about her party (because she is excited) and then if one of them asks her if she is also invited, my lo will tell her- “no, you’re not invited”

HOW DO YOU TELL YOUR KID, NOT TO BE EXCITED ABOUT HER PARTY!!??

Or when they play “house-house” at school and they’ve got the mom and dad and the siblings and a 5th child wants to play with them, my lo will tell them, -“sorry, we’re enough brothers and sisters, but you can be our dog..”

IS THAT REALLY THAT BAD, our family has a mom and dad and 2 sisters and a dog....



At home she is the best older sister ever. She loves her baby sister (18mnts) she helps and plays and shares … She's never bossy at home (she gets her moments but that is normal, right?)

she is really a good kid with good manners. Everyone that knows her loves her!!

For me this “problem” is just a 5 year old not knowing about “tact” is this wrong?? How do you teach them that honesty is very nice and good, but don’t be too honest as you might hurt other kids..?

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Cheryl - posted on 06/05/2012

18

10

I don't think it's a matter of tact, I think it's a matter of a 5 year old seeing the world in a very different light. Regarding the birthday party, she's not going to think to say she can only invite so many. The quick, simple answer is "no," end of story, nothing else needing to be said as she sees the world. I'm loving 5 years old. I'm really understanding where "kids say the darnedest things" came from. You have to laugh, just like I did reading your post (you probably can't because you're too close to the situation, and therefore it's just not funny.) Keep in mind her simple understanding of the world around her. The sky is blue, bugs are cause to run screaming, "normal" families have so many kids and a dog, no more, no less, and some people around us are black, like my daughter pointed out to me. I asked her why she thought so, just out of curiosity, and she told me their skin was black, like it was the simplest thing in the world to understand.

If the uninvited kids are upset, tell your daughter to explain she can only have a certain number of friends. If that doesn't do it, encourage hugs and playdates. As for playing house, according to my daughter, there is nothing, and I mean nothing wrong with pretending to be a dog.

Tact I think is one of those things that come with age. The world will have more and more shades of grey, and then she'll figure it out, with your help. Lead her and guide her to being a good friend. Make sure she knows it's okay to have 3 kids in her "family", or 5 or 17, and maybe even a dinosaur or two, and she'll pick up on it.

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