Misbehavior in daycare

Elizabeth - posted on 03/07/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My 4 year old daughter (will be 5 on Friday) has been on "red" light for the last 7 days at daycare. Her behavior has run from telling the teacher no, yelling in the classroom, not completing her work, etc. It all seems to me to be typical of a 4 year old.



She doesn't behave as bad at home. Yes, we get the occassional No and not minding but not to the extreme that the daycare shows. My husband and I were called to the office of the daycare's director to discuss her behavior. She told us we might consider taking her to a therapist/counselor.



We have used all sorts of disciplines from time outs, taking away privileges and toys, no tv, bed early, and yes even sometimes spanking. The next morning at school, it is the same thing.



I feel as though they are looking at me as a bad mother. Yes, my husband is involved in all this, but he (as a man) isn't as emotional.



Any thoughts, suggestions or HELP?

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Elizabeth - posted on 04/30/2012

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UPDATE:

About a week after my daughter turned 5, it was like a switch flipped. She started acting better and minding a little more. In the past 2 months, she has only brought in 3-4 notes describing inappropriate behavior.



I really do think it was the director of the daycare program that overreacted. I heard her telling another little girl the other day that saying "old woman" jokingly to her mother was inappropriate and disrespectful.



Thank you for all the help. Ü

[deleted account]

Frist of all you're not a bad mother. I was in the same boat. My aon hated his first daycare. As soon as we would leave our apt to walk to the daycare he would literally cry and that's not we at the door of the day. This just right when we getting out the door. I sometimes would peek through to see what he's up to and I got him a couple of times like sleeping on the high school. They would isolate him of the other kids. I was getting pissed off. I then took him out of their cause one day they didn't call me saying my son got bitten on his arm. Literally it looked like a black and blue. I finally decided that I had enough and took him out and place him by my mom's house. Well there his behavior was amazing. He wouldn't cry. He loved the teacher as she too him.She helped him in talking as she was also a special ed teacher.

I think there was something going on because my son wouldn't cry when I switched his daycare. He was always with a great smile and would say bye mama. So take a good luck at what's going on. Sometimes kids are afraid to say something thinking they could get in trouble.

[deleted account]

HI Elizabeth,

Your post is over a month old and I was just wondering if your lo is still acting out? And if you found out what the reason for her behavior is/was…

This is not right!! Usually kids behave better at school or in public then at home! If she’s only doing this at school…. Something’s wrong.

How long has she been at the school? Is it a new school? Maybe a new teacher?

Elizabeth - posted on 03/07/2012

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We have sat her down and talked to her. We've explained that it is not nice. When we ask her what happens at school to make her do something, she simply says, "I don't know".



We've asked if she is afraid of something, if someone is messing with her, etc. She brings up instances where a kid in the class did something (like hit or threw something at her) that happened a year or two ago.

Michelle - posted on 03/07/2012

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my first thought is what is going on at daycare to cause her to act this way 4 year olds act out for a reason. Get to the bottom of why she is acting this way and I am sure your daughter will be back on track. It could be something really simple or it could be something more serious but you won't know until you sit her down and really talk to her about why she is acting this way. Remember talk not lecture or she will drift into lala land on you.

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