My 20 month old keeps throwing terrible fits!!!!

Kendel - posted on 12/12/2008 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My son is about 20 months old and for the past few weeks he throws a fit over the littlest thing! I dont know why he is doing this all of a sudden, he has been so great over the past 18-19 months and just out of no where he is doing this. A friend of mine is telling me its because I'm pregnant agian and I'm 11 weeks and he can sense the hormone changes, and is reacting too. As well as he is getting closer to 2 years, he is hitting his terrible 2's. My husband and I dont know what to do about his fits, we dont give into him and never have but they are getting worse and for longer periods. There are times I have to leave the store because he gets so bad, its basically we tell him he cant have something(which he knows he cant have) and just throws himself on the floor. Anyone have an ideas of what we can do about it, or if we need to get him a "naughty mat" or something like that, we think he is to young for it but we just dont know what else to do!!! Any ideas would be great!!! Thanks!!

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Kendel - posted on 12/16/2008

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My husband and I decided to try time outs, we went out and got a chair just for time outs. He has another chair that he loves and we didnt want it to turn into a bad thing, so we got the other chair. We have been doing it for about 2 days now and it seems to be working, his time out doesnt start till he calms down, then he only sits there for 1 minute, then we get down at eye level and explain to him why he was in time out, and man after 2 days he is doing so much better, before we put him in time out we give him a warning, and then another one and start to count to 3 and if he doesnt stop by then he goes in time out! If any of you need to do something but dont know what, I suggest trying out time out! Now with a warning he stops, he doesnt want to sit in his chair in the corner!!!

Belinda - posted on 12/15/2008

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hi there my son is the same age & he does the same thing i tell him no & as soon as the word NO is said he cracks it worse. i have learnt to just ignore him when he is cracking it big the more i react the worse he gets. i think it is because they know what they want but cant communicate in proper words yet to us so is frustrating to them & us, and as you say about the pregnant part i agree i am 16 weeks myself.

Lynnette - posted on 12/14/2008

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It may be that you're pregnant - although my Zach (who is 21 months) is doing the same thing. We are chalking it up to teething and terrible twos. And we are doing time outs, too. One thing about time outs is to just pick them up and put them in time out without emotion. No yelling, no screaming. Good luck! And you're not alone.

COURTNEY - posted on 12/14/2008

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Hey Kendal
My son is 21months and does the same now and then he even was head butting on the ground or wall if it was closer , Very frustrating as you said we do not give in and havent in the past, Its funny you say this Im 8 weeks pregnant and maybe they do know whats going on with us and are testing. Yeah when is it ok to have a naughty corner or mat. I try not to make eye contact when he plays up or I just walk away or turn him away from me (they want to see your reaction).
Cheers Courtney

F - posted on 12/13/2008

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My daughter went through this at 19-20 mos. It stopped as abruptly as it started. It was really bad, I was the one walking around on egg shells fearful of setting her off!!

Lorilynne - posted on 12/13/2008

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Oh and this may not help right now because your new baby is so far away.....but once my son came, my daughter's attitude changed completely. She's so helpful and she loves her little brother so much. She still has the occassional tantrum but the time outs really nip them in the bud.

Lorilynne - posted on 12/13/2008

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I just posted this on another forum but thought it may help here too. When my daughter was 15 months old, I started teaching her about time outs. At first she really didn't understand what was going on but repetition works. I put her in a chair facing the wall, explain to her why she's in time out and then make her sit there for a minute. When time is up, I explain again why she was in time out and then ask her for a hug and kiss as an apology. Sometimes she tries to just hug or kiss me as I'm putting her in time out but I don't let the cuteness change the discipline. If she gets up, the minute starts over. I found that I had to sit right next to her the first dozen times or so but now she's 21 months old and I usually just have to say "Do you want a time-out?" and she'll stop doing whatever it is I want her to stop doing.

Also, my daughter started doing the tantrum thing when I was in my last few months of pregnancy. I'm pretty sure she knew that changes were coming and she didn't really know how to deal or express herself. If we were at home, all I had to do was ignore the tantrum and once she realized that she wasn't getting the attention she would stop. I also noticed when she got frustrated with things she would throw the same type of tantrum and in that situation usually just asking her if she needed help would stop the fit. I never had to deal with fits in public, thank goodness, but I would personally would probably just leave the store too.

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