My daughter seems to prefer daddy!

Meredith - posted on 02/22/2009

Hi Sandra, yeah, Rowan is a very affectionate child too, and will still give me plenty of sloppy kisses if she's in the mood. And if we haven't seen daddy all day, it warms my heart to see her run into his arms and snuggle in, knowing she feels safe and happy. Although it can be hard when she rejects me in favour of him, I'm glad they have a loving relationship - think how terrible it would be if our daughters didn't bond with their fathers...

Sandra - posted on 02/21/2009

My daughter is the same, prefers daddy, especially when I say no to things... If daddy is around and she's hurt she wants him... She even tells me to "away" (her way of saying go away) sometimes... It is heartbreaking at times to think she favours him over me, but she does randomly come up and kiss and hug me and tell me that she loves me, so I guess it's all worth it in the end...

Melissa - posted on 02/18/2009

Quoting Meredith:

Ha, that's true, but if I left it to him she'd be living off cereal and toast! It's only recently she's been showing this preference, and as I'm due any time now, although I feel a little hurt, I'm not discouraging it at the moment, because I may have to stay in hospital for a while with the new baby. But my partner is enjoying it! Up until about a month ago she was a definate mammies girl!

I`ve read a wonderful (and slightly controversial) book that may help give some of your chores to your partner.  Its called, "The Surrendered Wife"  It tells you not to worry about letting him take some responsabilities, you may be afraid that he wont dress your daughter corrcetly, put her diaper on backwards, or let her only eat toast... Just remember.  YOU chose to be with your partner and you would only choose someone who is equal to you.  Let him take some responsabilities, he may mess up once or twice, but he`ll learn just the way you did!  He is competant or you wouldnt be with him.  By respecting him and his choices, you are respecting yourself.  I hope this helps

Meredith - posted on 02/13/2009

Hi stacy, I think my little girl would enjoy nursery - she so loves playing with other kids. I'll worry though - she so loving and innocent, always willing to share her toys. I worry that more worldly wise kids will walk all over her. I guess she's got to learn sometime! I will look into it though, she's probably a lot tougher than I think.

My mum is coming to stay at the end of the month - I'm hoping the new baby waits for her. She can't get here until 27th and I'm due 28th. Although housework isn't exactly her strong point, at least she can cook and shop, and operate a washing machine. And look after Rowan whilst I get some rest. Rowan was over two weeks late, so I'm not holding my breath waiting for this one - the more time goes by, the more I'm convincing myself that this one will be a late arrival too. Ha, I bet my waters break when I'm out watching the Wales - England rugby game tomorrow! Don't tempt fate...

Stacy - posted on 02/12/2009

bless u, it is so time consuming trying to keep up with the washing etc, our washing machine was always going as noah kept taking his nappy off and so his bedding was a daily thing to be washed lol. try not to worry too much for the first few weeks after yr new baby arrives if people want to come and see u and the new arrival i'm sure they'll take no notice about how much washing there is to or toys all over the floor. even for the most organised of mums wen another baby arrives it's still takes a while to get a good work n' play routine established.





with regards to cooking meals i found it hard to find the time to get in the kitchen without 1 or both of my kids needing me lol, so i went for things like casseroles, stews etc.as once the meat and veg r in u can just pop them into the oven and forget about it untill yr ready for yr dinner, it makes life so much easier and there r so many different one pot dishes, which means a variety and not too much washing up..



i can imagine it wud be so much easier if yr daughter had a nap in the afternoon.i received a booklet from the child benefit award letter etc and it said in it that some nurseries/day care centres offer 12.5 hrs of governmennt grants funded care at the age of 2yrs instead of just 3yrs. if there was one near u it might be worth asking, since my little boy started going for his grant sessions he comes home totally whacked lol, and it's great.



it's really great that yr partner is able to help u more now tho, all the best x

Meredith - posted on 02/12/2009

Hi Stacey, I am at home with her all day, but her dad has starting spending more time at home recently because I need the help! He does loads of fun stuff with her, takes her out for walks with the dog, plays outside with her, does all the stuff that I can't at the moment, so it's not really surprising that she is favouring him.

I'm dreading how I'm going to manage keeping up with all the washing/cleaning/cooking when the little 'un arrives. My daughter doesn't always take a nap in the afternoons, but when she does, I'm straight to bed! Yesterday I did a weeks worth of ironing and was so happy it got done - but the washing machine never stops in our house, and there's only 3 of us at the mo! I think I'll have to enroll Rowan in nursery soon... I'm going to breast feed and that is time consuming, so the place is going to look a mess for a while!

Thanks x

Stacy - posted on 02/11/2009

hi, my daughter jorja has similar behaviour. r u a stay at home mum with her all or best part of the day and does her daddy work full time ? i ask because wen i'm looking after my daughter all day everyday, she's very loving but as soon as her daddy comes home she's not interested in me untill she's had a bit of time with her daddy all to herself.



i put it down to the fact that she misses him while he's at work all day and she knows that from the time he gets home in the evening she's only got a couple of hours b4 bedtime. i try to see it as a positive thing that she obviously enjoys being with me during the day but that she shows her daddy how much she has missed him. after all with her being with me all day everyday she doesn't get the chance to miss me.



funny enough jorja is my second, but noah (my first) was really good during and after my pregnancy. i think we as mums naturally worry about how our first child will react to the second i.e. will they love there baby bro or sis, will they feel neglected with the new baby having so much attention etc. i know wen i had noah that while he slept during the day i got on with the housework, laundry etc, but wen i had jorja she hardly slept during the day at all untill she got to 6 months and it was really hard. so for the little naps she did have i madde sure to spend the time with noah playing etc



i myself hate clutter and the washing building up but i made it wait untill the evening wen he was in bed, it is totally exhausting but while their getting used to the baby get them to take part in helping to look after him/her. noah loved giving jorja her milk, helping me to bath and dress her made him feel like a big brother, keeping his mind busy so he didn't have time to feel left out.



i think i've said quite a lot so far, i hope this has helped and that all goes well with the birth and introduction of yr new baby x

Jenni - posted on 02/11/2009

Very true! I hope that day comes sooner than later :o) Its alright, I just better get one that is attached to me LOL! JK

Meredith - posted on 02/10/2009

Hi jenni, it's tough, isn't it? I keep asking myself if it's something I've done wrong. It's lovely they get on great with their dads, but horrible, when we love them so much and they don't seem to want to know! I think Rowan is just fickle though - I was playing with her in her bedroom yesterday evening, and her dad came to see what we were up to - she told him to go away and slammed the door in his face! I'm sure your daughter will want to be with just you, many, many times in the future. Rowan was totally devoted to me and wanted to be with me all the time up until a few months ago. Her dad used to try and get her to say "daddies girl" and she would just taunt him, saying "Mammy, mammy, mammy!!" But one day she just wanted to be with him, and she's been obsessed with him ever since! But I'm sure your little one loves you very much - maybe just takes you for granted! We don't realise before we have kids, that the moment you give birth to them, your heart is enslaved forever... at totally at their mercy!

Meredith - posted on 02/10/2009

Hi Nicole, of course you're right and I'm glad she's close to her father, especially as I can't get down and play with her like I used to,  because I'm due with our second baby this month. But she was always such a mammies girl up until a few months ago, I'm missing the closeness! I think she is picking up on my inner torment though and starting to play us off against each other. The past few nights she's kicked off big time at bedtime, clinging to her dad, who'll let her stay up just coz he can't handle her screaming. I've had to prize her away from him and carry her upstairs kicking and screaming and put her to bed. I've had words with my partner, telling him he can't let himself be bullied by a 22 month old baby, and some things, like bedtime, are not negotiable. Kids ain't daft, hey!

Jenni - posted on 02/09/2009

Oh my gosh! I totally know what you are talking about. My Daughter will be 2 on March 28th, she has NEVER been a Mommy's girl. She has always been a Daddy's girl. Even though he shares all the stuff with me, punishing included she still prefers him over me! Its very hard, she is my first and it just breaks my heart sometimes. So i know how you feel. I'm looking forward to the day she wants to be with just me... if it comes LOL! Maybe i'll end up with a boy who is totally attached to his Mommy :o)

Nicole - posted on 02/09/2009

It is completely normal and while it does hurt a bit at times, this too shall pass. Our children goes through phases and We are home with our children 24/7 and so when Daddy arrives home..it's a treat and daddy is the fun one. 3 of my 4 go running for the door when he arrives from work and then I become chop liver. Our youngest will do the same as your child fussing when you try and pick her up. Don't get upset, hurt or angry or resentful, instead, be thankful that your child loves and adores your husband as much as she does..knowing that he must be a great father if she always wants to go to him. Enjoy it in the meantime, when she wants daddy..go curl up with a book, take a warm bath or pour a glass of wine and hold onto the moments when he is not ther and all she wants is you. There will be PLENTY of those days when all she wants is YOU. I have 4 kids...trust me....they do!!!!

Meredith - posted on 02/09/2009

I guess they go through little phases, prefering one parent over the other. Because I'm so heavily pregnant, I can't play with her like I used to. In a way it's a good thing she's so into daddy at the moment, coz she'd probably be bored stiff if she was relying on me for entertainment! I'm not much fun right now!

Meredith - posted on 02/09/2009

I guess they go through little phases, prefering one parent over the other. Because I'm so heavily pregnant, I can't play with her like I used to. In a way it's a good thing she's so into daddy at the moment, coz she'd probably be bored stiff if she was relying on me for entertainment! I'm not much fun right now!

Lorilynne - posted on 02/08/2009

My daughter is like that to a point.  She doesn't actually push me away or anything but she always gives my husband a hug and kiss if he asks, whereas she usually ignores my request unless she's in a cuddly mood.  I think for us its because I'm home all the time and my husband doesn't always get to see her every day so she soaks up what time she does get with him.  I don't let it bother me because our son is definately a mama's boy (he's about 5 1/2 months) and prefers me to my husband so its pretty even in our house, lol :) 

Meredith - posted on 02/08/2009

Ha, that's true, but if I left it to him she'd be living off cereal and toast! It's only recently she's been showing this preference, and as I'm due any time now, although I feel a little hurt, I'm not discouraging it at the moment, because I may have to stay in hospital for a while with the new baby. But my partner is enjoying it! Up until about a month ago she was a definate mammies girl!

Shelly - posted on 02/08/2009

Quoting Meredith:

My daughter seems to prefer daddy!

Hi, I've got a lovely little girl who will be two on March23rd. We've always been very close, and she always used to cling to me more than her dad. But recently she's started saying she's daddies girl, and will even tell me to go away sometimes. She seems to prefer going to daddy for cuddles, and sometimes screams if I try and pick her up and hug her, but then runs straight to her father for a hug! If my partner isn't about, she is just as loving towards me as she always has been, but when he's home, she rejects me in favour of him. I must admit to feeling a bit hurt by this rejection! I am expecting my second child any day now - maybe she's picking up on this? Anybody else experienced this? x

Hello Meredith, I have a daughter that will be 2 on March 30, though we don't have the problem with her always wanting daddy, my cousin had a daughter that sounds a lot like yours. I don't know your situation, but I know with my cousin, she is the one that always "takes care" of her daughter, for example, brushing her teeth, baths, combing her hair, making her eat, changing her diaper, making her take a nap, while daddy is the fun one. All he has to do is play with her and spoil her. My husband and I both work, therefore we share ALL chores, both with the house and taking care of the kids. Even though I'm sure you don't mind doing things for her because you are getting to spend more time with her, maybe have him do some of the "not so fun" stuff.