STILL not talking...really frustrating

Jenny - posted on 10/22/2009

My 19 month old daughter has been speaking clearly for quite a while now and never shuts up. She now parrots everything you say but can also formulate quite a good sentence for her age. Most people understand her. However my son was the complete opposite. He never said a more than two or three words and just pointed when he wanted something. I was worried about him but when he got past 2 he just started talking properly. He was obviously just sitting there absorbing everything. He never shuts up now and has a great vocabulary for a 5 year old. He's done that with everything, walking, toilet training, etc. My daughter just rushes into everything and shows off (plus she has a big brother helping her learn quicker). So you can see each kid is so different. Do get his hearing checked just for your own peace of mind. but otherwise just have some patience and make words and talking fun. Just talk to him lots but leave some gaps so he can answer if he feels like it. Hope all goes well.

Jessica - posted on 10/21/2009

My 18 month old does the same thing. There are some words that she can say clearly but other wise she does the uh uh thing and we try to make her say things before giving in to her. Thats about all you can do, once they do start talking you will be wanting them to stop lol. I wouldn't let it bother you very much, because if he senses your frustrated at him, he's not going to want to try even more. When he's ready he will talk.

Heather - posted on 10/20/2009

My son is about the same. He only really says 4 different words, but I've noticed, like other moms, he has his own words for things. His sippy is "ka" and if he wants more to eat he makes a sound like "un." He also didn't start walking until 18mo. One doctor freaked out saying it was a good chance he was mentally handicapped and put our names in with a local special needs school. I was angry he even suggested such a thing. When they called me we talked about his development and they said he seems to be alright but if he didn't start to show progress by the time he was 2 to have him come in to their center to be evaluated by specialists. I think that these days they expect more development from babies now than when we were growing up. I didn't start walking until I was nearly 19 months old and didn't start talking (more than mama and dada) until around that same time frame. And back then it wasn't any cause for worry. I think it's nuts they want my 18 month old to speak 3 word sentences and have a vocabulary of 9 different words.

Kim - posted on 10/19/2009

My son is the same way...only says about 5 words. He is such an active kid that his pediatrician said he is too busy to talk. She told me to give it a couple more months and if he doesn't start saying more words that she would send us to a speach therapist. I guess some kids are more active and some more verbal at this age. Just keep working at naming objects and consider asking your pediatrician for advice if things don't improve by the time he is 2.

Chantelle - posted on 10/11/2009

I had the same concern with my son. My nurses said as long as he's TRYING to say about 5-8 words (I think) then he's fine. They don't have to be clear words. My son makes the same sounds for "bless you", and "thank you", it's more mumbling sounds than talking- you wouldnt know he was saying those words if he said the randomly. BUT he knows when to say them which means he understands when I say them, so I know he's learning. He just has to learn to speak more clear on his own time, when he's ready. Don't be concerned until he's about two.

Mschelseamac - posted on 09/27/2009

According to the ages and stage 14month questionaire our Son should be saying 5 words but he isn't. He says Dad, Hi, and Yeah. He's completely lost Mom in the past few months.



We took him to get his hearing tested and he can hear language but we need to go back in November when he'll hopefully stay still for the rest of the tests. There is a concern he may have some hearing loss in his right ear as he didn't respond as well to noises on that side. He had a REALLY BAD ear infection that took 2 rounds of antibiotics to get rid of, after that is when he started losing words :(



We went to an encouraging speech class and they said the same things. Repeat repeat repeat, make them ask, ect ect. I understand how you feel though, soon you feel like a brain damaged parrot or you cannot stand the screaming anymore and just give in and give them what they want.



We also have him signed up for a hearing test playgroup with a speech therapist. It is a small group of children about the same age and you let them interact. The therapist observes to see if there is communication concerns, behavioural problems, ect ect.



Some people say I'm over reacting, however I almost needed tubes in my ears at his age and I have a cousin who has suffered permanent hearing damage because problems weren't picked up soon enough.

Olivia - posted on 09/27/2009

my son who is also 18 months just started saying words. It was like one day he couldnt and the next day he knew 20 words. Every child learns at different levels. Just stay as patient as you can and keep working with him. Read to him and use flashcards. Maybe try to get him to say the sounds of animals. That is what my son started with....hope he talks soon for you! :) Also one more thing, my dr said that sometimes kids when they turn 2 just start talking like they have been doing it all along! It will work out.

Cheryl - posted on 09/27/2009

my oldest didnt talk til he was 2 an a half an now he doesnt keep quiet! an i have an 18 month old an he says a few things but not loads but im not one bit worried, they talk when they r ready to talk.

Michelle - posted on 09/23/2009

I recently took my son to a 1 before 2 developmentally screening. I did have the concern that he wasn't talking yet. They said - it's not an issue of whether he can talk or not at 18 months, and that it is a huge conception, there is not magical age.

The issues at 18 months old are - can he understand you? and Can he communicate with you, in his own way? They don't really worry about no words until around 2 1/2 to 3.

If he is pointing, leading you, doing small things you ask - he is probably just fine. Like Noah can throw things away when you ask him or will point and whine when he wants something or grab my leg or shirt and try to show me. Communication in their own form is most important right now.

However, it is always a good idea to do a development screening before they are two. If there is a hearing or development problem, catching it early or establishing a baseline is important. And I have heard that many many people have success with sign language at this age.

Chantelle - posted on 09/22/2009

I wouldn't stress too much about yet, he's still young. In saying that if he is like this still at 2 you may want to have him seen by a paediatrician, who may have him referred to a psychologist for assessments. A lot of kids with autism do not talk at this age and become very frustrated with communication. I'm not saying your kid has autism but my son was the same, he also displayed a lot of other unusual behavious as a toddler. He is now 7, talks excessively but has aspergers syndrome - an asd. My neighbours boy is 4 and still doesn't talk and was recently diagnosed with autism. I know it's frustrating, but remain calm, don't force the issue because you will just upset him, he can not help being this way.

Jen - posted on 09/22/2009

I've recently read that many babies 18months of age baby talk and make noises and sounds only they understand and that this is normal. The article also said that just because your baby does not mimic you doesn't mean he doesn't understand what you're saying. My 18month old just started saying "No". Some babies just take longer to speak... keep doing what you're doing...teach him the names of objects when you are trying to figure out what he wants, and just be patient. I've been trying for weeks to get my son to say "please" and it's just not happening, but in time he will. Try babycenter.com, I get updates from them weekly and it's a really helpful website.

Christina - posted on 09/21/2009

Quoting Laurie:

2 is the average age for children to really start talking. If he's saying 2-3 words ( Mama, Dada and maybe 1 other) than he is right on track.

Well said Laurie.

At 18 months children are still exploring their world. They are more hands on experimenters versus verbal ones.

You'll also find that close to the 2 year old mark, kids have what's known as a language explosion where they just start saying more and more words every day.

Children like to master something, then put it away and not do or say it again for months and then it emerges together with other skills down the track

The reason for this is children can only concentrate on one or two things at a time and if they are busy manipulating a toy and concentrating on a thought of "if I do this, I wonder what will happen" they are not likely to be thinking about communication (point here being is kids aren't good multitaskers and they have a far more important agenda of play and discovery)

I'd begin to be concerned if by the solid age of 2 your child still isn't communicating much with you. If your child gets 'lazy' and points and grunts and you get it - you are giving them no incentive to want to say what it is they want. So repeat it to them "is it the sandwich you'd like" or even just "sandwich?" and soon enough they'll repeat it back to you

If they really aren't saying more than a couple of words at 2 - then get hearing and other things checked.

Until then, provide your littlie with lots of stimulating activities throughout the day (minimal tv) and talk to them as you would anyone else throughout the day. When changing them, say "we are putting on *child's name* shirt, let's put on a nice clean nappy" etc and ask lots of questions - even if you don't get a response. Your little one will surprise you one day when they answer you back!

Laurie - posted on 09/21/2009

2 is the average age for children to really start talking. If he's saying 2-3 words ( Mama, Dada and maybe 1 other) than he is right on track. And it is never too late ot teach a child ASL. Just dont' teach too many words or there will be no reason for him to try to learn to talk and don't do the sign to him after he has learned them.

Bronwen - posted on 09/20/2009

Don't mean to be sounding negative, but have you been to have his hearing tested? If he's not hearing clearly, it could be why he isn't able to speak clearly...

By 18 months toddlers aren't expected to know more than about 20 words, and you'll probably find he has his own words for things. It took me two weeks to understand that my daughter was asking for her bottle when she said "gockle". I went through the "pointing" test. When she said something I would point at what I thought it was and say "This? Bottle?" and she'd nod, then at least I knew what her word for it was. I found that once I started doing that she was much quicker to start pointing out what she wanted while saying the word, and we learned eachothers "language". Also, I've heard that children learn faster when you just talk to them. Instead of just hearing a word, they hear the flow of the language and they learn the context as well.

Good luck.

Sarah - posted on 09/19/2009

My daughter is 17 months old and is talking some, but she mainly uses sign language to communicate. I don't know if you have ever heard of Signing Time. They are DVDs that teach sign language for children. My daughter loves them! You can find them at www.signingtime.com. She has caught on to these so quickly and they really help her communicate with me.

Tymeshia - posted on 09/17/2009

Okay now I don't feel so bad. My son is 17 months old he does the same stuff. When I'm trying to get him to say words he'd rather not pay attention to me. He will come get me and take me to whatever he wants or at least takes me close to it and I figure out the rest. He is still in that jibberish stage and says very few words that I can understand.

Anna - posted on 09/17/2009

I agree try ASL sign language, it's never too late! He will actually probably pick it up faster. I would start with eat, drink, more and help. It will cut down on his frustration if he is able to communicate whether thru sign language or verbally. I taught both of my children sign language, and it did not affect their speech development. They were both early talkers w/ large vocabularies. I would give it a try and also talk to your pedi about your concerns if you think it may be a developmental delay. Good Luck!

Lacey - posted on 09/17/2009

my son does the same thing..he only says like 3 words and yells all the time. i try repeating words and reading to him but he just doesnt care! i dont know what to do!

Amy - posted on 09/17/2009

My son is 18 months old and does the same things as your son. He can say Mama and Dada. We try to get him to use signs, however, he chooses not to. He has an older brother, 13 months older, who talks ALL the time and he could talk at 9 months and by 18 months we could understand more than 1/2 of what he said. We have tried the speech therapist route, however, no one will ever call us back. The guy who came out and met with us one time seemed to think there wasn't anything wrong. The doctor wants to send him to an ENT to check out his ears. She thinks he might need tubes in his ears and that is why he isn't talking, because he can't hear very well. I don't know what to think. It is worth a shot though.

Julie - posted on 09/16/2009

It's a little late, but still might help to introduce some baby signs to him ... the motor skills are MUCH easier to master than speech. A lot of what I've read indicates that it works as a bridge to talking and does NOT inhibit speech. My guy currently uses more signs than sounds he can make. His only "words" are mom and blah ... He was early and has a speech delay, so the signs help him.



Have you talked to your pediatrician about your concerns? Maybe it is time for an evaluation by a speech therapist.