Tantrums at 22 months

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2010

My lil guy has done this too! But we never have seen him throw himself on the floor though. He did this squealing for about a month. My husband, daycare and I said inside voice please. It seems to work. Now when he does it, he puts his finger to his mouth and says "sshh". It kinda cute.

Waiiriringi - posted on 02/21/2010

All I can remember doing with my oldest boy, and what we are introducing to our nearly two yr old is total ignorance. Meaning we make sure he cant be hurt by hiself or anything around him and just let him blow off steam. If this gets too much for us, we end up putting him in his bedroom and closing the door till he quiets down. We then check in on him and if he needs cuddles we give it to him and he's usually right after that. It is a bonus though any time we check on him and he is fast asleep =)

Wouldn't it be so much easier if they could tell you straight away what their matter was without having to have a tanty about it in the first place??????

Jessica - posted on 02/21/2010

My son is one month away from two years old. He started screamin at 18 mo. and still does. I believe distracting his attention and simply trying to talk to him plainly, has worked the best. He usually stops screaming because I've pursuaded him to do somthing. There are times though, that he doesnt and I put him in his room untill he calms down. Simply ignoring him just made it worse for me.

Stef - posted on 02/21/2010

My daughter is behaving this way too! I'm gonna just stay strong because it will pass soon and I don't want her to think she has the run of the house! She needs to know Mommy & Daddy are the bosses!

ALICE - posted on 02/20/2010

I have a 23 month old son, and I am sure alot of you will think this is not a good way to stop the tantrums. The first time he did it, I was floored and didn't know what to do. The second time he did it, I pointed and laughed at him and he never did it again. Maybe it was wrong of me to do that, but he was sooooo embarrassed that he never did it again. If he does have a crying fit or that high pitched squeel, it has only been at home and he does it into his pillow so no one else can be disturbed by it.

Kellye - posted on 02/19/2010

Ok, I have raised 5 kids successfully. They are the ages of 17 to 23. Now we are in the process of adopting a lil boy that will be two the end of march. My older children never threw fits, never really bit. They were awesome! We never dealt with the terrible twos. Even my parents and inlaws said the same thing. Now, this little chap head buts whatever is close (no matter how hard or soft), he slaps my daughter in law everytime he gets in trouble or things don't go his way, he even slaps himself. We have had him since he was 3 months old so we are the only family he knows. Our pediatrician said to totally ignore him. We have done that and the head butting stopped for a while but recently has started again. Any suggestions? Please help.

Iris - posted on 02/19/2010

i am having that problem too, the thing i do with mine is, when she is home i ignore or tell her that she will be in time out in case she keeps it up, when im on the street or in public, i make a very mad face look at her and tell her she is going to get a spanky in case she keeps it up...she sttops, but its never for too long.

Amy - posted on 02/18/2010

I have to agree with Betsy's reply. My daughter had the terrible 2s around 18 months-she would throw herself on the floor and knock her head on the door/wall. The doc said just ignore her. It's hard but once you get going it's not that bad. With that being said my son (2 in March) is really giving me a run for my money. I definitely yell a lot more but also just "remembered" that I am suppose to ignore the tantrums so I am trying that and putting him in a spot to calm down-that did work with her also. I do believe that either boys or the second child are more of a challenge....not sure which one it is yet. Glad I am not alone....you have to admit when they are cute they are really cute and you ALMOST forget.

Ashley - posted on 02/18/2010

If my little boy starts having a tantrum, I whip his butt and tell him he's not allowed to have a fit. He'll normally only do that once every couple days because he doesn't like to get whipped.

Bec - posted on 02/18/2010

My little girl is 2 next month & has been doing that for around 8 months now she also hits & kicks & has recently dicided to start biting.. Anyone with idea on how to stop this would be great

Paula - posted on 02/18/2010

What really helped me was the time out thing. I have a long hall in our house, so I close all the bedroom doors and put the child's gate to make a square. My daughter already knows her time out spot. First I give her a warning and then if she doen't behave well, she goes to the little square - no toys, nothing to distract her. After 1 or 2 minutes I explain to her why she is there and I ask her to say "sorry". Believe me, it worked a lot! Sometimes I had to leave her in timeout for more than 3 times a day!

Alicia - posted on 02/17/2010

i have no ideas but im going through the same thing....

Christian - posted on 02/17/2010

My daughter is turning two on March 22. She bangs her head on the floor hard and she kicks her feet. Her tantrums have gotten really bad. I called her doctor and asked him what he suggests I do. He told me to put her somewhere she can't hurt herself and just ignore her. By ignoring her you are not feeding her the attention and you are showing her that you will not give in. It is hard to do that when you are in public though. I am still trying to figure out to do in that case.

Sandy - posted on 02/16/2010

I'm having the exact same problems myself and am at a loss as to what to do with him. If you find out anything please message me. Good Luck! Sandy

Julie - posted on 02/11/2010

i think this is normal behaviour at this age. my little boy is 2 in March and it seems to be his way of expressing his frustrations. Even though they can express themselves abit with speech their vocab isnt developed enough to express themselves fully and this is one of the only ways they can do it. I find its best to try and distract them when they do this but sometimes you cant reason with them and as long as theres nothing on the floor to bang themselves on i leave him a few mins to get his frustration out and then distract him with something interesting

Luanne - posted on 02/10/2010

my little girl use to do that too.. i think the 22 month stage is when that part takes effect in our/their lifes... i just use to pick my daughter up and cuddle her in my arms.. tell her that she had to ask for what she wanted or explain to her that it wasn't nice to throw a fit because she couldn't have something.....i found that explaining things to her, calmed her down and when she was ready she could show me what she wanted

Beth - posted on 01/30/2010

Ignoring doesn't seem to work for my kid. What do you do in the car when they are screaming their head off and it is bothering the new younger baby?

Kristi - posted on 01/29/2010

My son Blake has just recently (in the past month or two) started to throw himself on the floor too if he doesn't get his way. He also makes it a point to hit his head on the floor while he's down there. We just ignore the behavior. My husband noticed that after a while, Blake wasn't hitting his head as hard off the floor as he did at one point. And now, Blake hardly throws himself on the floor at all anymore. So, as long as your little boy isn't seriously hurting himself during his little fits, ignore it...it should go away!

Krystal - posted on 01/27/2010

my daughter threw terrible tantrums they would last 30 to 40 mins and can happen up to 6 times a day i just ignore her put her in her cot and let her go. I even took her to the peadiatrician and he said it was just her personality so i had to put up with it so i just try keep her busy because she is very bright and was going stir crazy at home so she now goes to daycare a day a week and i put her in gymbaroo a different day and then also a playgroup and thats helped heaps she is stimulated and having fun so the trantrums are now few and far between

Sandra - posted on 01/11/2010

I woudn't worry about it too much.
It is just the cusp of language development and frustration. Give your chn time to communicate with you as best they can and if possible allow them to complete it. My son (who is at the same age) throws wicked tantrums. When chn do this their brain activity is controlled by the primal brain so there is no reasoning. Support them agree with them if it isn't fair and wait till they calm down with not too much input from you. Once they are calm then you can discuss it with them. Other trains of thought are to just step over them and walk away... ignore the in appropriate behavior and accentuate the positive. If you observe what starts them off you can avoid or pre emt the situation.

Kayla - posted on 01/07/2010

I put hiim in the corner that seems to settle it. No longer then his Age ( 1 min) for now he understands thats not nice now.

Valerie - posted on 01/07/2010

My son does the same thing...he likes to bang his head on everything when he is mad. I ignore him (after I make sure he is safe). I just walk off and tell him when he wants to act like a big boy and talk to me then I will be (in whatever room Im going to). I keep an eye on him to make sure he is safe and I wait on him to come to me. It usually doesn't take him long before he realizes Im not paying attention to him and his tantrum stops.

Amy - posted on 01/07/2010

Pay no attention. Step over him.Leave the room if possible.It will stop quick.

Annette - posted on 01/07/2010

Quoting Ashley:

not spanking your kid in the long run will have them run over you. atleast i believe that, as a young child i was givin spankins and by age 4 i knew to obey and i can tell you now i had the best parents out there.

I do belive in "Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child" but we have  not had to or felt it was appropriate at his age ( 21 mos) for us to spank ours.(*Yet) I am sure there will come a day that it would be an approtipate punisment for something ... My husband has wanted to several times but I have always insisted on other things ( that have worked)  Like Time Outs or a nap!

Most parents do Spank out of their own anger. They are so frustrated, that Spanking just becomes the easist thing. Harder would be to train your child how to act by example and teaching. It takes much more time then just saying "Don't do that!" But if you think about it, Most of what they learn is from us ( parents) and they need to be taught what Obedience means, what behavior is appopriate to show how they feel, etc.  Train a Child in the ways they should go! We can't expect them to just be born and know how to act! =)

I was spanked, prob. 3-4 times as a child and I always was pre-warned and had to wait in my room for my parent to come and explain why I had to get spanked. It was devestating, but 1) it really didn't hurt my body at all, just my pride! and 2) I never repeated the offense! The spakings were for delibertly hurting a sibling, doing something very dangerous that  I knew better to do... and etc.   I thank my parents for knowing the appropriate disicpline at the appropriate times! =)

Annette - posted on 01/06/2010

Us too.. We use a time out rug and a one minute timer. Our 21 mo. old will actually sit there and not get up ( he sometimes tries, but we direct him to sit right back down) After the timer beeps we get on his level and calmly ask him "Do we yell and scream" and tell him why we "don't" and that he has to be nice to us just as we are nice to him. Sounds a bit too sympathetic, but it works for him. Its very repetitive, but now he totally gets it. Also, the "ignore" thing my sisters use and sometimes I do. Just pick him right up and place him in his room, crib, or a quiet place - tell him he can not act that way - and leave him alone for a few... come back and tell him "no more fits" - and if he starts in again, walk right back out- until he knows this type of behavior is not going to get your attention.
Facts show whatever we teach/train our children in the first 5 years is what is going to "stick" so we better stay on top of it now! =)

Ashley - posted on 01/06/2010

not spanking your kid in the long run will have them run over you. atleast i believe that, as a young child i was givin spankins and by age 4 i knew to obey and i can tell you now i had the best parents out there.

Kate - posted on 01/06/2010

I am experiencing this as well right now. My daughter will be 2 at the end of March. She has been impossible the last week. She cries 10 times a day, over everything (getting her PJ's off, new diaper on, getting dressed, having breakfast, getting on her coat, getting in her carseat, leaving from whereever we were and going back home, me telling her no for anything). Today was actually a good day. I focused on trying to smile at her more, not be so bitchy myself and tried to be more understanding. I don't think she cried once! But it's exhausting and I worry all the time about not being consistent, doing the wrong things etc...I DO NOT believe in spanking or biting my child. I think that shows a loss of control on the parent's part..it's just your own anger getting out of control and it teaches them to hit and bite even more when they are angry over something. My daughter does not hit or bite and has never been spanked or forced to do anything. It is nice to know that we are all going through it, that it is their age.
I just read a quote that said that kids this age HAVE to go through this stage, and not to take it personally. It is a part of their growth and helps them become individuals who think for themselves. We all want our children to be able to think for themselves, it's just the transition that is hard for everyone. Just try to remember that, and remember that hitting a child only teaches them a number of negative behaviours and feelings, nothing positive at all. They are just little innocent beings, who love us very strongly and when we betray their trust by raising a hand to them, you just open up a host of other issues.

Melissa - posted on 01/06/2010

i have had this too.... sammie's two year molars are coming in and she is in pain from that but over the weekend it lasted for hours at a time.... she ended up being constipated.... are you sure other things arent going on - similar to this?

also i work at a learning center that does birth - school age.... the toddlers and twos seem to just randomly throw fits - it is part of being two - they dont have all the words to express how they feel so tantrums and biting is what they do - :(

Ashley - posted on 01/06/2010

Am I the only one who still believes in giving spankings??? LOL!! My daughter is 22 months... I am at the point now where all I have to do is say oooonnneee... i don't even have to get to 2 or 3 because she knows what will happen. She gets spankins for not minding me and if she bites, i've learned the best way for her not to do it again is to barely bite her!

R. - posted on 01/06/2010

dont worry...my little girl does the same and will be two the beginning of March. for the most part i ignore the tantrums, because honestly do we want to have kids that scream until they get what they want. it seems mean and is hard to do sometimes, but they will and need to learn that they dont always get what they want when they want.
i look at my parenting as teaching as early as is possible. my daughter knows her manners already because as soon as she started to spit words out (even if they werent english lol) we started saying thank you when we gave her something and please before we gave it to her. i feel that you can never really do anything too early. they will decide when they want to learn it but it is our responsibility as parents to teach them necessities.
try even explaining when they throw the fit why they cannot have or do whatever it is you said no to. the sooner you start things like this the easier it will be when they get older...good luck!!

Audrey - posted on 01/06/2010

My son does the same thing. he is almost 2 as well. I sit him in time out but sometimes he will scream the whole time he is in time out. he understands no,but of course if he wants something bad enough he will do it anyway. Time outs dont really work for my son. i have tried to put him in his play pen in the living room and tell him no, you were a bad boy, and try not to give him any attention ( just as another mom said below me) because all he wants is my attention, but he is stubborn like his father, and he screams so loud, kicks, he just all around has a fit. I have tried tapping his hand, not hard, but just enough to know that what ever he was grabbing for was a no no, it seems to work slightly. It all Depends on the object he is going after. I do not know what to do either. I hope someone has the answer.

Rachel - posted on 01/06/2010

My youngest is almost 22 months and he will scream a high pitched scream I put my hand on his chest and CALMLY say his name and look him in the eye it doesn't take long and he will stop. I DO NOT GIVE HIM WHAT HE WAS PITCHIN THE FIT OVER and explain to him that what he just did was a no no and will not be rewarded. He does understand rewards because that is what we are doing after the "pot pot"

Kirsten - posted on 01/05/2010

How refeshing to read this link! Thanks Betsy - its nice to be reminded this isn't forever and the fantastic fours, fun fives and super sixes are on there way!

Meredith - posted on 01/05/2010

Well, I tend to do the ignoring thing when it comes to tantrums too but my problem with my 22 month old is time outs don't seem to effect her. You tell her to stop jumping on the couch and she cont while looking directly at you...of course. She's taken to the TO chair and she gets up (which I return her) then once it's over, she's back to jumping on the couch. I've been doing this for a few months and it doesn't seem to be effective. Any thoughts?

Nicole - posted on 01/05/2010

Yep my 22 month old has a temper just like her daddy :)

Krystal - posted on 01/04/2010

When my daughter was 21 months old she threw temper tantrums like that too. She would get so upset she would even throw up. At first I made the mistake of picking her up and trying to console her but quickly realized that the fits just got worse and I was going about it all wrong. Eventually I started to just ignore her and let her throw the fit and get it out of her system but now I've started doing time outs. Whenever she starts throwing a fit I sit her in her chair and tell her she's in time out. It didn't take long before she knew what time outs were. I usually make her sit in the chair for a minute or two, but it depends on how upset she is. Sometimes it can be longer because she hasn't calmed down after 2 minutes. When she's done throwing her fit (or 2 minutes have passed) I have her get up and say she's sorry, give me a hug, and then everything is good after that. So.....I would say to try to ignore the fit. Walk away, walk out of the room, or just simply don't look at him. If you are in public though, I would take him to the car and make him sit in his car seat until he's done. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Jamie - posted on 01/04/2010

Yea, I am currently having the same situation myself. Pretty sure its the "terrible twos".Everyone seems to be having or had the same problem. every kid is different so each one will throw their fits in ther eown unique way. How to fix it? lol wait....... and hope it stop when they turn 3.

Heather - posted on 01/04/2010

my little boy had this problem too and when ever he did I would put him in his room (with the door open )for time out and never gave in to him and when he did it in a resturant I took him to the car and let everyone else eat while we waited till he was ok. it sounds mean and it's going to tear your heart but it's the only way for them to know that it's not alright to behave that way. Oh yeah most important part when time out is over get eye level and tell them when you act like this it hurts mommy after a 1/2 dozen times theywill get it and start giving you huges then the will stop all together.

Kayleigh - posted on 01/04/2010

We have naughty chair. U have to ry and stay calm and be consistent dont let them win. lol

Tracy - posted on 01/04/2010

Ignore it as best you can. If he doesn't get a reaction out of you he'll probably tone it down. They get so frustrated at this age since they have so much to communicate and limited ability to do so. We sometimes have to resort to a time away for our 21 month old. We put him in his room, after a warning and let him settle down for a couple of minutes then we go in and talk to him to try and figure out what the issue was. He responds yes or no so that helps.

Jean - posted on 01/04/2010

Well, I've learned that a tantrum requires an audience. Seriously, that's about it. Your child is trying to get your attention for whatever reason, and throwing a tantrum gives him exactly what he's asking for. It may or may not be the attention he wants, but none the less-- he's got you, right?



If you have the strength, I suggest (now I've done this and over time-- again, over time) IGNORE THE BEHAVIOR; it works. Simply put: ignore every whimper, every tear, scream, pout... ignore it all. Soon enough he'll realize his tantrums just don't work. Kids are brilliant and will find other ways to get Mommy's attention, all within reason.

Jo - posted on 01/04/2010

We're getting a few but I do tend to walk away,and without the audience it seems to fizzle out.Matilda's quite a calm sort of person.My now 5 year old used to have tantrums like no otherWe used to have big food issues,in the end I'd just tell him if he wanted to join the family for dinner,he was to behave nicely,or he could go sit on the step and we'd carry on without him.He was usual ready to come join usagain after a couple of minutes.Most times though you it was tiredness,changes to routine that set him off.You couldn't calm him down,he couldn't even hear you.The only thing we could do was ride the storm,and remove all potential weapons,and if you're in a public space ignore those looks from people,or go hide in the car till it blows over.It's improved as his understanding and language skills have,so it does pass.

Melissa - posted on 01/04/2010

Geez I'm glad I'm not the only one having issues. I have a 21 month old son & a 6 month old daughter. My daughter is at a cute age & loves her food. But with my 21 month old son, he has become very fussy with food and will have a tantrum every nite at meal time & has sometimes gone to bed without tea. They say to put the same food infront of them at least 10 times, but my son has me all worked out & it doesnt work with him. I'm at the stage of buying frozen fish & chicken patties, instead of giving what we eat, just so he's eating something substantial. So i'm having issues with him & food at the moment. When he gets into his tantrum he pulls hair (even his little sisters) so i have to watch him all the time & it makes it really hard when i go places. He bangs his head on the floor, wall, whatever he can & yells. I try & calm him down & tell him to stop sometimes, but never works. So i just IGNORE it & he seems to calm himself down within a minute or 2. Sometimes I can distract him with something else (take him outside & let him run around for a bit) when i can see a tantrum coming on, but doenst work all the time.

Karen - posted on 01/04/2010

We have the same problem.

Dawn-Marie - posted on 01/03/2010

Seriuously, IGNORE it I know it's hard but walk away , and dont acknowledge it. They want attention and will doanything to get it ... If you cave in everytime to tehre tantrums they always know what buttons to push .. SO ignore it and walk away and with me I walk and away and tell her to use her words with me ( she speaks pretty well oir signs it) eventually they DO give up and stop

Kirsten - posted on 01/03/2010

when ur child has a huuuggee fit like that....IGNORE totally ignore it, and they will stop. i tried it with my son and in 10mins he started smiling and laughing again. just make sure they r safe and i think its the best way at this age anyways. my son is 22 months also...sometimes if its just a normal fit i can get him back before he get into a blowout fit with no turning back by getting his mind off it and it works too....goodluck. everyone deal with it

Nicky - posted on 01/03/2010

I'm SO relieved to find this thread. I have a 22 month old who was an absolute angel until about 3 weeks ago and is now the Queen of Tantrum land. And boy has she got stamina. She had a tantrum that lasted for nearly 2 hours yesterday and I was about ready to put her out on the verge for rubbish collection when I found this thread. It really is all about finding what works for both you and your child. I'm working more on positive reinforcement for the behaviours we want rather than waiting until the negative behaviours happen and then relying on punishment to correct them.
However that doesn't always work and timeout doesn't work for us as she is quite happy to amuse herself wherever she is (even in the hallway, staring at a wall, she will sing to herself) but she hates being deliberately ignored so we leave her in a safe place to get on with her tantrum and we stay nearby and make a big deal of doing something without her which she hates but my question is how far do you push it and for how long? As I've said my girl is STUBBORN (like her Mum) and she can go on for hours if I continue to try to enforce the rule she broke which started the tantrum in the first place. I'm sure she gets to a point where she doesn't even remember why she's screaming or saying NO!!! at me but at what point do I back down. I don't want to get into the habit of giving in to her just to stop the tantrum.

Jane - posted on 01/03/2010

We throw little "parties" on the side whenever our 22 month old is whiny. He's not into tantrums yet, but he is pretty grumpy during the day. I have noticed when my 6 year old and I start dancing and laughing, it tends to snap him out of his grumpy mood. At least for an hour or so!

Teresa - posted on 01/03/2010

Ya. I would have to say that time outs have worked the best for controlling tantrums. My girls both hate getting into trouble and they learn quickly when put in time out. I have a 3yo and a 22mo old. My 3yo on the way to time out now will automatically say, 'I sorry. I sorry'. My 22mo old will stop crying and throwing a fit when she finds out she's going to time out too. But if they don't stop crying or whining. They stay in time out longer.

Candace - posted on 01/03/2010

Yes, my 21 month old son has already hit his terrible two's. He is hitting, slapping, kicking, ect... and he finds it very amusing. I have read alot of your tips so i'm hoping to find one that works and i can stick with it. It sure is nice to have other peoples opinion on this matter cuz all the help I can get is so much better for me and my son. Thanks too all!!