addicted to breastfeeding???

Simona - posted on 12/18/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi moms!
I need some advise as my daughter will turn 9 months on Christmas,I'm still breastfeeding but I want to wean her off the breast on her 1st b-day. The problem is she falls asleep on the breast, that's the only way, and she sleeps in our bed.She doesn't take any bottles or pacifiers...never did! So how am I ever going to put her to sleep without the breast and without tears???? please offer any experience you had! thanks!

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Simona - posted on 05/25/2012

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Well what worked for us after these years was going cold turkey...I breastfed her till she was 20 months old, and as she needed me as her soother and her pacifier she almost drove me crazy in the end....so my husband had to take off work 1 week, and we gave her the bottle and he put her to sleep every night...but it was a nightmare...she was crying like possessed and then she hated me...because I turned her down, as she begged and tried for days to let her breastfeed...it was really traumatic for me and her I think..
Anyway things were going well for a month or two while I was trying to avoid her seeing me naked till one day she did, as i thought she had forgotten all about it...and now she is obsessed with boobs...she wants to grab and kiss and touch them, not just mine but all the women in the family...I wish a professional could tell me if we traumatized her and if we did, if there's sth we could do to undo it....
She is now a smart, healthy ,funny and happy toddler , 3 years old...but I dont know if I should have done sth different at the time...I just had no more patience and no other choice...

Kira - posted on 12/20/2009

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I almost have the same problem as you have. My son wouldnt take any pacaifier but one kind. It had to be the one that was tight against the face. It made him feel safe. We have never been able to get him to take bottles only one kind of sippy cup its about $3.50 its a Nuby that I found at Walmart. The way I started trying to get him to have something else to suck on was I started nursing him once a day. I just had to stop giving in when he wanted to nurse to sleep or just cause. We would offer him whole milk warmed up. After about 2 days he started actually wanting it then my milk. Then after a week of nursing him in the morning only. He stopped wanting to nurse all together. Now hes on whole milk only. He never liked formula so his doctor said it was ok to just have the whole milk. From the day that we started working on him taking a sippy to the day he was done with nursing was 12 days.

Renae - posted on 12/19/2009

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Hi Simona,

You should read the book No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and start putting it in place now because her methods are very gentle and can take a few months to work. She has some methods specially for babies who feed to sleep.



The simple fact is, she is going to have to learn to go to sleep on her own. It is much easier on her if she also stops sleeping in your bed. It will be very distressing for her to have you right there but expecting her to go to sleep on her own. She will be better off if you are not there.



To teach her to go to sleep you have several options. No-cry methods and crying methods. Crying methods are most effective, have higher success rates and work quickly. No cry methods are gentle and require some time and patience.



If you use a crying method I recommend you use crying it out with cry interpretation. I am not an advocate of control crying or any method where you go in and check on them as each time you go into them, you must leave again, and when you leave they go through the initial distress of being left all over again and it makes the baby more and more distressed. If you use a crying method and leave her to figure out she is supposed to go to sleep and do some research on cry interpretation and listen to her cries so that you know if she needs you, you can cry it out without distressing your baby. This method is very effective and is usually not nearly as bad as mum's expected.



The most common no-cry option is gradual withdrawal. This is where you gradually withdraw the baby from needing your help to go to sleep. This has an 80% success rate and takes 2-4 weeks.



Another no-cry method is that of UK baby whisperer Tracey Hogg, called Pick-up/Put-down. She has a website with a support forum for people using the method. Her book is called "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer".



If you are planning on stopping in 3 months, I think you really need to get her used to a cup or bottle now so she can get the milk she needs some other way.



There is lots of info out there if you google any of the above methods. You are also more than welcome to contact me for info or instructions on anything I have said (if I include it all this post will be too long).



PS all breastfed babies are addicted to breastfeeding. Breastfeeding sets off "happy" signals in their little brains which is why they get so excited when they know its coming (they all do the happy excited kick and giggle while you're getting it out - that's normal behaviour). A few babies wean themselves, usually not by choice but because the quality of mums milk becomes thin and watery, but most would stay on there forever if you let them.

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8 Comments

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Simona - posted on 05/25/2012

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Andreea my problem was exactly the same!!! exactly! I wonder how did you cope with it??it's been a few years since then..so what worked for your son??

Tracey - posted on 05/24/2012

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I can relate! I'll be watching this post. My baby girl is 6 months and we do the exact same thing. I haven't even thought about weaning yet but certainly will be.

Andreea - posted on 12/21/2009

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I have the same problem. My son is 8 1/2 and im planning one taking him of the boob at 12mths. When he was about 2mths we did the cry it out method and he was sleeping on his own after the 2nd day. At 2 1/2 mths we went to Europe for 3mths and it was easier to co sleep and put him on the boob....now im paying the price. He goes to sleep on the boob and searches 4-5 times at night for it to to feed or just suck for a few moments. If the boob is not there he cries and wakes up. If i give it to him while he is stirring he continues sleeping. He wont take a bottle or pacifier. He sleeps in his own cot which is placed next to my bed. We took of the side pannel and the cot is flush with my bed. This way I dont have to get up during the night to pick him up and bring him to my bed. Im not looking forward to 12mths and even contimplated breastfeeding until later just to put it of. I would love it if he would just wake up 1-2 times but im running out of patience and sleep. Also because he feeds so much during the night he dosent want to eat a lot of solids. If he wasnt so cute and so well behaved i would have done the cry it out method a while ago but his little smile just melts me so for now ill just put up with it. Im foolishly hoping to reason with him in a couple of mths or bribe him some way lol. I'll tell you what....my next one wont be so lucky, ive learned my lesson.

Vanessa - posted on 12/20/2009

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I will probably be running into the same problem soon too. My daughter only slept with us for the longest time, and fell asleep on the milk, took it while I was asleep when she slept with us... now she sleeps in her bed next to ours, and I feed her, then place her in her bed. I guess if you do not want any tears, then you're going to have to slowly change things up. Try one thing at a time, but make sure you give her time to get used to the change before you add something else. For us, it got to the point where we couldn't sleep anymore, no more room on the bed, etc. or it was dangerous because she would crawl around while we were asleep and almost fell off a few times. We had to do it the hard way, and let her cry herself to sleep (trust me, was NOT easy! we cried just listening to her cry!!) but she finally learned to put herself to sleep just after 2 days, no more tears, eats before bedtime, etc.

You'll find a way that's best for her. You know your baby better than anyone, just listen to what she wants and needs, and try to adjust things so she will understand them better :)

Daniela - posted on 12/20/2009

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I went through something similar although this was when my son was 3 - 4 months old.He would only fall asleep on the breast or in the car. Not practical. We ended up doing sleep training / controlled crying with him to get him used to going to sleep by himself. It was very stressful at first but worth it. Once you have got her used to settling herself in her own bed, then you can work on getting her off the breast.

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