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How to resolve toddler showing preference/favouritism of a parent over another?

Norhuda - posted on 02/23/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I need help! My almost 3 year old daughter has always shown a preference for me over her dad. Its coming to the point of impossibility for me. It has come to the point that I am resentful that he is 'allowed' not to help out since she will scream whenever he comes near her (during those diff moments) and I have to do everything for her, and her dad is not allowed to even touch her. At one point, she was much better but she's swung to the other extreme again. FYI, we are both extremely busy parents, happy with the occasional arguments, but otherwise in a stable, healthy relationship. I keep telling her to love her Papa equally but she just doesn't prefer him. He is by nature a quieter, non-confrontational sort of person, whereas my daughter follows more like me, gregarious by nature, more an extrovert and more domineering when dealing with family members. Any advice on how to resolve favouritism is much appreciated! :))

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Norhuda - posted on 03/09/2012

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Thanks Dawn! Its nice to know that we're not the only one experiencing her extreme mood swings.. Yup, her daddy needs to step up to get her attention and spend more time with her, in the meantime, I'll just persevere on.. It just occured to me that maybe her extreme preference to me over her daddy could stem from the fact that she has a new younger sibling and that as I spend time breastfeeding her sis, she could also be jealous of the attention her sis is getting from me..

Dawn - posted on 03/06/2012

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I agree with Katherine. My almost 3 year old daughter was the same way...drove me absolutely insane! And it sure didn't help her dad 'cause he referred to himself as the dirt stuck on sh*t on the bottom of a shoe when mommy was around. But he would take her and our oldest swimming or skating sometimes and now, when she's hurt or wants something, she sometimes goes running to daddy instead of me (thank god!) Still has her mommy only days though. Good luck!

Norhuda - posted on 03/05/2012

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Thanks Katherine! Since my post, I've decided to put on a united front with the hubs and got my daughter to recognise its not one or either of us, but that she has parents. We've also taken turns to issue timeout to her - when she starts her crankiness as well as positive rewards to her. So far, it has kinda helped. Last night, she snuggled up to her Daddy! :)

Katherine - posted on 02/24/2012

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I so know how you feel. It's exhausting and maddening! Maybe if he actually took her out and did stuff with her, just the 2 of them it would help? That's the best way to deal with it. Before my separation I had the same issues. Now that daddy takes them everywhere it's much better.

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