Military Mom Lost custody of baby

Virginia - posted on 03/27/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Active military mom who was granted secondary joint custody of a 2 year old child. Child support order currently $939/monthly. Left with all martial debt. Spouse was caught is several adulterous relationships, has no steady work history and knew of approaching deployment. Date of marriage 18 June 2008, birth of son 18 March 2009, date of separation 18 March 2010, completion of separation 18 March 2011 and divorce to follow.

Since separation, custody of one week per month of visitation was granted to myself and upon each visitation our son was admitted for care for constant ear infections, delayed speech, allergic reactions to peanuts and upper respiratory infections. Spouse has exposed minor child to several relationships and quit employment to live with parents. Upon trial spouse was hired by family friend to work at an auto parts store as a manager. Due to his testimony, spouse plans to remain in the state of North Carolina where his family also resides for the duration of his life and requested sole custody of child.

The judge rule for spouse to have primary custody and myself secondary custody with visitation of two weeks of visitation in April, October, before deployment, after deployment and alternating holidays. I am also responsible for funding all transportation.

My home of record is Oklahoma. 9 years of service.

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7 Comments

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Danielle - posted on 05/23/2011

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I'm not sure how it works in the states, family law is a anything goes type, He's only winning b/c he's proving he has help with your son, a support system, you can play dirty but i will add, it's very time consuming and frustrating to get what you want not to note the judge is a moron, out here in canada, it's a who files first for sole custody gets it, sick I know I sort of lucked out with my son,and i both almost being set on fire by the prick, You need to appeal or exparte the order with proper evidence of the child being exposde to his allergies and play on it go to Children services yes they will treat you like crap too but if your first to complain about your childs well-being they have to investigate, that will give you the means to try for an emergency temprory custody order giving you primary care, til he proves you wrong, make sure everything you have on him, and i mean everything drugs, criminal records even if pardoned, are brought up to a new judge, pictures, even his angry e-mails or texts will do. You may never be able to leave the country with your son without written consent. you need to make sure whatever he threw against you in court you have paper proof he's lieing, character references from friends, co-workers. go in for an exparte order prove he's the unfit one, and at least settle for shared parenting, has for your monthly payments, well worry about that last, Don't back down til it goes down to shared custody where you become the primary and then make up your mind on how nice you want to be. like i said i wasn't lucky at first they arrested me for saving my son's life from his sperm donar, but i'm an ass, I only fight when i have to and for whaats right. hope this helps it sucks not having your baby with you, Helpful tip from my therapist to help you push for what's right, Stay mad at him, til it's made fair. all the best hope it helps

Amanada - posted on 04/09/2011

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Take him back to court. Get people that will testify on your behalf. I dont know who your are but i now that if that happen to me i would be totally deppresed. good luck!

Virginia - posted on 03/29/2011

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I did not get custody because I am military and it is the assumption that he was my support system.

They basically viewed him as the woman and me as the male.

Katherine - posted on 03/29/2011

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I don't have any advice, but I saw no one responded. I don't know what to say.....why didn't you get custody?

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