Amanda - posted on 05/23/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
My three-year-old is driving me insane. He is so smart. He knows his letters, counts to 20, counts to 100 by tens, he memorizes songs that we sing and books that we read, he says please and thank you. He is smart as a whip, but he just doesn't seem to listen. I know it sounds strange, because he learns so fast, but when asked a question he doesn't respond. He doesn't even respond to his name. I have to actually get in front of him to get him to pay attention to what I'm saying. I can't take him to restaurants because he doesn't fit in the high chair anymore and won't sit still in a chair or booster. I can't take him to the photographer because he won't sit or stand still long enough to get a photo taken. This all sounds so normal for a three year old, but it goes on ALL THE TIME. I've started to think he may have some form of autism. However, his doctor says that he probably doesn't because he hits his milestones. He is too young to test for ADHD. I am at my wits end. I don't know what to do. People say I can potty train him by offering a reward. What if he doesn't care about a reward? What if when I ask him if he wants peanut butter on his sandwich or cheese, he just doesn't respond? He says he wants a cookie(he doesn't actually say "I want a cookie." He just says "cookie"), I say no and he just keeps saying cookie cookie cookie. If I say yes and offer him a choice of chocolate chip or animal cookie he doesn't answer. He should be able to answer a question. What show do you want to watch? What toy do you want to play with? What book do you want to read? Do you want to sing? He says "snack" I say what kind of snack, banana or crackers? Nothing. I get nothing from this kid. I am at my wits end.
Does anyone have ANY advice? I don't know what to do. I cut back on sugar, no change. I only let him watch two tv shows a day, nothing. I take him to the park so he can get some energy out, no change. I don't know what else to do. I know I can't keep strapping him into high chairs to get him to eat quietly. But when I let him sit in a chair or at his little table he is up running around tossing bits of sandwich, spitting out food he doesn't want, spilling his milk. I have an eight month old too. How am I supposed to continue caring for two kids at the same time who seem to need equal amounts of attention and care. He's 3. I realize that he still needs a lot, but I shouldn't have to spoon feed him anymore. He KNOWS how to use a spoon and even a fork. He chooses to toss his food around anyway. He acts like a baby.
I know you aren't supposed to compare your kids to other peoples, but I know people with kids who are two and can sit in a booster seat or point to something and say "I want that". Or even say "Hi Mommy". Tommy never calls me Mommy. He doesn't call my husband Daddy either. He never uses proper nouns. Tommy, Joey (his brother), Auntie, Mommy, Daddy, Grandma. If you say "Tommy, how old are you?" You get no response. Its like he can't hear me, but I know he can. He memorizes books that I read, songs I sing and so on. He's listening but not.
Now, I'm just rambling, and crying. I haven't been able to really talk about this to anyone, so here strangers, judge away but please, I beg you, leave me with some advice that isn't "Normal 3 year old behavior". Trust me when I say, it's not. It can't be. I love him, but either something is going on with him or something is WRONG with me.