I HATE my fiances mom!

Michelle - posted on 06/22/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )

185

15

8

We had Ethan March 24th, he has been the best baby I could ever be blessed with!!!! His baptism was this past Sunday (Fathers Day) and we had a little get together at his moms.

Now, normally I can mind my own and bite my tongue... But I have had it!!!!!!!!!!! She was SO rude & snippy to me, my family, my fiance, and my nieces! Who the hell does she think she is?!? She was holding Ethan & came up to me after her side of the family held him & HER friends... Then has the balls to tell me she's taking him upstairs to lay him down... I was like NO, I have family from out of town who are still waiting to hold him, he'll sleep in their arms. She was SO pissed, handed him off & walked away. I am SO tired of that woman! I guess I gotta start being a *itch to her. Oh and my fiance asked if she would put the cake in the fridge, otherwise it would get ruined... yeh, she didn't & it got ruined.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kimberly - posted on 06/24/2010

709

64

92

Remember that Ethan is yours, and that you and your fiance are his parents. That means, what you say goes when it comes to Ethan. Her behaviour is not something you can control, but you can control yours. If she's not willing to work with you, that is her loss.

Jennifer - posted on 06/22/2010

4

14

0

I have in-laws that i dont like at all. They want it their way and that is how they want it. They want to be the boss of everybody. You have to remember your baby is your's. It doesnt matter what they think is the best it is want you think is the best. You just have to put your foot down so she knows you mean bussiness, I have a very hard time doing that myself.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

29 Comments

View replies by

Shaunna - posted on 08/11/2010

38

25

4

nice. yeah im doing laundry and trying to figure out what to bid for this big t-shirt printing job i got today. not the 200 shirt job i was told it was gonna be but it's still 70-100 12-colored shirts. pretty good i think for my first customer at my sign business

Michelle - posted on 08/09/2010

185

15

8

I'm now laid off for 6 weeks (injury to my shoulder) well today I was going to clean & do laundry blah blah blah... Our place is not a mess. I try to keep it up as much as possible. As for today, I spent it with Ethan. He was screeching, giggling and all smiles all day. And he took his naps while I cuddled with him. It was great. Chris comes home looks around & says, "you got a lot done.." I was like, "F U, I am NOT a maid! you can clean around here too." then I threw a little chuckle in there & said there's a dictionary on the bookshelf, look up the meaning of "clean" He was pissed, but did the dishes & straightened things up a little bit.

Shaunna - posted on 08/09/2010

38

25

4

lol i know exactly how that is. last week i asked my husband to get the boys dressed while i was working lunch at the pizza place i work at so that i could just lay them down for a nap once he left for work after i got home and so when they got up all i would have to do to get them ready to go to my grandma's so i could go to work again (tuesdays i work lunch, come home, and then go back 3-4 hours later to work dinner) is put on their shoes. of course he didn't. today i asked him if he could change our 21 month old lukas' diaper since i've changed every one pretty much for the past week since he's been busy with work and working on other stuff. well he said he would but was spaced out watching tv and after 20 minutes of waiting i went and changed him myself. he ended coming in there when i was pretty much done and said well i was gonna do that baby. i told him yeah one hour from now when it was going up his back. but yeah i know how you feel. my husband is always doing the same stuff

Michelle - posted on 07/22/2010

185

15

8

ha got a chuckle from "female version of Satan" My fiance's another one. I work 45-60hrs (depends) a week. I am SO tired by the time Im done. My job is far from easy. Then I come home & want nothing to do, but spend all of it with Ethan. So I get to see him for that hour before he falls asleep. I come home and take care of Ethan, sometimes I cook (mostly Chris does that) and I clean. What bugs the shit outta me, and he knows this too.... he'll say, "Im going to clean or HELP you clean today." He left me with a bigger mess than what I started out with once before, and then each time he says this, he never pulls through. I end up doing everything AND taking care of Ethan! One day when I wasnt working yet, I said I needed a break.. I was going to the laundry mat.. I didnt wanna take Ethan because he was such a crab.. I ended up taking him cause Chris couldnt handle him. At least he was good though. Chris told me again tonight he would clean tomorrow while I was working. I laughed & told him not to bother. I know what it means.

Shaunna - posted on 07/16/2010

38

25

4

Yeah, pretty much I'd say just be as courteous as possible to her but let her know that what you want for your son is what's gonna happen. I know i have to deal with my stepson's mother and she is the female version of Satan but i have to be courteous even though id rather hit her in the head with a bat for some of the things she's said and done trying to ruin our family. So i just bite my tongue and keep my answers short.

Michelle - posted on 07/16/2010

185

15

8

I felt like I lost my own child. It was completely hard on me. But knowing he's healthy, safe, taken care of & loved... I'm happy knowing all of that. She knows also I would care for her children any day. And if something would happen to Chris & I, I want my own child to go to her. We look so much alike & seeing she has the 3 boys, I would trust her first. And my sister & her husband are also set. He's a dentist, shes an assistant.

When I lost my first child, I felt the same way when I lost Jacob. My other sister has 2 girls. I had a very strong bond with the oldest & the other one, as bad as it sounds, I didnt want anything to do with her. My sis was packing her things & moving to the other side of the country. Her baby was a month old at the time, she came home last May, the bond with the older daughter was still there... And the other one, Im TRYING to want more to do with her, but I just dont. I dont treat her any differently. I play with her and her sister equally... I would just rather spend it with Andi. I sound like a horrible person, I just dont have that bond with her, shes almost 3 yrs now, and I cant form it!

Kayla - posted on 07/06/2010

19

18

0

Michelle-
I have! And they've done nothing and I'm sure the reason they've done nothing is because their cases are through the tribe so their rules are different. I dont think I could handle taking care of a child for 2 years and then have them ripped away..even tho they're not my children I still love them the same.Thats why I'm thankful we'll be adopting shortly since we've passed the home study.
Its awesome what you did.I haven't met anyone else that's taken that kind of task so young.

Kimberly - posted on 07/04/2010

709

64

92

I'm sorry to hear that you all have such horrible mother in laws. I've gotten along with my in laws, and my exes' parents as well. The same cannot be said however for my mother. While she isn't a bitch as described here, she hates the biological father of my baby and would likely kill him if she ever saw him again....because of him i'm bankrupt and was living in a city across the country where i was miserable...now he's gone and all is well! :)

Hang in there ladies, and drop me a line if you need a friendly ear!

Michelle - posted on 07/04/2010

185

15

8

Kayla-

That is just awful!!! I'd report her ass!

My sister was 21 when she had her first son. She wasnt doing any drugs, drank here & there (before and after the pregnancy), but just wasnt ready to have a baby. So one night she said she was going by her bf in another city (an hour away) and she would be back in the morning... 2 years later I turned 18. I worked full time, I dropped out of HS to work and care for my nephew, had my own place and didnt ask for any help. Other than the babysitters. I quit drinking, smoking & doing drugs because I did not want him around that. A month after I turned 18, I made a decision to call my sis again (even though I always got her voicemail) and I told her, "obviously you don't want your 2 yr old, so make this easier on me & sign off your rights & give them to me) A week later she was there to get him. I was so devastated. He would call me mom here & there, but then I would show a picture of my sister & tell him that was his mom, I didnt want him to do that. When she got him, it was easier on him knowing she was his mom. Hes 10 now, shes got 2 other boys and to be honest, me & her are closer than ever. It was an experience thats for sure. Now I have my own son and finally starting my life. But Im still happy :)

Kayla - posted on 07/01/2010

19

18

0

I definately know how you feel but my situation is a little different.My fiance and I have custody of his two neices..The first one was taken from her mother by CPS because of neglect and we've had her for almost a year now and his other one was placed with us when she was released from the hospital in March because she was born addicted to Meth. My fiance's mother was just released from prison and doesnt think its fair that she doesnt recieve unsupervised visits with her grandchildren.And recently we found out she has been drinking and smoking meth. She thinks I'm the most horrible person in the world for keeping the children from her and her daughter which is also still using after what she has put her children through. Mind you I am only 21,My fiance is 22 and his neices are 13months and 3 months and we're the bad guys.We are also getting my fiance's little brothers on weekends who are in foster care and when I threatened to tell caseworkers what she has been doing she threatened to come to my door and kick my @$$! She is nuts.
Recently she tried to reconcile with her son and "apologize" to me through him but I still cannot stand her and I Do not trust her!

woo it felt good to vent that lol

Jessica - posted on 07/01/2010

230

46

0

I don't know my real mother in law, as she has not been a part of my husband's life since he was 3. However, his step-mother is similar at times. She seems to think that since she has 3 daughters of her own that she automatically knows what is best for my two sons. When our oldest was 11 months, she lost the chance to watch him while we went to Colorado for a wedding because she thought she could make the decision to send our son to a daycare provider we had never met, without consulting us first! Luckily, because she is his step mother, he sided with me and understands where I am coming from. Oh, and they only live 25 minutes away, but if we want them to watch the boys, we have to drive to them, even if where we are going is in the opposite direction from there house! However, my parents, who live 4 hours away, will come out here even just for the day so they can see their grandchildren.

Good luck with your MIL and stick to your guns! Only you know what is best for YOUR child!!

Krystin - posted on 07/01/2010

21

12

0

This may be inappropriate but scramble to words to mother in law and you get woman hitler. Im so sorry that she is hard to handle.

Michelle - posted on 06/29/2010

185

15

8

Just wanted to tell each of you that you're all amazing..Thanks for the advice & giving me worse horror stories than my own.

Rachel - posted on 06/29/2010

13

5

1

Its your baby and your life and if she wants to be a part of your life your baby included she needs to be respectful. When it comes to your son you are the boss. If she does not like it then tough. I would not be mean in telling her but i would make it clear that she is not in charge. Also your son should not have to see anyone being rude to you. What will that teach him?

Emily - posted on 06/29/2010

110

1

5

well, to make things even more crappy. My MIL called my husband saying that he only calls when he wants something and then turns around and calls us to house sit. housesit! Its not like we have enough on our plates, a baby at home, (which we will now have to pack everything for). I just can't believe her. Over here B*****in out my husband about not calling unless he wants somethin (which he doesnt, my opinion, if she wasnt a B**** then we would spend more time with her) and then the next day calls to see if we will housesit. Its retarded. I dont want to and I told dustin that he should have said no. I have family coming in this weekend that we dont get to see all that often, (this is the first time since 2 christmas's ago) but im supposed to drop all of my plans to freakin house sit?!?! I have never hated anyone sooooo much. Well theres 2 other people I hate as much, the woman who killed my uncle and the guy who decided to screw my family and a lot of other familys over. Took money without even trying to pay it back, and a business that was half his and half my familys and locked out my family after we had spent thousands of dollars on the furniture.. that is how much i hate this woman.

Michelle - posted on 06/29/2010

381

12

68

Oh my goodness!! I can not believe how some MIL can be!!! I am soo sorry that some of you have to put up with this sort of drama. I don't understand why these people can not be respectful toward you guys. I feel so blessed that I get along so well with my MIL. (Could it be cause she lives a few states away?) LOL just kidding, she is actually a great person! She is so much like my husband so that is why I get along well with her. After losing my mom to her battle to breast cancer in 2006 I see my MIL more as a mother figure to me. I am very greatful toward her. I hope for those of you that are having difficulty with your in-laws things will get better for you.

Tonya - posted on 06/28/2010

1

11

0

I can relate to each and every one of you. I've had 17 years of a mean and nasty person to deal with. She's not my husband's mom, but his sister. His mom passed when he was young so he was raised by his older *itchy sister. I have 7 children and she seems to play favorites with them which I hate very much. My older children have caught on to it and they put their own stops to it which I love. I've had to take myself out of the picture for a very long time. My advice would be to remove yourself for as long as you like. I told my husband that I would never keep him from seeing or talking to his sister, but don't expect me to subject myself to ridicule. It's only so much a person can take before we go off, sometimes on the wrong person. There will be times after you're married when you'll have to hold byour tonge and there will also be times when you will NEED to speak up for yourself, your son, and your family. Good Luck and God Bless!

[deleted account]

Oh believe me, I feel your pain. My in law is ridiculous and she says the sneakiest nasty things to me all the time. I just point it out to my husband but I dont say anything to her that way he can notice it and correct her without it seeming like I am trying to stir things up or make him feel like he has to choose. It has worked great so far! But yeah, he is your baby so your decision what he does. We had to be very clear with her on that.

Michelle - posted on 06/26/2010

185

15

8

Oh wow! I am so sorry about your loss! :( I lost my first baby too. I didnt want kids, I was on birth control, and then bam I got pregnant. I wasn't even excited. I found out a very short time later it was an ectopic pregnancy & going through everything I realized I was more depressed after losing that baby. I got pregnant again last July to my healthy, beautiful little monster :) I love him so much, I changed my mind about having kids, I want like a bunch more!!! :) He's amazing! :)

I can only imagine the horror stories you & your husbands been put through. :( Best of luck as well. (if you ever need to talk or vent, feel free)

Jayne - posted on 06/26/2010

66

26

9

I have had endless problems with my lying b&*ch of a MIL. To make it worse my husband's real mother passed when he was 14 months old, They only just saw our new son a couple of weeks ago for the first time and e is 4 months old! It wasn't my fault, they didn't want to see me so they didn't see the baby. I don't care really it is their loss. Our first baby was born in Jan 09 and died shortly after birth in NICU due to unforseen probs in labour, it was totally unexpected and I was full term, she was falsley nice to me for about a week and then the shit and lies started again. Our little boy Jamie that was born in March of this year will never see them without me, he is my responsibility and I don't trust her as she has always treated my husband badly scince he was a childl. I will smile and play nice, I can't even tell you all of the pain she has put me through, even on our wedding day but I can say I will not let her hurt my son, he is my son and I make his decisions until he is able to make his own, she can see him whenever but I will be there. Sorry if I got a bit too emotional but I know too well of this dilema, hopefully you can sort things out with her, all the best xoxox

Michelle - posted on 06/26/2010

185

15

8

Wow!! I would've flipped the hell out with everything you said! You make my future MIL look like a damn saint! I still dont like that woman.... So why was your baby early or just happened?

Mariana - posted on 06/25/2010

13

23

1

I feel your pain I cant stand my mother in law and it doesn't get easier to be truthful but just do your own thing and stand up for your self when you need to !!

Emily - posted on 06/25/2010

110

1

5

I didnt want mine because I was still scared out of my mind that I would lose my son. He was 3 months premee and I didnt want to have all that stuff around if he hadnt of made it. I HATE big crowds, and being the center of attention. So I talked to an old friend most of the shower in the corner.
My MIL being the selfish B**** she is, told my husband to open the gifts without me,that i didnt deserve to do it. I ran out of the building and took a walk just crying my eyes out. Due to my best friends friend passing away in an car accident (like their dad) and the fact that I wasnt sure that I would have my son to use those things.
It took my grandma, aunt, mom, and sister to look for me and calm me down. My MIL told my husband to stay and open the gifts while im having a breakdown. I honestly just wanted my dog... he was the only thing that I felt safe with. Well, my sister finally tugged at my heart. See she had her baby full term just 16 days before I had my son. And she told me something that I will never forget and i yelled at her like it was her fault, it wasnt. My mother had to give me meds to calm me down just so I could go back into my shower and finish it. And the B**** had left without seeing if i was okay or anything. I will never forgive her for that.
And then calling me a bad wife...ok my husband and i fight... who doesnt? I know Im not the best wife I could be, but hubby isnt perfect either. (like she wants to believe) As for a bad mother, at least I help my family when they need it. She wont even help with new glasses for my husband even though she knows we are living paycheck to paycheck.
Also when I had my baby I just spent the entire night watching him stop breathing and she brings her entire family (without asking) and then when I tell her Im tired and would like to stay in bed that my husband can take them to see my son, shhe brings a gift. A gift that i didnt want to open because i had just seen my son stop breathing a lot. I started crying and I hear the idiot say to my husband while im in the bathroom, "Maybe you should tell the doctor, I think shes got post pardom depression." Man I held my tongue from yelling at her, No B**** its called watching your son stop breathing! Get the hell out of here.
Though when my grandparents showed up (they called first) I took them to see my son. And she didnt like that. And threw it in my husbands face later. Well, if I liked her I would have, but I dont so didnt feel I should. I wasn't going to bring tension to my babys bedside.

So I hate her, she acts like nothing ever happened, which is fine with me. She wont be seeing my son anytime soon, because I know she isnt going to say shes sorry for the things shes done to me and my husband. Heck Im not even sure if holidays me and my son will be going. No skin off my bottom... and my baby doesnt need to learn that behavior. This is making me want to make a phone call... :/

Michelle - posted on 06/25/2010

185

15

8

Wow! Thanks for everyone's advice!!! It means a lot.. However, I think I may go with Emily. I can completely understand why you would be pissed!!

I didn't want a baby shower either, I don't like being around a large group of people. His mom wanted the party at her place, but seeing theres many grandparents that can't do stairs & at my aunts they have a ramp in their garage to make it easier, she had a tizzy fit and gave me the addresses of the grandparents instead of aunts, uncles & cousins.. I wasnt too happy about that. And then I said I didnt want cupcakes there because if her stand, her daughter got it for her, Which knowing that woman, she would've made it alllll about her too. So I said no. made her even more pissed. His mother & his sister ruined our engagement, I will never forgive either of them. I have decided that I dont want him going to her, if he has to the max is two hours... I dont want my son tainted. And if she would ever say I was a bad wife or mother, that woman would be picking up her teeth. I have a lot of respect for people who respect my family & myself.. Like his dad, his dad is AMAZING!!! I really just hate stuck up *itches... Chris & I are planning to be married next June, I dont want her helping with my wedding or anything in the future. Another thing that angers me.. baby's need to be burped... She wouldnt burp him neither would her daughter & then he spits up everywhere! You need to hit my sons back hard because he doesnt like to burp! My aunt was watching me burp him at his baptism & she made her comment there too.. "maybe i should call social services & get you for child abuse" I told her to go ahead & the last I knew its called taking care of my child & burping him... shes another one that needs to get smacked.

Emily - posted on 06/24/2010

110

1

5

I had the exact same problems with my MIL and we are now not speaking to each other. I don't like her, I think shes a bitch from hell that needs to mind her own business. The best thing for me and my husband, we just dont talk about her, we dont go see her unless we have to, and i refuse to leave my preemie baby with her until I get an apology from her (she said i was a bad wife and mom). And even then my baby may not go over there without me or my husband.
She still doesn't understand why we have nothing to do with her, (she was always calling to make sure of stuff that we already knew, like "make sure hes in the Air Conditioning", stuff like that. And when I had him 3 months early she was telling me how I should be happy he's alive instead of sad and angry that he's in the NICU two hours away. She ruined my babyshower with her "everything is about me" attitude. (I didnt want the damn thing in the first place, but because she wanted me to, i did. and turned out one of the worst days of my life)
My hubby and I have just agreed to disagree. I hate her, (never have i hated anyone before) and anytime he wants to see her, he does just without me and our son goes sometimes but not always.
She also basically took my son away for four hours without my permission and wondered why she wasnt seeing him again. I've had a hard time with him leaving my sight, i had to leave him a lot when he was in the NICU and Im not ready to leave him with anyone other than my grandparents.
Plus to make it worse for herself, she took him for four hours and when I called, didnt answer or text me back when I wanted him home. she took it upon herself to bring him home when she wanted, not when I wanted him home. So he's not going over there without one of us.
So my advice, (which has seemed to work for my husband and I, due to he's tired of her too, but she is still his mom)
Dont be mean about it, but just don't have her in ur lives right now. Mine is just a lot of drama and I dont want it in our lives right now. But make sure your fiance agrees with it too, or your going to have a fight on your hands. (we did and just ended up comin to the conclusion just to not talk about her or see her)

Amy - posted on 06/22/2010

6,257

33

2375

I'm sure you already know this but when you get married you are marrying into the entire family whether you like them or not. In laws can be annoying but there isn't much you can do, you are always going to be the one that takes their son away, you will never be good enough for their baby, and they will always side with their son no matter how horrible he has behaved.
My suggestion if you do plan on getting married is pick your battles or move to another state to limit contact with them. Any future events have them at your place so you can control the situation, if you live with them you need to get out because you will resent her more and more everyday. Have your fiancé run interference with his mother (although I know from personal experience they don't really get it). Try to bite your tounge as much as possible, the nicer you are it will aggravate her even more. I now watch everybody loves Raymond whenever it's on because it makes me laugh and knows how Deborah feels! Good luck and know that you are not alone!!

Jennifer - posted on 06/22/2010

19

12

3

Well, for the sake of your little baby...I would try to suck it up. Just stand your ground but always be the one who is respectful and sets clear boundaries. I wouldn't want to make enemies with her after all you are marrying her son and I am sure you want your son to have a good relationship with his grandmother. I would address these issues with her respectfully and let her know how she is making you feel. Don't sink to her level!! I understand that it is sooo hard and you are probably so pissed!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms