Is it Wise to seperate my son from his Father?

Helen - posted on 07/01/2010

cant you travel at weekends back to stop with your hubby? or is it too far? you need to have serious words with his parents and let them know what bothers you. this is your and your hubbys child so what you say goes.

Renee - posted on 06/30/2010

I would suggest that you and your husband try to get your own place first. I really don't get a long with my MIL. I had 2 miscarriages before I had our first child. She told me that it was my fault that I miscarried because I was working. She told me that I was going to give my son cancer because I was feeding him out of plastic bottles, and that he was going to get Downs if I got him immunized. She is a paranoid person, but means well. I could never live with her.
My husband's parents divorced when he was about 12 years old. He now has a lot of issues around our marriage. He always thinks I will leave him each time we have an argument. He has a lot of security issues. His father was never around when he was growing up. So he doesn't know what to do with our kids. Just now he is starting to help out with our 2 year old son. I myself have been thinking now and then of leaving my husband for other issues. But I don't want to take his children away from him. If you and your husband do not live together at least let him visit as often as he wants. Maybe things will get better as time passes. Money can make any marriage break and cause A LOT of stress. If you fight and argue, don't do it where the kids can hear you. Even babies feel the stress and are affected by it.

Amy - posted on 06/30/2010

I would say that you should try and work his out with your husband. Unfortanetly it sounds like at the moment he is somewhat dependent on his parents since the cash flow is tight, whether or not they caused it he probably doesn't feel comfortable cutting ties with them especially because you both are living with them even though you moved out. Is there any way you can continue staying at your parents, are they close to where your husband works, could he stay there too?
If not I would say you two should look into trying to find a place together on your own, not in your in-laws house. I know how frustrating in-laws can be I lived with mine for a period of time when I was pregnant with my first son as my husband and I searched for a house. I gave my husband a deadline that if we didn't have a house by a certain date we were going to start apartment searching because I was not bringing a baby home from the hospital to our cramped bedroom at his parents. I think you and you're husband need to sit down and talk. Also you need to keep in mind courts don't always side with the mother so if you decided to pack up and just move away without having a custody arrangement through the courts you could get in trouble for custodial interference. Before you move away I would talk to a lawyer first. I'm sorry that you are going through his but I don't think in-laws are a reason to take your son away from his father.

Jennifer - posted on 06/30/2010

Having your husband in your sons life is very important for your son's well being. Is there anyway to try to limit your exposure to his parents but still be close enough so that your son has a father? I would try all other options before making that decision unless your safety or child's safety is at stake of course. Your well being is also very important for your child because he needs you to help him feel safe and secure. I would try to brainstorm ways for you to be happy with your life while also having your son's father in his life as well!

Kayleigh - posted on 06/30/2010

it is entiraly up to u but my mum and dad split when i was young and it wasnt good as my brother got alapicha and i got a bladder problem but like i sed it up to you and noone can make desicions for u have u tried speaking to ure partner and telling him how u feal tahts the only way u can do it and talk to the inlaws and tell them how u feal