Need help- 8 weeks old

Melodie - posted on 05/03/2010 ( 28 moms have responded )

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My baby girl cries unless I am holding her and because of this I have been holding her when she naps. She was really colicky for 6 weeks and now it is getting better but she needs me to hold her 24/7. She does sleep in her bed fine at night though. Is this how newborns are supposed to be or am I starting a bad habit. I would like to put her down either to sleep or play alone so I can do something without her screaming at me. Need help, I was told I couldn't spoil a newborn so maybe this is normal behavior, I need to return to work for 15 days and she will be watched by grandma during those days so I am scared cuz unless grandma is willing to hold her ALL DAY she will cry.

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Stacey - posted on 05/04/2010

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I have an 8wo also...same thing...lots of holding and Ive been getting frustrated about wanting to get some stuff done around the house. My husband reminded me that the dishes and the laundry will wait...this time is precious with baby and doesnt last forever, so...the dishes are still in a pile and my husband wore his bottom of the barrel pants today, but loving cuddle time with my little man! Enjoy your time with your little one!

[deleted account]

i have a similar problem with my 2month old son...he wants to be held all day long, but at night, he'll sleep in his crib... one of my friends with a one year old told me that a lot of her friends had the same situation and that it is perfectly normal...she said that the first 3 months of a baby's life are considered a sort of 4th trimester of pregnancy and it is normal for them to want to be close to you...she said that her friends with that situation told her that it was not a gradual thing, but all of a sudden they noticed that their babies did not need to be held all the time...

Amy - posted on 05/03/2010

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This is completely normal, the last 2 days I haven't been able to put my 6 wo down for more than 5 minutes before she's awake and screaming! She is sleeping well at night so I've been really just holding her as much as possibe, I know it's frustrating when you want to get stuff done but it can wait. The reason I say that is I have a 4 yo and once he started moving we couldn't hold him unless he was sick so I'm taking it all in now! As far as grammie watching I wouldn't be too concerned I know if my mom or my mother in law is around the baby needs to be pryed out of their arms with a crowbar, lol.

Gayle - posted on 05/06/2010

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My daughter is 9 weeks old and she likes to sleep with one of my shirts because it smells like me.... So every time i take off a shirt, she gets it.... sometimes i swaddle it around her legs (she hates her arms restricted) or sometimes i put it behind her in her car seat.... your LO just needs to be able to feel like they are close to you... If you are going back to work, it might be a good idea to leave one of your dirty shirts with grandma for the baby.... just a suggestion and it's been working most times for me!

Rachel - posted on 05/03/2010

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My son is not quite 2 months and i have a similar issue when he feels insecure. i just can't put him down. My mom says that it is normal. They were held 24/7 in the womb, so this is new for them. i have found that the swing or a bouncy chair on vibrate will give me about a half hour of time where i don't have to hold him. My mom also suggested that i just let him cry for a bit. She says it is good for his lungs. (she is a nurse). Also try some white noise. I'm sure you have tried everything. something my mom said to me that helped is "you are not a bad mom if your baby cries."

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Mrs Asraf - posted on 06/21/2010

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yes, you cannot spoil a newborn. once they are 4 months, we might want to teach them to feel secure without us around.

especially early babies, they want to be held and comforted to feel secure. my aaliyah will only fall asleep in my arms too but she finally learn to soothe herself to sleep.

responding to your baby's needs as fast as you can may help her to feel more secure. avoid waiting too long to respond to her cries. she will cry lesser, this way..

i hope this helps. :)

Michelle - posted on 05/20/2010

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i am surprised by all these replys, i thought i was the only one with a baby tike this! he is slowly getting better on his own tho.. on a good day he will play in his swing or playmat for 20 mins, but thats about it... + i have tryed everything, the ones that seem to work for me are wrapping for sleep and a sling for daytime so i can sort of do some work here and there.

Amber - posted on 05/18/2010

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My little girl is like that too. My mom told me to swaddle her when i put her down for her nap. Since she's swaddled at night and she sleeps wonderful-up to 8 hours a night and she's only 9 weeks old. So I tried today to swaddle her when I put her down for a nap and so far she's been sleeping solid. She's used to being held to fall asleep but then i can't get anything done and I'm more moody. I also let her cry it out at times-it's good for them to cry and know how to get themselves back to sleep. Good luck!! Hopefully all these inputs will help you.

Bianca - posted on 05/17/2010

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i purchased a Woombie, my bub has colic and reflux and she didnt sleep at all, would nap only on me, and with treatment at chiro and bowen therapy as well as this woombie and medication my bub is improving every day! highly recommend giving the woombie a go! www.woombie.com.au



i am now able to put her in the electric swing and leave her to get things done, or on the floor (for a short time, tummy time) without her screaming, i do find though she doesntlike me not being in the room though.

Leah - posted on 05/16/2010

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I dont think its a bad habbit at all. Your baby will only be this young once and you need to enjoy the cuddles while you can. My son is 9 weeks old and up until 8 weeks old he only went to sleep if we were holding him against our chests. My hubby started to get worried he might get too used to it and he would scream as soon as you put him down.

We decided to try getting him to go to sleep on his own. So the last 2 weeks we have been giving cuddles until we see the first tired sign. A yawn, eyes closing, holding his ear, rubbing his eyes etc. AS SOON AS WE SEE THIS, he is swaddled tightly and put in his cot. We thought he would scream the house down, but to our surprise he took about 15 minutes of wriggling around and grizzling, then went to sleep. We now do this every sleep and its working wonders. He is also now sleeping up to 3-4 hours during the day and up to 6-7 hours at night.

When we spoke to our maternal health nurse she said we were probly cuddling him before until he wss over tired coz we missed his tired signs, then they get unsettled and hard to sleep. Im amazed at how good this has worked.

I would say keep an eye out for the first tired sign, swaddle tighly and put to bed. We only let him cry maximum 3-4 minutes before we go and put his dummy in, and he is usually asleep within 5-10 minutes!

Goodluck and enjoy those cuddles!!

NICOLE - posted on 05/16/2010

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That is a bad habit! When she cries that is helping her to develop good lungs. Now that she is getting over the colic let her lie down by herself n cry if she has to. Put her on her side or stomache if she lies on her back all d time, a different position sometimes help. If she is only accustom to u, being with her grandma is going to b difficult cause all she knows is your smell. Let her lie more often or atleast spend some time with grandma before u go back out to work to get her accustom to someone else. I wish you GOODLUCK!!!!!!!!

Erin - posted on 05/15/2010

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do you have a chair that vibrates and plays music?? try putting your little one in that, it helps to calm my little girl down when she wants to be held and I have things to do. Also, maybe a play mat with toys that hang from it. My little one also could play on her mat for HOURS!!

Nateira - posted on 05/14/2010

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some babies are just more needy and affectionate and need the security of being close to someone. My son is very similar and my dr said you won't really be creating a "bad habit" until roughly 4 months, because that's when the 'association' part of their brain becomes active.

Becky - posted on 05/14/2010

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i have beeen running into this since my son turned about 2 wks (he's 6 wks now). I was in the hospital after having a c-section for a wk...during this time at the hospital and until last week i had visitors literally every single day... so...of course, my son was held 24/7! he will play for a tiny bit by himself on the floor but HATES not being held.
i'm going to the store today to buy a moby wrap... i hear they are WONDERS!

Robin - posted on 05/14/2010

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my first child was just like this - I used a sling most of the day and napped with her sleeping on my chest. At 4 months we let her cry it out, it took 3 days - the hardest 3 days of my life. Now she's 2 years old and she has been a dream ever since. She goes to bed really well (naps too)!

Lisa - posted on 05/13/2010

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I used to have the same problem with my baby. She was very coliky too, would only sleep if I held her and didn't like been put down. I got told to swaddle her to see if that helped and it did almost instantly. I also tucked her in very tight in her blankets. As soon as I started doing this she started to sleep for 3-4 hours at a time. I used a vibrating bouncer which had lights and music, she liked being in that, she started to like it so much that she would fall asleep in it. It was so good I went from holding her all the time to her been in the bouncer for up to 40mins at a time. She is now 9 weeks old and will also lie on her playmat very happily. During the night if she wasnt swaddled she would wake about 3 or 4 times but that instantly went down to 1-2 when I started swaddling and now its only 1.

Miranda - posted on 05/13/2010

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I totally understand. My daughter struggles with sleeping on her own (8 weeks old) - i am worried about grandma holding her all day when i return to work too.

while we can't spoil our babies by holding them too much i wonder if we are making bad sleeping habits by them only being able to fall asleep while being held?

Jeanette - posted on 05/12/2010

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my son usually only whats held all the time when he's somewhere new or if he got a shot at the doctors but i would say try the swing or a bouncy chair. My son has a bouncy chair and when I'm cleaning the house or anything i just move him and his chair in to whatever room I'm in other wise he starts crying. you could also try a play mat it might entertain her. I wouldn't worry about grandma and her, she raised a child herself remember so I'm sure she will find someway to get your baby to not cry.A lot of the time my baby boy's grandma can get him to stop crying when i can't

Sarah - posted on 05/11/2010

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My son is doing the same thing. I have not been able to put him down for days. I found the front pack helps, so I can get a few things done. He loves to be bounced. I don't really have any different adivce than the other Moms, but I'm in the same boat!! I like the idea of the yoga ball, going to try that out!! Good luck.

[deleted account]

like someone told you can't spoil a baby. Their only sense of love is through contact. so don't worry about that just when she sleepin put here down . Take her to grandmas for a day kinda hide and see how she acts with grandma

Meredith - posted on 05/10/2010

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My baby needs to be held quite a bit as well so I invested in a sling (I got it at Babies-R-Us). My baby loves it and she sleeps soundly in the sling and I can have my hands free to do anything I need to do. It has made a huge difference!

Shelley - posted on 05/10/2010

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sorry, don't have helpful advise, but my baby is the same. He is 7 weeks now, and for most of the day I have to have him in my arms. He gets fussy almost all the time if I try to put him down and if I don't pick him back up he'll start crying, crying quickly turns into screaming and shaking. Sometimes I put him in the front carrier and "hold" him that way just so I can at least get his bottles washed. I'm trying to leave him longer before picking him up, but it's a struggle. Let me know if you figure out a solution!

Ashley - posted on 05/08/2010

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Have you tried getting a woombie? It's the best swaddler that i've found. Otherwise, you might just have a baby that needs you more than others. Sometimes its just part of their personality.

Jessica - posted on 05/07/2010

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Try swaddling her really tight in the blankets put a receiving blanket next to her neck so she cant smother on it that smells like you it will make her feel more secure I have to do this with my little boy some times works like a charm good luck

Katharine - posted on 05/06/2010

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Try a baby carrier...lets them stay close to your chest while your hands are free...was a lifesaver for my first born...too bad they don't make them for twins though! I could really use it now!

User - posted on 05/04/2010

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I also have a "Snugli" carrier that straps to my chest that I put my daughter in so I can still carry her but have 2 free hands to do dishes, laundry, cook dinner, and take care of my 2 year old son. I think that you can spoil an infant with holding them "too much". When my family comes to visit she is never put down, and for the next few days she will cry as soon as I set her down. Then she gets better and I can actually put her down for her naps and to play with her floor toys. But I do enjoy snuggling with my little girl. My son was not a snuggler and only is now when he gets jealous of his baby sister.

Melodie - posted on 05/04/2010

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Thanks for all the input. I have heard over and over you cant hold your baby too much you cant spoil her too much, I just dont get how anything can get done in the house or anywhere else! Thanks for your help I'll stand my ground when people say I'm spoiling her.

User - posted on 05/03/2010

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I keep my 6 wk old swaddled when she sleeps/naps. If I don't she is up 5 min after I put her down. It sounds a little cheesy but I also have a shirt of mine that she lays on in her crib which she will rut her face on and keeps her calm.

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