Stressed! Please give advice (sorry its a long one)

Lindsay - posted on 07/02/2010

I was borederline as well, and the thing that helped me the most was socializing. I tried to go out for lunch at least once a week with someone. I'd take walks up to the local grocery store and end up talking to other moms in the baby aisle. Socializing really helped me feel normal again. I also learned that the housework can wait. No one will hold it against a new mom if the house is a mess. You can get to the housework once you get on a set schedule with the little one. I actually sat down and made up a daily schedule for me and my daughter. We rarely stick to it exactly, but it helps to have that stability.

Michelle - posted on 07/02/2010

It's hard being so young and almost a single parent. I have 5 kids of my own and with the last baby born on Mar 1st I actually experience depression. Saw my dr with my husband and she insisted on my taking the medication. She told my husband that if it looks like I need to take one that he is to enforce it. It sounds like the dr are not doing there job. Find someone else and insist that you get medication. This is a medical problem that can not be ignored and it is neglect on the dr part if they are saying "Keep an Eye on it". You clearly do need help and they are not listening. It helped me tremendously and I have been off it now since beginning of May. So I was on it for a little more than 2 mo's. Hanging in there. Talk to your partner and dr about getting help and see if you parents could give you a break now and then.

Debbie - posted on 07/01/2010

Hi Lauren, both these ladies have given you great advice. I have 6 children & I know how you are feeling. The biggest hurdle is getting enough sleep so you feel human again. I used to worry too much about housework but you need to take any opportunity you can and sleep when bub does, or a nice soak in a hot bath helps to. If family and friends are available ask them for help even if it is only for an hour. Tell your partner how desperate you are feeling, he is the father and needs to contribute with the housework & raising your son and not just financially. Go back to your doctor and tell them exactly what you have told us. Stay strong sweetie and look after yourself your are doing a great job and don't give up hope!!

Kimberly - posted on 07/01/2010

Your partner definitely needs to help you when he's not at work, and if you talked to him, I'm sure he would help you out by getting up early, or staying up a little later before going to bed. Perhaps an hour later and earlier.

I would recommend trying to take a walk every day. It doesn't matter where, but exercise and fresh air will do you and the baby some good. Exercise releases endorphins which will in time make you feel more energized! Just take a walk, even if it's just to the grocery store or somewhere else with people. It will do wonders just to be around adults for a little while. Plus, it always makes me feel good when people stop to look at the baby, as they ask questions about him. It's some adult conversation at least...

Amy - posted on 07/01/2010

You're doing the best that you can, basically you're a single parent right now which isn't easy for anyone God knows I get annoyed with my husband when he sleeps in even though he doesn't get home till 3 in the am. You need to talk to your partner and let him now he has to help you. He should be up by 4 pm that's 9 hours of sleep so that you can sleep for 3 hours or escape for 3 hours.
As far as having a breakdown you need to be your biggest advocate with your drs. Don't sugarcoat it for them, tell them exactly how you feel and that no one is taking you seriously. It's the same way you would advocate for your little one if he was sick!
For sleep you need to learn to sleep when your lo is sleeping! Don't worry about the house right now it can all wait till your lo starts sleeping longer and not so fussy! Can your parents help you out at all? If they could keep your son overnight one night a week so you can get a solid night sleep? Your partner needs to step up the 3 days he's not working be either helping with the cleaning or taking all the night feeds if he wants to stay on a schedule so his body isn't going back and forth with sleep. Don't worry about your hair it's your hormones trying to adjust, I'm losing handfuls everytime I run my fingers through mine in the shower and your sick because no one can function on 7 hours of sleep. Honestly you need to let your partner know in a constructive way he needs to step up and be a dad not just someone who gives money!