With a heavy heart...

Sarah - posted on 10/16/2010 ( 33 moms have responded )

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It is with a heavy, heavy heart I announce to you all, the loss of our sweet little angel, Sophie Noella Rose, born March 24th, 2010.

She woke up Wednesday October 13th as normal, such a happy baby girl, smiling away & so excited to see me. Our morning routine was the same as it has always been....no indication of the nightmare we were about to endure. She went down for a nap about 11am & was sleeping soundly. Daddy came home for lunch about noon & she woke up & acknowledged he was home. Within half an hour, he noticed she was 'acting funny'. In disbelief I told him, "what do you mean, 'acting funny'? she was fine all morning." Then I went to check on her. She just looked at me with this "mommy, what is happening to me?" question in her face...she was quite warm & breathing rapidly. I stripped her down, took her temp & put a lightweight sleeper on her. Her temp was barely 102F (39C) so I wasn't too alarmed as she is teething & there is so many colds going around right now. The breathing is what alarmed me. I kept trying to tell myself 'maybe it is just because of the fever...'

We went to the hospital & they ran tests, ruling out everything from tonsillitis/ear infection to pneumonia. They figured it was just the flu or a bad cold & we were released to go home. Her breathing seemed to have settled down & she finally fell asleep, as she was so tired. She slept for about an hour again & when she woke up, she seemed so very pale. Her erratic breathing returned & she just seemed to moan in pain. She was burning up at this point, but again the temp only read 102.4F so I gave her a tempid bath. Her temp lowered a bit, & I just put her in her diaper & wrapped her loosely in a receiving blanket & just held her. She opened her & just stared at me with look of fear in her eyes & I knew then something was really very wrong & frantically told my husband we need to go to the hospital NOW.

As soon as we got there, they rushed her in & began working on her...tubes, monitors, IV's...we were beside ourselves....what was happening to our healthy, beautiful, happy baby girl? Then we were told we were being flown to Edmonton (4 hours away) with her & a specialized peds team was being flown up for Sophie. No matter how much they were working on her, she just kept getting worse & worse. Just before the peds team arrived, she went into cardiac arrest. They worked on her for over an hour but she just couldn't fight anymore. She fought with everything she had until the very end....Our little Sophie, passed shortly after midnight on Thursday October 14th.

I held her for hours afterwards, just rocking her...praying this was all some horrible nightmare...but our little angel had been called home, away from all her pain & suffering. God answered our prayers, but in a different way. He saw how much she was suffering & He took her home. She was an angel on loan to us for a short time.

We found out later that day that it was Septicaemia caused by Neisseria meningitidis, the bacterium commonly found in meningitis. In Sophie's rare case, it caused a meningococcal infection of her blood (meningococcal septicaemia) which in 12 short hours, took her from us. It carried a 75% mortality rate in infants under the age of 2yrs within a few hours of initial onset. It is so rare, it is hard to diagnose as it does not present itself like bacterial or viral meningitis...ie stiff neck, high fever over 104F/40C...

I am sorry to share such horrible news but I feel everyone needs to know...to be educated, to possibly recognize the signs so it may be caught sooner, so no little ones have to ever suffer from this.

We are staying strong as we know she would want us to. Hug your little ones close for us.

Rest In Peace our sweet baby girl, our precious little Sophie ♥

"Babies are angels with invisible wings..."

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33 Comments

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Heather - posted on 02/09/2012

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I am so sorry to hear this news. Your angel shares my daughter's birthday, and this is particularly moving to me because of this. My family and I will keep you in our prayers, and I know your little one is watching you from heaven.

Trina - posted on 02/06/2012

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:( im so sorry this is just terrible thank you for sharing your sad story to help others... may she rest in peace with God!

Amy - posted on 11/16/2010

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I am so sorry for your loss. No one should ever have to go through a loss like that. RIP Your little angel.

Shauna - posted on 11/15/2010

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I cannot express in words the hurt i feel for you, may god be with you and your family. Please know your angel is with you, and try to be strong if you can find it in you.

Jennifer - posted on 11/12/2010

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I am so so very sorry for your loss. I don't have the words to say but know that I'm crying with you as I read this. My prayers for you and your family.

Maleka - posted on 11/12/2010

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i m sooo sorry to read ur news... i m crying......... cant imagine what u must be going through.. lots and lots of hugs to you!! ur really brave..... u will be in my prayers...... hugs..

Nandini - posted on 11/12/2010

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I'm so sorry for your loss.Just reading your post makes my heartache. I will pray for Sophie's soul and that she has expiated her karma through her suffering. I send my prayers for you and your family through this extremely difficult time.

Michelle - posted on 10/22/2010

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:'( im so sorry for your loss. i couldnt even imagine how hard this must be for you and your family. my thoughts and prayers are with you, and thank you for sharing this with us all.

Katie - posted on 10/21/2010

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I am so sorry for your loss, your family is in my prayers. I was crying when I read this and it gave me chills since my son was born on the same day, I can't even imagine the horrible nightmare that would be. She is in a better place now. I read somewhere that babies know who they are coming to and are chosen from God to what parents they will have. That babies are ment to teach us something and I believe she was ment to teach all of us about this illness and to help keep it from happening to other babies. God bless you, you will see her again one day and she will always be looking down on you. RIP precious baby Sophie

Alicia - posted on 10/21/2010

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i am soooooooooo sorry for your loss! i have a son who was born march 5th, 2010 & i cant imagine having to go through what you guys went through :( i had tears when i read your story. i will keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers. RIP baby Sophie...God wanted his angel home w/ him :)

Melissa - posted on 10/20/2010

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Thank you for sharing your story. My heart truly aches for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers go out to your family.

Brittany - posted on 10/20/2010

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Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry! I'm crying for you... Thank you for sharing. I cant imagine how hard it was/is... my prayers go out to you and your family...

Kari - posted on 10/19/2010

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I am so sorry Cerah! Your sweet Sophie was born a day before my daugther, Mya! I cannot begin to imagine what you and your family must be going through at this time! But my heart, my tears, and my prayers go out to you! I hope you find peace in the joyful memories you shared with her in her short time on this earth and take comfort in knowing you will be with her again one day! She will always be your angel and always be with you! She will never have to suffer again! Stay strong!!!

K - posted on 10/19/2010

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I'm so unbelievably sorry to hear about your loss Cerah. Thank you for taking the time to share with us and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Myriam - posted on 10/19/2010

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Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't stop crying, my heart is aching for you and your family. Sending you many prayers through this awful time...May God bless you.

Nikki - posted on 10/19/2010

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Oh hun, I am so so sorry for your loss :( Don't know what else to say :(

Ambyr - posted on 10/18/2010

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I am so sorry. I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain and grief you feel. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this hard time. Stay strong. Rest easy little angel Sophie.

Tara - posted on 10/17/2010

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Your story broke my heart. My heart goes out to you and your family.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/17/2010

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To say sorry just doesn’t feel like enough….my heart hurts for you…it cries for you both…as I read this I felt sharp pains in my heart, thinking of my son.

I pray for the strength of u both, especially for the days that you will miss her more then ever…

Blessings Ebony

Renee - posted on 10/17/2010

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I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I started to cry as I was reading this, I can't imagine what you and your family are going through right now. My heart goes out to you.

Kristy - posted on 10/17/2010

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I was crying the whole time I read that. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's a cliche but at the very very least.. she isn't in pain anymore, she no longer has to suffer and she will always be watching down on you and your family.
Rest In Peace baby Sophie, you may not have been here for a long time, but you've changed the lives of everyone who got the pleasure to see your beautiful smiling face.

Fanny - posted on 10/17/2010

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I`m so sorry for your loss, my God!!! I`m already crying a lot, don`t even imagine that can happen to anyone, you and your family will be in my prayers. God give you peace and the strengh to fight through your pain. RIP Baby Angel Sophie!

Natasha - posted on 10/17/2010

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I am so deeply saddened for your loss! how brave of you to share! I admire your courage and faith! god bless you and yours! I'm guessing you live in Alberta? I too live in Alberta and am glad we have good specialists in Edmonton but sad that it was not enough.

Melissa - posted on 10/17/2010

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Thanks for sharing your story...You are in our thoughts today!

Sarah - posted on 10/17/2010

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It was caused by the bacterium commonly found in meningitis...most adults carry it in their nasal passages...it occurs like a natural flora...sneezing/coughing could spread the bacterium but it is so very rare for it to turn in to meningococol septicemia...this is the infection of the blood. It is only about a 1in 100,000 chance of it becoming this kind of infection. It carries a 75% mortality rate in infants under the age of 2. Even if they had caught it in time, there is very little they could have done. Sophie would have never been the same & more than likely would have never, ever left the hospital. The infection got in to her blood & attacked every organ in her body, shutting them down 1 by 1. She fought with everything she had. If she had of survived, she would have suffered major damage to all her organs & they would have not functioned properly. She probably would have been blind, deaf & never have been able to speak.



This is not what the little ones are vaccinated against as it is not meningitis. It is not contagious like chicken pox or the flu. My dad read that it is a gene they are born with that makes them more susceptible to septicaemia.



I pray they can find a way to detect this earlier, before any damage is done, so the mortality rate decreases. I pray no one, no parent, no child should ever have to suffer from this. It takes them so very quickly....thank you all for your kind words, prayers & support. It is helping us through this nightmare. We can feel your love & support no matter what the distance...thank you all ♥

Taylor - posted on 10/16/2010

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I am so sorry Cerah. I am crying my eyes out. I can't even imagine... Just know that she is healthy and happy again now and in a MUCH MUCH better place. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

If you don't mind me asking... what causes this infection? is it just spread through contact?

Allison - posted on 10/16/2010

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what can you write in response to this... I cannot imagine what you are going through, I thought that having a miscarriage was emotionally painful, I can't even begin to think of what you are going through losing a baby. My thoughts are with you, and Sophie, my words cannot even begin to express how sadly your post touched me, thank you for thinking of us in your time of pain, and I will be hugging my little one with all my heart tonight.

Mary - posted on 10/16/2010

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I am so sorry to hear that! You'll be in my prayers.

Jodi - posted on 10/16/2010

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I will always be praying for you & your family!! Thank you for educating all of us and in her memory I will make sure to never take another day for granted. RIP baby angel Sophie

Melissa - posted on 10/16/2010

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Oh Cerah...I am soooo saddened by your loss! My prayers are with you and your family for you to find peace in this very sad time! I pray that God will hold your heart right now and give you stregth to move forward! She is a beautiful little angel!

Becky - posted on 10/16/2010

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oh my goodness. that is so heart wrenching. I'm so very sorry for your loss. My thought and prayers are out for you and your family. your little one is watching over you now. I know she loved you so much. thank you for sharing with us the signs and such so we can know what to look for. as i know it must have been so hard just to write these words. praying for you all

Melodie - posted on 10/16/2010

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Oh- this is so heart wrenching- I am so sorry I cant express it in words. Please try to understand that she is happy- it is hard for us here on this earth. I will pray and cry for you and your family.

Amy - posted on 10/16/2010

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I am so very sorry for your loss, I can not imagine the pain and heartache that you and your family are going through! My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family and your little angel!