I want to be comfortable in my own home! HELP PLEASE!

Holly Janelle - posted on 08/04/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm a 23 year old mother of one my DD is 4 1/2 months and I also have a step son that is 10. My boyfriend is 30 and is a wonderful boyfriend and father. I'm so blessed to have my little family :) There is one thing that gets underneath my skin though...my father in law who is living with us. Before we got together my boyfriend asked his dad to come live with him to help out with my boyfriends son because he worked really long hours and needed help. His dad doesn't have a life and has ruined any relationship with his side of his family and has NO friends because no one can stand him and he has been married 6 times!! A lady down our street told me that he constantly found it necessary to tell her about it sexual past and ask in depth questions about Breastfeeding, and have been told that he has also talked to women at my step sons football games about breast feeding. I'm currently Breastfeeding and when my boyfriend is gone I feel incredibly uncomfortable being out in our living room when he isn't here. So when my boyfriend is gone I stay cooped up in our bedroom all day which really sucks! My father in law does live out in a room in our garage but he comes in and out of there all the time. Since My boyfriend and I have gotten together I have taken responsibility of everything in our house hold I clean, work, cook, grocery shop, do laundry, take my step son to school/ foot Ball practice ect. so really there is nothing for him to do. Sometimes we need him to cook or something but that's RARE! I'll admit we are financially struggling and that really stresses us out and he does NOTHING at all to help us. If he gets any money which is incredibly rare he spends it on cigarettes. His excuse for not working is which happened years ago he broke his back and had heart surgery, and you know what I had OPEN heart surgery 4 years ago and I work! He is perfectly capable of getting around by the way, he is on his feet constantly and he walks around the block like a bum all the time looking for cans so he can go and sell them for cigarettes. If he really is unable to work he needs to file for social security and get help but they have already denied him before a couple of years ago so he just doesn't try. Seriously he does nothing here. Yesterday I had to ask him to clean his and my step sons bathroom because it was disgusting and my step son didn't want to take a bath because it was so nasty. I didn't want to clean it because ugh I don't want to deal with my father in laws bathroom germs. I'm uncomfortable with him being here and I want to make it obvious this is my territory this is my home and you need to get the heck out or something. I want to feel comforted by being in my home not sneaking in an out of my room to avoid my father in law. I'm tired of him using my boyfriend for a place to stay and giving him a guilt trip because of his past. My boyfriend has so much on his plate and his dad is so selfish to sit on his butt and do nothing. I can't take this anymore!!! I don't know what to do. Can you help me with the situation?! Any advise will help. Thank you mommies :)

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♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/23/2011

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I'm with Nikki, tell your boyfriend how you feel. It was nice of him to ask his dad to visit. But there's an old saying that Fish and houseguests spoil after 3 days and it sounds like he's gone beyond spoiling!

I definitely sympathize with you on the nasty, dirty not working in law. I used to have one before I was divorced. My ex MiL would say she couldn't work because she had rods in her back due to scoliosis. Uh no it's because you're lazy, my cousin has rods in her back and she also has a bachelors in primary education, is a single mom and teaches full time. She also doesn't bathe, doesn't brush her teeth, has 10 cats and a shedload of roaches.Thank God my ex never wanted her to move in!

Maybe you should also tell your boyfriend's dad that he's making you feel uncomfortable and either he starts helping around the house or he has to find another place to crash because you can't afford it. Get your boyfriend to back you up on that conversation too.

Nikki - posted on 08/23/2011

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I would tell your boyfriend how you feel. If he really cares about you he will do something about the situation to make you comfortable and happy. Stressed out mommies lead to stressed out babies

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