Need advice..

Jillian - posted on 05/27/2012

You cannot keep your true feelings from him and expect the marriage to work. That is part of the whole marriage thing... communication!! You have GOT to talk, talk, talk! He will know at one point or another that something is up, and probably long after the lat move. You may end up feeling resentful of him or the situation later on and even on yourself because you DIDN'T tell him.

My hubs has said he was debating on this MOS or that MOS, most of which hold much higher risks to his life than his current one (which is risky enough as it is!). Even though I didn't like these choices in job prospects and he seemed pretty set on them, I still spilled my guts. I explained how I felt and why. I told him that it scared me, that I didn't like it, ect. But I also told him that even though I felt this way, I would support his decision on one condition. That we WORKED even harder on our marriage to make sure it didn't crumble under the extra pressure.

He took that into account as well as his family as a whole (me, the kids, ect) and decided against the move. That HAS to be part of his decision making process. If you aren't honest with him, what will happen after the lat move when you are so fed up with the situation? Talk!! Open your mouth and speak! Sit down and do so calmly, rationally and in a relaxed way. He will understand. He may have his heart set on one MOS or another, but where will that MOS be when he is sitting in the rocker at an old age? How long will that MOS take care of his children? Exactly. Good luck!

Natasha - posted on 03/21/2011

I would let him know how u feel...either way something is going to change. U can work hard on keeping u guys together, but I think he needs to know ur feelings and concerns as well. Good luck to u!!

Erin - posted on 03/04/2011

I wouldn't hold your feelings in and not tell him your concerns. That might backfire after he's lat moved already and you're upset at him. Tell him your concerns but also include the fact that you don't want him to completely discount that MOS. What you both need to do is talk this out, look at the pros and cons, and figure out how you will both make this work. My advice is to talk to your husband and keep talking. My husband and I have gone through a couple of rough patches and taking about things is what has gotten us through.