How To Avoid Arguing With My Husband.

Laura - posted on 08/01/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am trying lately to avoid arguing with my husband because when we argue it just goes back and forth and nothing ever really gets solved and I can only speak for me but I always end up feeling worse than when I started. I am finding it hard lately though to avoid saying anything hurtful or nasty because I know its wrong and I don't wanna be that person thats nagging and always starts an argument for no reason. So what I have been doing is this avoiding anything hat will start an argument and I have been keeping it to myself as much as I can. I also think though that I shouldnt have to do that because I should be able to tell him everything and anything but is it worth telling if it starts an argument. Is it better to keep thing to myself when I know deep down that it will start a fight and after we fight we will both feel even worse about the situation. What can I do myself to avoid saying anything that I will regret? Its hard to not say anything but since I am trying to be a better person about this I need advice.

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Laura - posted on 08/27/2011

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I know how you feel when I ask my husband to do anything no matter how I ask him to do it or when I ask him it always ends in attitude and an argument. I always tell myself no more just ignore him and do it yourself but eventually he does help me which i appreciate but still i shouldnt have to beg and plead with him to help me out. I always say just ignore him and he will leave you alone its not worth making it worse than it already is so just leave it alone and do it yourself from now on. I just only talk to him when he talks to me from now on cause nothing seems to work these days itsd sad but I do love him.

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Jamille - posted on 08/03/2011

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You are at a road that I'm traveling down right now. That is why I signed up today on this site...For me, it's about taking a moment for myself. Lately, we've been arguing over every tiny thing I believe because he's at home now while I work full time. However, he's at home because he's on disability and he's knees are bad. We really have no heavy financial burderns, but I am feeling overwhelmed period. I have a 2 year old (soon to be 3) and we have an 18 year old (his daughter) who is going to college out of town in 2 weeks. I work, come home, cook, clean a bit, deal with the toddler, take care of EVERYTHING with her and he's just ..........there. I try to put on a happy attitude to avoid things and to no avail we're arguing. What I did last night (maybe this will help) was take a moment for myself. I was getting read to prepare dinner, the tot was in the bath upstairs and our 18yr old was watching her, I had to make the lunches for tomorrow and so I told my husband in the funniest and cheerful voice..."heeey, do you know what will make me haaappy?? if you made the lunch tomorrow for tot?....he just went on and on about how his knee was aching and how this and that, and I'm like, "wow, I can't win for anything"....and we argued a bit, and I started to cook on a burner that was really bad on our stove and it was totally by accident that I lit the pilot, it kind of went up in a mini flame and he went off about that! I just put everything down and walked outside on my porch and just cried and sat for about 15min....I needed to cry, let loose and just be......I wiped my face like a *big girl* and composed myself and went right back to doing dinner...sometimes you just need a moment for yourself....in my case, I am considering talking to a 3rd party outside of our family - therapy. They offer 6 free session thru my benefits at my job...sometimes you need to just talk to someone too...

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