Sarah - posted on 02/08/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )
Ok, I'm a SAHM of 4 girls (ages 7, 5 , 4, and 4). I have been married for 6 years to a great guy. He works hard for us and tries his best at everything he does. BUT, I feel he is ignoring his duties as a husband. I don't want to complain, but what else can I do? I am always at home with our girls (besides taking the eldest 2 to school), I cook, clean, and do all the things wives and mothers are expected to do. My issue is that I do all these things and he comes home, throws his dirty clothes in the floor, doesn't pick up after himself after eating (open jar of mayo left on counter, dirty dishes left wherever he was sitting, etc.), he gets angry if his work clothes didn't make it to the washer (as if I had nothing else to to that day). He gets mad if I move things (while cleaning) that are HIS and complains that I 'lose' his stuff when I do. I just don't feel respected. Like all that I do isn't even worth it. I can't even be in a bad mood without him getting angry about it. The biggest issue is 'intimacy'. He (along with 100% of the male population) wants sex like every day...or every other day. I know that he does, but sometimes I just don't wanna....ya know? and when I explain that I'm tired, or just don't feel up to it, he will get angry and accuse me of cheating- (Like I really have the time to cheat anyway!!!)
It is getting old....I really don't know what else to do about it. I've tried explaining how I feel ignored and unappreciated...and that in turn leaves me upset which totally turns me OFF. I have this thing about smoking in the house, I don't allow it, but he has started doing that...and it really makes me feel like he doesn't care about my views and concerns at all. I have ONLY ONE thing I ask of him when he is home from work: take out the trash. but, he doesn't. it'll just sit there and sit there until I get tired of looking at it and finally take it out myself. Am I just complaining too much or is it really not fair? I can't stand it anymore....his behavior is also rubbing off on our girls...they get an attitude when asked to do something and totally disrespect me all the time.
He also completely undermines my authority when I tell them they can't have something (like a soda) he will tell them to go ahead....as if I never said they couldn't.
Anyway, the list goes on and on. What do you guys think I should do? Should I keep putting up with this nonsense?